To be annoyed about this attempt at splitting the bill

[SpottyPotties]

We went out for a family meal today, which we do maybe 6/7 times a year. Myself, DH and DS (18), DB1, DPs and DB2, SIL and their DC (10 & 15).

When the DC were younger and eating kids meals, we used to split the bill per adult. Everyone has always been more than happy splitting a £6.99 kids meal amongst the adults.

As the DCs are getting older, we have started to split per person, based on who has had an adult meal. As our DC are the eldest, we have led this.

Today, my niece and nephew both had adult meals, a few drinks each and hot chocolates after. DS had a poke bowl which cost less than everyone else’s and a jug of water (his choice - he’s in to the gym and nutrition).

The bill came and DB picked it up and declared we were splitting per adult, so counting my DS as an adult, and not including his DC. I was more than happy to split per person, even though ours would have cost less overall, but I wasn’t happy with having to pay more in total than DB who had an extra person to us.

I said that wasn’t really fair and we did eventually end up splitting per person, but he and SIL were obviously annoyed about it, so AIBU in wanting to split per person, rather than per adult?

DB definitely does not have money worries so this isn’t his reasoning. If he was struggling, I’d be more than happy to put a bit extra in to help him out.

How about splitting the food by how many adult meals were ordered, and then agree how many bottles of wine are wanted for the table, and split that bill amongst the wine drinkers, and people drinking beer or other alcoholic drinks, buy their own as and when wanted. As most of us have smart phones it should not be difficult in this day and age to work out those simple equations at the end of the meal, especially if you have jotted down the different items when ordered.

Well how much out of pocket are you, compared to paying as you wished?

Work out how much it is, decide if it's something you can get over or else ask everyone else to reimburse you, and then lay out some new ground rules before the next meal.

If I could afford to pay for however much it was I felt I was being overcharged, I could not bring myself to get worked up about this as a one-off, not with family at any rate. A group of people I don't really know, possibly. But then whenever I eat out with other people, I always establish the protocol beforehand. And by that I mean before we set foot in the restaurant - days before.

@SpottyPotties You pay for what you eat. When you order, you ask that they put your orders on a separate check. Then pay that at the end. I don't understand why anyone would do it any other way? Saves all the arguing at the end.

The natwest calamari advert is a case in point. The idiot who ordered it 'for the table' should pay for it :)

When people are obviously greedy you split by head. Glad you nipped this in the bud. Hopefully they won’t try it again.

Many restaurants won't provide bills that way though.

Though I've no idea what a NatWest calamari advert is!

Just ask for separate bills in future.

Parents never seem to think splitting is unfair when it benefits them!

But you spent years making other people pay for your kids meals. £6.99 isn’t much in isolation but x 2 over and over will add up to at least way more than 2 adult meals.

I can't help but wonder why they didn't all just pay their own bills right from day one.

I agree.

Why didn’t you just pay for your own kids meals OP? It’s not hard to bung £7 onto what you’re paying

I didn’t make anyone pay for my kids meals. My expectation would always be that I would pay for my family. DPs suggested the splitting kids meals and everyone else said they were more than happy with that. DB1 drinks more than everyone else, DF usually has an extra course. DB2 usually has more food and drink that everyone else. I would say on balance, over the years, it has probably been fairly even, but I don’t want DB to start thinking he can go out for half price when everyone else is subbing him for an extra 2 adults.

If it’s 6 meals a year for say 10 years at £7 each that’s £420 per child! I’d never impose that on my family. It’s really not difficult to split a bill minus the kids meals, and add the kids meals to parents portion of the bill

but I don’t want DB to start thinking he can go out for half price when everyone else is subbing him for an extra 2 adults.

Then tell him so.

I noticed that ordering a coke is only about 20p cheaper than a lager or small glass of wine in many places. It doesn’t pay to be a non drinker does it!

I’ve never been to a restaurant that wouldn’t split a bill!

I’m surprised that people would go out with family and have the poor staff taking 4 different orders. I can begin to imagine the hassle of adding drinks on. And how would you start splitting a bottle of wine? Whose bill does that go on?

Our system has always worked for us. I would offer to pay for kids meals and everyone else would say don’t be silly. DB1 would offer to pay extra because he’d had a bottle of wine, and again we’d all say don’t worry about it.

Up until now, everyone has had whatever they’ve wanted whenever we’ve gone out and we’ve all been happy. Until DB wants to palm off half his bill!

Exactly this. The Harvester is my go-to, and that's over £4 for a refill glass of soft drink now...and I rarely have more than one.

But you were allowed to say “No DP it’s just easiest everyone pays for their own kids”.

Theres been arbitrary random rules for years, you can’t really huff when the rules no longer benefit you

I did and we ended up splitting per person. I said that in my op.

They don’t need to take 4 different orders you just ask for a split bill

Like I say you had a system that has benefitted you - from now on just pay per family.

I am not huffing because the rules no longer benefit me. When my DC starting eating adult meals, I paid for them. Now DBs DCs are eating adult meals, I think he should do the same.

I haven't either...I just tell the sever we are two parties of however many it is in each party, and ask that we order our food as such. Wetherspoons is different as you pay at the bar. I also met some ladies for lunch once at a Wagamammas, and they had this thing where everyone somehow paid online for their share of a table...I can't recall exactly how they did it because I only ordered a cola, seeing how I do not eat the type of food they sell in Wagamammas and was not prepared to pay £25 for a dish of something I probably wouldn't like and anyway had already freaked out when I saw the prices to be sociable.

So what is the problem? 🤔

A bottle of coke in Zizzi is £4! A bottle of Peroni is £5. Madness

But how do you split the bill? Surely it must take an absolute age to go through the bill and start adding up how many drinks people had etc

I’m not quibbling about a few quid or a tenner here and there, but I am quibbling about the extra £100 DB should have paid for his DC without initially expecting others to cover it.