Move back to UK for kids' education despite having better quality of life where we are?

[littlewillow123]

Our children are now 12 and 9 years old, and we’re considering moving back to the UK when they reach Year 10 & Year 7. We currently live in SE Asia, where we enjoy a comfortable lifestyle, financial security, and strong family connections. However, we’re thinking about relocating so they can study in the UK from GCSEs through A-levels, potentially giving them better career opportunities and deeper cultural immersion.

💡 Key Factors We're Weighing:
✅ UK: Stronger education system, home fee eligibility for university after three years of residency, greater independence for kids, and exposure to a global environment. However, it comes with high living costs and financial sacrifices.

✅ Where we are: Comfortable lifestyle, financial stability, excellent expat community, strong family support, and flexibility. However, the kids may not fully experience UK culture until later.

📌 Additional Considerations:

• Visa is not an issue as we hold dual citizenship.
• We have family in both countries so children will be living near either sides of the family. Although at the moment they are missing out on time with my husband's side of family.
• We can’t afford private schools in the UK, so they would attend state schools.
• My husband (British) grew up in the UK, went to a top grammar school and university, but he is hesitant. From his experience, teenagers in the UK are more rebellious and exposed to alcohol and drugs at an earlier age, while kids in Asia tend not to have similar issue. One of our child has ADHD so this might be something worth considering.
• With the same income, we’ve been able to save significantly more in Vietnam than we could in the UK and still have better quality of life.

🔎 Our Dilemma:
❓ Would moving to the UK at this stage make a big difference for the kids' future? (We prefer to stay but if it's for the children's benefits, we can live in UK for a few years until they both go to uni)

❓ Or is it better to stay where we are and provide global exposure in other ways (e.g., travel, exchange programs, summer schools)?

If you’ve made a similar decision, we’d love to hear your experience! What did you choose, and how did it turn out? Any advice would be greatly appreciated! 🤔✨

How are schools in SE Asia? How is SEN children treated?
I wouldn't rush back to UK state school 2025.

It varies hugely by area
Some british state schools are fabulous. Others are not. Can you afford to spend a lot on housing to live in a good area?

This looks like it was written by ChatGPT.

Wouldn't bother

i would also be thinking further along to university as well, if you think that is something they may like to do (albeit tough to know at their ages!).

If you stayed on in SE Asia and they attended Uni in the UK they would be classed as a foreign student (it is based on residency not passport) is this something that is affordable to you. Of course there are Uni’s around the world but maybe something to consider.

Apologies I have not answered your actual question but this was/is very much part of the conversation too.

Yes why does this look like AI?
I think your children would struggle to move at those ages. Are they very academic? University isn’t for everyone and they at least have the right to work in the UK if they want.
Are there family in the UK they could stay with if they want to come over for an apprenticeship or a first job?
How much can you spend on buying or renting and which area of the UK? Taking them away from what they know to live in a flat somewhere with poor job opportunities wouldn’t be wise.

I wouldn’t. We did.

Are there any international schools where you are in Vietnam? Would you be able to afford that? I guess they might be more geared to the US system than the UK though.

Check out what schools have availability. Lots of variation in the UK and far too many crap comps.

Thanks to someone who pointed it out it looks like AI. I actually had a "debate" with AI over the pros and cons and that was the list of considerations we came up with at the end. Then I decided to take it to ask opinions of the fabulous people at mumsnet instead. Should have reworded it before posting. Sorry about it.

Schools here don't have support system in place for SEN children. Behavioral problems only occur at home rather than at school so we haven't requested any adjustments at school. We got the diagnosis through a private clinic.

The start of Year 10 would be too late. Lots of schools do some GCSE content in Y9. DC also needs to be here in Y9 to try subjects out so they can decide which GCSEs will work for them. You don't want DC to be dealing wit culture shock/ settling in at the same time as starting Y10.

If you are moving them, do it for the start of Y9 at the latest.

We returned to the UK when my 2 older children were at a similar age. Although the younger one settled & did well, the older one had a very tough time. We had no choice of schools- unless you can afford private? Just ended up where had space, only to find that all the top classes were full & my child again just had to join the classes that had space. Also socially the older child found it very difficult, friendship groups were already formed.

Kids are in private bilingual school but not international school. International schools are expensive, we probably could afford them but not much saving left. My main concern is the British cultural immersion, which won't be the same even if they go to International school.

Not all kids in the UK smoke or drink alcohol. None of my three have, all very studious, and went to state schools. I don’t know what universities are like where you live or what your other options are, but sounds like you have a good life out there and seems a shame to change that. However yes the home fee’s would make a big difference so if you think uni in the UK is the only option then yes move back in time to qualify for home fee’s.

If you can't afford private schools then this is a bad idea on the timescale you propose. It could possibly work if you move here a lot sooner than your suggested timescale of in a couple of years time.

There are some excellent schools in the uk and some terrible ones. The good ones are generally full. The places are allocated for y7 during the preceding winter/spring prior to the autumn start of y7. Your older child has already missed the boat for this and is very unlikely to get a place at a good school. Your younger child will also miss the boat on your timescale. You'd need to be here not long after the start of y6. For your older chilf ccasionally spaces do become available at good schools as obviously fanilies sometimes have no option but to move, but the chances of this happening on a convenient timescale is low.

I wouldn't expect any child to do well in GCSEs if they only start in British education in y10. The first few terms after such a huge change are going to be quite difficult and disrupted. A child needs to be settled and happy in a familiar school before the start of y10 - ideally before the end of y8 though starting in September y9 would be ok if you can be confident that it's a good school. However even with a place at an acceptable school, a late-joiner will usually be automatically in the lowest-abiloty sets for all ability-streamed subjects for at least the first year, so is unlikely to have a great experience.

Do not rely on ofsted ratings to decide whether a school is good, they systems are deeply flawed.

Stay where you are.

I personally think if the thought is in your heads that the kids would benefit some way by having the later stages of their education in the UK, even just the smallest thought- I think you've kind of made the decision 😃

As for being I influenced by drugs alcohol etc, if your child is the sort to be influenced, she will at some stage of her life- be it school, university, travelling- it's unfortunately everywhere, being exposed to what's out there and dangerous at a younger age, can actually also... be extremely beneficial.

Not sure why you’d want “British cultural immersion” for your kids. British culture for kids is not exactly positive these days. If you want your minds immersed in knife crime and social media bullying then by all means come home. If not, stay where you are.

this is something which will be relevant to my family in a few years. DS is 5 and in a local kindergarten but we are moving him to international school next year, it will mean relocating the family home and me commuting with one or two nights in our current home. I don’t rate the state education system here too much pressure and very narrow/ proscriptive. I do see us moving back to the UK in some nebulous future probably for GCSE or A levels and Uni options. But the lifestyle we have here is fantastic, pay, freedom with my employer, places to visit, culture, friendly gentle people and I look at the UK and threads on here about my home country and I wonder if what I would be expecting to replace all of that with is even there anymore.

Also depending on your jobs your DH and you may find difficulty finding employment at the same level and your lifestyle may take a double hit from increased COL and lower salary.

Moving to start in year 10 is a terrible idea. We moved when my brother was in year 10, just from one part of the UK to another so not even the extra stress of an international move, and the stress of moving schools during such an intense high stakes period of education caused his hair to fall out and really messed him up.
If you're going to move you need to do it at least 2 years earlier.

This is why we need Mumsnet than AI - it told me the kids only starts GCSE in Year 10. I had lived in UK but didn't go to schools in UK hence the search. Thank you!

Could you have a few lean years and send them to an international school?

I find they are very very experienced in prepping students to go to college abroad, helping them with applications and knowing the application time tables, as virtually all the kids would be going to the West for post-secondary. It’s expensive but you are getting a good service for your money.

I’m not sure what you mean by ‘global exposure’ do you mean getting in touch with their British roots?

No no guarantee it would work in the UK.
UK state schools are hardly 1:1 comparable to SE Asia bilingual private school.

Speaking as someone who is also in Vietnam, if you can stretch to it at all I would recommend finding an international school that offers IGCSEs and/or A levels. Some of them will offer scholarships if your children are high ability which may make them affordable. Many, if not most, will provide lots of extra support to enable your children to get the best grades possible, and that is highly unlikely to be the case, especially if the only option back in the UK is state.