To be annoyed about this attempt at splitting the bill

[SpottyPotties]

We went out for a family meal today, which we do maybe 6/7 times a year. Myself, DH and DS (18), DB1, DPs and DB2, SIL and their DC (10 & 15).

When the DC were younger and eating kids meals, we used to split the bill per adult. Everyone has always been more than happy splitting a £6.99 kids meal amongst the adults.

As the DCs are getting older, we have started to split per person, based on who has had an adult meal. As our DC are the eldest, we have led this.

Today, my niece and nephew both had adult meals, a few drinks each and hot chocolates after. DS had a poke bowl which cost less than everyone else’s and a jug of water (his choice - he’s in to the gym and nutrition).

The bill came and DB picked it up and declared we were splitting per adult, so counting my DS as an adult, and not including his DC. I was more than happy to split per person, even though ours would have cost less overall, but I wasn’t happy with having to pay more in total than DB who had an extra person to us.

I said that wasn’t really fair and we did eventually end up splitting per person, but he and SIL were obviously annoyed about it, so AIBU in wanting to split per person, rather than per adult?

DB definitely does not have money worries so this isn’t his reasoning. If he was struggling, I’d be more than happy to put a bit extra in to help him out.

"Not relevant to the topic, but I'm a little surprised that a 10-year-old is able to put away an adult meal, drinks, plus a hot choc!"

Kids can be incredibly wasteful (and greedy) if their parents are not paying attention!

The price of eating out has certainly gone up dramatically since the pandemic. I can't believe the price of desserts now. I saw one for 16 pounds the other day, and it wasn't even anywhere that upscale!

Im not sure why you’re trying to make it about something it’s not?

Probably because I've been bedridden for three days, have slept through most of it and can sleep no more which is why I'm on here, and I'm so jealous of others who were well enough to go out and have a nice time with family after I had to cancel my plans. So in a word, jealousy. That and boredom. So two words, actually. 😆

Well if I order humble pie will you split the bill with me OP yes watching your children order a 2 course meal plus various drinks and make out it’s the same as a child’s meal is the work of a chancer.

Id love to see the death stares from my kids if I dared eat off their plates 🤣 I’m pretty sure I’d lose my fingers.

Sorry to hear that. I hope my tales of my brother being a PITA have entertained you a little.

Jeez just pay for what you eat. Splitting thr bill always leads to this type of thing, for easier tp just buy what you ordered. No more discussion and resentment. Always someone looses with these weird solutions.

Touché. 😆

Of course I’ll split the bill with you. Unless you eat all the pie and expect me to pay for 95% of it 😂

If my child eats the pie you’re paying half. Just so we’re clear 😆

I'd still only be ordering a cola though, that is if you invited me. You probably won't be after tonight 😂

Of course you’re invited. Just so we’re clear, who’s paying for the coke? 😂

Lets Make your brother pay. And we can all get cokes in those glass bottles that cost a fortune 🤣

Good luck with that. Getting his wallet out is clearly not his strong point!

Another vote for paying by family - it's just not worth the family fallout.

I always pay my own bill. It's so much easier because other people so often try to take advantages of you if you are nice.

No, because when you ask for those the bar person invariably gives a sly smile and says "full fat?" which pisses me right off because ( A ) I will have a REGULAR cola if I choose to and ( B ) the very idea of it containing a layer of lard on top makes me want to heave. At least when I use the machine no one judges me.

Yes why do people say “full fat”. Also I’m not an idiot if I wanted Diet Coke I’d have said “Diet Coke please” not “Coke please”

It backfired on me a few weeks ago when at a drive through Maccy-D's I asked for a LARGE regular cola and ended up being given two "full fat" 😫colas, one in a regular sized cup and one in a large cup. I thought it was pricey when I paid though clearly nothing when compared to where OP has been.

YANBU whatsoever op. So refreshing to read an AIBU where the op actually had a backbone and wasn’t afraid to speak up at the time. And well done to the posters who retracted their original sentiments as the thread went on - that’s refreshing too. 🤣
I hope you feel validated by your choice to speak up @SpottyPotties, I would urge you to nip this in the bud for next time too should it happen again.

All this. If only the OP had said in the first post "We're talking £50 a head here" then I wouldn't have been so swift to think "nah, it's family, can you really fall out over a couple of quid each?".

Well done for calling him
out!

I wonder if he s so cheeky as to try the same trick next time!

the single brother really did have it the harshest even though you are trying to say well he buys a bottle of wine (roughly £30) assume he doesn’t drink the full bottle to himself?

Anyway I’m firmly in the vamp of pay for what you have - I don’t want to pay for anyone’s lunch and I don’t want anyone paying for me and my children either!

My own ten year old could, quite happily. When my Mum and I took both boys to Greece last summer, there was a few-not-all-meals package for the week, and DS2's cost 60% of my Mum's - he most definitely ate more than she did!

Bills should be split per family. Just pay for your own.

My 9yo could.

That's all very well in principle, but do you still apply that when one "family" is a single adult and another is a family of six with four teenagers?

Does one party have to be massively subsidised for it to be a joyous occasion?