Move back to UK for kids' education despite having better quality of life where we are?

[littlewillow123]

Our children are now 12 and 9 years old, and we’re considering moving back to the UK when they reach Year 10 & Year 7. We currently live in SE Asia, where we enjoy a comfortable lifestyle, financial security, and strong family connections. However, we’re thinking about relocating so they can study in the UK from GCSEs through A-levels, potentially giving them better career opportunities and deeper cultural immersion.

💡 Key Factors We're Weighing:
✅ UK: Stronger education system, home fee eligibility for university after three years of residency, greater independence for kids, and exposure to a global environment. However, it comes with high living costs and financial sacrifices.

✅ Where we are: Comfortable lifestyle, financial stability, excellent expat community, strong family support, and flexibility. However, the kids may not fully experience UK culture until later.

📌 Additional Considerations:

• Visa is not an issue as we hold dual citizenship.
• We have family in both countries so children will be living near either sides of the family. Although at the moment they are missing out on time with my husband's side of family.
• We can’t afford private schools in the UK, so they would attend state schools.
• My husband (British) grew up in the UK, went to a top grammar school and university, but he is hesitant. From his experience, teenagers in the UK are more rebellious and exposed to alcohol and drugs at an earlier age, while kids in Asia tend not to have similar issue. One of our child has ADHD so this might be something worth considering.
• With the same income, we’ve been able to save significantly more in Vietnam than we could in the UK and still have better quality of life.

🔎 Our Dilemma:
❓ Would moving to the UK at this stage make a big difference for the kids' future? (We prefer to stay but if it's for the children's benefits, we can live in UK for a few years until they both go to uni)

❓ Or is it better to stay where we are and provide global exposure in other ways (e.g., travel, exchange programs, summer schools)?

If you’ve made a similar decision, we’d love to hear your experience! What did you choose, and how did it turn out? Any advice would be greatly appreciated! 🤔✨

They're already in a Cambridge school in VN. So if they stay, they will be able to pay to sit in GCSE / A level. My main aim was more for them to understand the history, culture, nuance, fully integrate, etc... whatever it is to equip them. I don't want them to have the disadvantages I had going to UK as an adult and compete with all the local Brits in job market. But it might be the case that the world is changing so much that going to UK schools does not bring as much benefits as I thought it would.

@littlewillow123 is there not an international school near you where they could study for IB??

@littlewillow123 I'm not sure if you read my reply earlier, but my eldest child really found the move very very tough. We immediately went on a the waitlist for the better school in my area because they were full,but children don’t leave good schools, we never were able to get a space there. You talk about the “golden time”- I’d say you’ve already missed it. If you wanted to move back you should have done it when they were much much younger.

We eat out regularly to nice restaurants, go to the beach every weekend, own a car, have a cleaner, travel quite a bit and still manage to save 40% of the income. They're in bilingual private school. We probably will move them to International school if we decide not to move back to UK.

The education system is a real mess in the UK. Teachers are leaving in droves and having been underfunded for years, the system is on it's knees. I wouldn't come back for the schools.

I would be concerned about getting a year 10 place in a good school. In a lot of areas the best schools will be oversubscribed so you may end up with a place in a struggling scholarship

A colleague of mine moved back to the UK with his 2 kids for similar reasons. The kids were very young when they moved abroad. Having been back for almost 2 years, the kids hate it, want to return and he’s now looking for a job back in that country.

Thanks for sharing your experience. I have assumed that children will be given a place if they're in the catchment area. But sounds like it's not that simple. I've searched the schools around the areas we think we'd move to and most of them are rated between "good" and "outstanding" but people are saying it really depends on the schools. Where do you find good reliable reviews for schools?

We can pay to get them sit in GCSE/ A levels or IB tests where we are. And we can easily get them private tutoring. It's mainly for the cultural experience rather than the qualifications.

Agreed . The bold & billets is a dead giveaway

Chances of getting a place at a good state school in year 10 are negligible. You can't base this whole move around that assumption. I would find a school you're happy with for the one going into Year 7, and accept that you will likely have to pay two years' of private school fees for yr10/11.

Do online school and stay where you are it sounds lovely

Stay put!

Yes it’s even got the same ChatCPT font and symbols. This is getting ridiculous now.

Edit- saw later post from OP explaining she did use it to help her which is fine. Apols for having a go OP - there have been a lot of AI and bots over this site recently.

Neither would I.

If you come to the UK and your children settle, go to university and establish themselves here, whilst you return to live where you do now, you will end up living in different countries, and potentially you’ll find yourself seeing them once a year etc.
is that how you imagined life with adult children?
id struggle with that.

I already explained earlier in the thread. I had a long debate with AI over the pros and cons but still couldn't make up my mind so I took it to mumsnet.

I wouldn't return to the UK. It's a hell hole and knife crime is horrendous.

@littlewillow123 just because you’re in the catchment area doesn’t mean you’ll automatically get a space, you’ll be allocated a space at the closest school with spaces. Everyone in the area will have already have the outstanding schools as their top choice, so they’ll be full & over subscribed. We live 5 mins from one. My children were sent to one much further away that had spaces. There was no choice. It’s not like in the US where if you live in a good zip code you automatically go to that school.

In your situation, this would be a terrible idea! You are very unlikely to get the school places you want, schools are really struggling now anyway, your standard of living will be vastly reduced and don’t underestimate the effects of the terrible weather!

I live near a university city, and the vast majority of students seem to be international anyway, so they won’t stand out.

A class mate of DS’s from his very middle class primary school is now in prison for attempted murder aged 13/14 due to stabbing another teenager over a girl.

I was brought back to the UK for GCSEs and it was a terrible experience. I was bullied for my accent and being ahead academically. I hated every minute of it.

What are the universities like in Vietnam?

I would stay put

That's a good point. I'd rather live near my adult children, but if that makes them happy I'd live with that and travel to see them

You are foreign though. If I moved to Vietnam, I'd still be foreign no matter how long I lived there. I really don't understand this attitude. Foreign isn't a dirty word.

You're placing a lot of stock on the children going to university, but they might not want to, or be able to, or need to.

Unfortunately there is a lot of negativity towards immigration in the UK at the moment (particularly towards "economic migrants" or those seen as coming to put strain on public services). Be aware that it may not be pleasant experience coming here - especially outside London.