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Original poster

Asking guests to travel for a no party wedding?

263 replies

inspector80 · 16/02/2025 00:07

I do wonder if exposing whether I am the guest or bride will change the responses so... I won't just yet.

Asking guests to travel to a wedding, and realistically stay overnight for a no-party wedding, too much?

The wedding is a registry office ceremony, roughly an hours travel time, then ceremony, more travel time of say 20/30 minutes to venue, then very basic reception. A meal and socialising? No entertainment or dj etc after dinner so therefore no dancing.

Should the couple have just had s small family only wedding because of this or guests shouldn't judge what the couple choose to do for their wedding?

OP posts:
VimesandhisCardboardBoots · 16/02/2025 10:12

There is a party though? It just doesn't include dancing and a DJ.

Yeah I'd travel for that in order to see my friends get married and spend time with them. It might end a bit earlier than most weddings but doesn't mean me and DP would have to end the evening there.

Toddlerteaplease · 16/02/2025 10:13

LaineyCee · 16/02/2025 00:15

A meal and socialising sounds great! I don’t think most people are going to weddings because they want to dance. And that’s not much travelling at all. If I were invited to a wedding like this, I’d gladly attend.

Same here. I hate dancing!

AlohaRose · 16/02/2025 10:13

An hour is many people's daily commute! That doesn't count as "travel" for a wedding in my book.

category12 · 16/02/2025 10:14

Sure I'd go. It's scarcely "travelling".

You could drive home after (if you didn't drink) if you didn't want to stay overnight.

SuziQuinto · 16/02/2025 10:15

Beebumble2 · 16/02/2025 10:10

Yes, I’d forgotten about the Going Away outfit. I’ve still got mine, with the wedding dress (1970s) wedding. Sadly both remind me how slender I was!
Fortunately we had quite a large house, so the buffet reception was held at home. We married at 12 noon and left at 6pm, to drive to our Wedding Night hotel, in a car that was decorated and full of confetti. Seems terribly simplistic now.

Show quote history

How lovely! That must have been so special. I'm glad that you still have the outfits. I think it was simpler because people didn't have so much of a disposable income. It didn't seem competitive and wasn't really "an industry". They were always genuinely happy events, though.

AnnaMagnani · 16/02/2025 10:16

My wedding was drinks, ceremony, meal, bit of socializing and DH and I left about 4pm. No dancing as DH would rather die.

Guests thanked us for them being able to get home easily!

Admittedly we have the sort of friends who don't want band/DJ/dancing but it was fine.

I don't think I've ever stayed for the disco at anyone else's wedding either. For me it's the worst bit of a wedding.

Vaxtable · 16/02/2025 10:20

your title implies just a wedding service, but there’s a meal as well

we attended a wedding with just a meal after, all done by 7pm and everybody went home, no problems at all in your case if it’s and hour and a half away for the meal I would go and come home after with no issues

viques · 16/02/2025 10:23

Depends on the meal. Rubber chicken or a goats cheese tartlet frankly wouldn’t get me on a bus to the bus station, let alone travelling into the depths of a wilderness no matter how scintillating the conversation. I might be shallow but I have standards.

Coconutter24 · 16/02/2025 10:24

I thought you were going to say an hours travel for a ceremony then straight back home. There is still a reception after the ceremony with a meal and socialising so I’d go. Are you the bride and you have a guest not wanting to attend?

Mummyratbag · 16/02/2025 10:24

We had a formal meal, then brought in our CD player and played music. We had our first dance and then just chatted to our guests, more food was brought out mid evening .. no DJ or anything. People happily stayed till midnight .. people travelled 8 hours ..no complaints and no regrets.

Codlingmoths · 16/02/2025 10:27

I suppose i don’t understand why you want to make people travel for something ‘very basic’. Couldn’t you just find very basic closer to home?

Kitchensinktoday · 16/02/2025 10:29

So it's an hour to the wedding venue and a further half hour to the reception.
So an hour and a half home.
Is there an alternative to driving for those who need public transport between the venues? That would be my only concern.

I don’t think the bride/groom are obligated the provide a solution for every possible transport scenario?

godmum56 · 16/02/2025 10:30

HeddaGarbled · 16/02/2025 00:16

That’d be a wedding I’d be very happy to attend. Only an hour away, service, meal, bit of a chat, then home in time for a glass of wine in front of the telly.

This precisely, I'd love it.

ChristmasFluff · 16/02/2025 10:32

I've travelled/overnighted to two weddings like this - both registry office and then on to a pub for a meal. One was a meal in a back room for about 30 people and then everyone moved into the pub in the evening to carry on socialising. The other was an exclusive hire of a small pub for about 100 guests and there was a buffet and jukebox and so eventually there was some dancing for those who wanted it.

Really enjoyed both.

Defender90 · 16/02/2025 10:33

Yes, we travelled from Scotland to London for a wedding just like that, it was a lovely day and we made a weekend of it.

TwinklyNight · 16/02/2025 10:35

Don't think so unless the couple were our own kids. Be more likely to go if the resturant was near the reg. office.
Wouldn't mind the no party part or the hour drive there, if that 30 min.to resturant wasnt happening.

JMSA · 16/02/2025 10:37

Sounds fine to me. Maybe not the most memorable, but perfectly acceptable and I would attend if available.

SuziQuinto · 16/02/2025 10:38

JMSA · 16/02/2025 10:37

Sounds fine to me. Maybe not the most memorable, but perfectly acceptable and I would attend if available.

Why wouldn't it be memorable?

Kitchensinktoday · 16/02/2025 10:39

OP, i think you have a fairly clear consensus now. Are you going to reveal if you’re the bride or a guest????

ButIToldYouSoooo · 16/02/2025 10:44

I think it sounds lovely, tbh

Catza · 16/02/2025 10:46

I do an hour travelling just to go to work. It's not like people are asked to fly to Bahamas for an afternoon.

RampantIvy · 16/02/2025 10:49

Codlingmoths · 16/02/2025 10:27

I suppose i don’t understand why you want to make people travel for something ‘very basic’. Couldn’t you just find very basic closer to home?

I wouldn't class an hour as "travelling" to a wedding. Sometimes my commute takes that long.

Phineyj · 16/02/2025 10:57

I'd enjoy that. Shouting over music is so crap for a lot of older (maybe deafer) people!

Unredchat · 16/02/2025 11:10

Kitchensinktoday · 16/02/2025 10:39

OP, i think you have a fairly clear consensus now. Are you going to reveal if you’re the bride or a guest????

Suspect OP is the guest and is a bit disgruntled! I'm not sure a bride would describe her own reception on her special day as "very basic".

Travellingwithacarpetbag · 16/02/2025 11:13

ErrolTheDragon · 16/02/2025 00:14

Just the reception and socialising is fine. Tbh I (and probably a lot of people) honestly prefer this rather than trying to have conversations over a DJ and loud music.

I agree. It’s so annoying to meet people you haven’t seen for ages but be unable to talk without shrieking in their ear because of the LOUD music. And it happens at weddings at the time!

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