Move back to UK for kids' education despite having better quality of life where we are?

[littlewillow123]

Our children are now 12 and 9 years old, and we’re considering moving back to the UK when they reach Year 10 & Year 7. We currently live in SE Asia, where we enjoy a comfortable lifestyle, financial security, and strong family connections. However, we’re thinking about relocating so they can study in the UK from GCSEs through A-levels, potentially giving them better career opportunities and deeper cultural immersion.

💡 Key Factors We're Weighing:
✅ UK: Stronger education system, home fee eligibility for university after three years of residency, greater independence for kids, and exposure to a global environment. However, it comes with high living costs and financial sacrifices.

✅ Where we are: Comfortable lifestyle, financial stability, excellent expat community, strong family support, and flexibility. However, the kids may not fully experience UK culture until later.

📌 Additional Considerations:

• Visa is not an issue as we hold dual citizenship.
• We have family in both countries so children will be living near either sides of the family. Although at the moment they are missing out on time with my husband's side of family.
• We can’t afford private schools in the UK, so they would attend state schools.
• My husband (British) grew up in the UK, went to a top grammar school and university, but he is hesitant. From his experience, teenagers in the UK are more rebellious and exposed to alcohol and drugs at an earlier age, while kids in Asia tend not to have similar issue. One of our child has ADHD so this might be something worth considering.
• With the same income, we’ve been able to save significantly more in Vietnam than we could in the UK and still have better quality of life.

🔎 Our Dilemma:
❓ Would moving to the UK at this stage make a big difference for the kids' future? (We prefer to stay but if it's for the children's benefits, we can live in UK for a few years until they both go to uni)

❓ Or is it better to stay where we are and provide global exposure in other ways (e.g., travel, exchange programs, summer schools)?

If you’ve made a similar decision, we’d love to hear your experience! What did you choose, and how did it turn out? Any advice would be greatly appreciated! 🤔✨

Yup.

what is it that you think will be so good about ‘British culture’ as compared to where you are?

Good points about UK higher education, in addition to schooling, NHS etc; I would read up on this OP, many UK universities are in financial crisis.

I don’t have teens but reading all the comments about drugs, crime etc is just scary :(

I think they are too young to know what they want. They think UK holidays are fun. We moved when they were babies so they haven't had any experience with schools in UK. If we're moving, we will end up in Sutton/ Surrey area (>500k for a very small 3 bedroom house).

Why would you want to immerse your children in a country and the culture that you find dull and depressing?

Your children may never want to live in the UK and may be happy living where they have grown up.

God no. Don't.

My husband had an opportunity to work in Saudi many years ago whilst our 3 children were young. I shut it down immediately stating that we couldn't possibly because of their education etc. BIGGEST MISTAKE I EVER MADE.... stay where you are, enjoy your life and what's best for you. The children will adapt and be just fine.

I immigrated to Scotland from the states in my 20s (almost 20 years ago now!). I had no connection to Scotland before then and have made a whole life for myself here. I now feel more Scottish than America in many ways. Just trying to say your kids have the passports to make their choices when they're older and that's enough. There's no reason to disrupt everything and struggle through just for that reason.

Maybe this expectation is unrealistic - one culture has dominated their entire life to date. It’s not impossible but it would be hard for anyone to transition in to a significantly different culture.

I'm hoping if the children spend sometime there when they're still young and have childhood friends, they might blend in better and have different experience from me.
But you're right. They might find it as depressing as I found it. Especially since you've spent most of their life so far in a tropical beach town with very different lifestyle.

would you consider sending them to boarding school here ?

We returned to the UK from overseas with our children ready for years 7 and 9.
Finding a good British state school and a new house within commuting distance of DH new job wasn’t easy. We would have much preferred to stay overseas with our excellent international school for international school qualifications if that would have been possible.
State school in the UK after international schools was a big shock to the system at that time, as we feared it would be, but they did adjust and manage ok and each went on to British universities. However they both chose to live and work overseas (opposite ends of the globe) after Uni.
I think the move back would be particularly difficult for a SEN child unless you choose private schools. Good luck.

with that budget in that area you won’t be in the catchment area for an outstanding state school. I live in that area and around here you pay £1M and more for 3 bedrooms in the catchment area of the outstanding state secondaries. I wouldn’t move continents for a “good”
one especially not if you are happy and they have a good education where they are.

I think you have a really romanticised idea of the UK OP. As with any country the experience you get on holiday vs the experience of actually living there is completely different.

You say you want your kids to belong, the reality is they will likely be singled out for being different and bullied for it.

There will be no SEN support for your son and he will likely sink under the demands of our high pressure education system.

Then there’s the litany of problems that are particularly prominent in the SE, county lines, knives etc.

I would be staying put. Your kids have their whole lives to come back to the UK if they so choose but I don’t think their teenage years are the best time to do so.

I personally would never move happy children.

I think too much emphasis is placed on education. I attended top private schools, my husband a failing comprehensive. He out earns me 4-1.

International Baccalaureate is every bit as acceptable as GCSE's. Better in fact! Gdt them into an international IB school.

I'm looking at Glyn school and Nonsuch school for girls. I only reply on Ofsted so far. >500K was the cheapest I found on rightmove but it might be unrealistic.

The op is not wanting to pay internationally tuition fees, she wants to pay uk resident uni fees if using a UK uni

if you decide to move here you may find school places difficult. For a child starting year 7 you’d have to have a local address around 10 months before the start of year 7 if you want to use the general year 7 application process (your best chance of getting a place). Otherwise for the prospective year 10 child you’d have to hope there’s a place where you want it when you need it. In popular areas/ schools there may well be a long waiting list and you could be offered a school miles away. It really depends on the area. In many places you couldn’t just move in the August and expect your choice of schools for September.

For Nonsuch your DD needs to do the 11+ assessment to get in at Y7. I don’t know for Y10. People start prepping for 11+ about a year before (some earlier even) and you take it at the beginning of Y6.

The extra tax we're paying living in UK will off set the difference between International and UK fee anyway. So if staying where we are is the better option, we can pay international uni fee if needed to.

My priority is that the children are given the best opportunity. I don't want to miss out the 'golden time' when they could have lived there and get the most out of it. But it seems like I might have had an unrealistic expectation about school life in UK.

It’s unlikely you can just choose your desired school due to wait lists etc.

If you want UK qualifications, search for schools registered with Cambridge International, Pearson or Oxford AQA. IB also works well for UK universities. They definitely exist in Vietnam. Life in the UK is very expensive and schooling is not great at present. It sounds like you're happy with life where you are at present - I think you'd be very unhappy moving here in the present climate.

Just to add a contrasting perspective I think there are parts of UK where drugs and knife crime are not as prevalent. It's not part of our DC teen experience. Does it have to be Sutton/Surrey? I moved back before children after 8 years living abroad and had the same gloomy perspective given to me from UK friends. People here love to be down on the country. Winter is grim weather but life is what you make it!

In your shoes I would stay in Vietnam.

It you are earning an online salary, it is so much easier to cut back on expenses in Vietnam. Food bills should be next to nothing if you don't eat at western restaurants regularly, use scooters instead of cars etc.

This should leave plenty available for international school. Where does most of your salary go now? (For context we live in Vietnam and struggle to spend anything).

Your move was obviously a very long time ago considering you have teen DC. Brits we known to moan etc but the standard of living has objectively decreased massively in the last decade.