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Original poster

Asking guests to travel for a no party wedding?

263 replies

inspector80 · 16/02/2025 00:07

I do wonder if exposing whether I am the guest or bride will change the responses so... I won't just yet.

Asking guests to travel to a wedding, and realistically stay overnight for a no-party wedding, too much?

The wedding is a registry office ceremony, roughly an hours travel time, then ceremony, more travel time of say 20/30 minutes to venue, then very basic reception. A meal and socialising? No entertainment or dj etc after dinner so therefore no dancing.

Should the couple have just had s small family only wedding because of this or guests shouldn't judge what the couple choose to do for their wedding?

OP posts:
Ellmau · 16/02/2025 09:30

Beebumble2 · 16/02/2025 01:29

Years ago most weddings were like this. A church or registry office ceremony then a meal or buffet at a hotel or church hall. Then the bride and groom were sent off on their Honeymoon. If they were driving the car would have old shoes and tin cans attached to it, and ‘Just Married’ written in lipstick on the boot.

Yes, and the bride had a special Going Away Outfit. Guests would wave the couple off as they set off on their honeymoon :)

MrsPositivity1 · 16/02/2025 09:31

I'd definitely go

GRex · 16/02/2025 09:31

Ideal with kids, or for those who want to get home that night. Just an hour doesn't need anyone to stay over, it takes me longer than that to get to the office when I go in. I'd be happy with this.

RatedDoingMagic · 16/02/2025 09:31

A meal and socialising is a party.

SuziQuinto · 16/02/2025 09:32

Ellmau · 16/02/2025 09:30

Yes, and the bride had a special Going Away Outfit. Guests would wave the couple off as they set off on their honeymoon :)

Show quote history

I used to love that! We'd all go out and wave them off, having suitably dressed the car in tin cans and written "Just Married" in shaving foam on the windscreen!
Going Away outfits were special.

Newnameshoos · 16/02/2025 09:36

We had a small, non-party, non-disco wedding. We did have a proper sit down 3 course meal and socialising. Everyone invited knew our plans and still came - most had at least a 3 hour drive, some flew in from Europe. Some people made a week's holiday of the trip and, all in all, we had people around for a week with the wedding in the middle. It acted as a reunion for more than one group of friends!
So yes, people will travel for your wedding! It sounds lovely.

NeedToChangeName · 16/02/2025 09:43

I would happily travel an hour for a wedding, meal and drive home by 11pm ish

But this will depend on the age of your guests and whether they drive / have good public transport. In my 20s I'd have been less keen to take a train and need to stay overnight for an event that finished at 9.30pm

MILLYmo0se · 16/02/2025 09:49

Is the wedding ceremony being held late in the afternoon or why are you assuming people will need to stay overnight? I'd be v happy to attend this wedding if I could come home on the same day ( is the reception 30 minutes in the opposite direction for most guests so 90 minute drive home?), as long as you aren't huffy at anyone that decides not to come I don't see an issue

RentalWoesNotFun · 16/02/2025 09:53

So it's an hour to the wedding venue and a further half hour to the reception.
So an hour and a half home.

Is there an alternative to driving for those who need public transport between the venues? That would be my only concern.

For those with cars it will prob be couples or family / friends groups in a car with one nominated driver so the rest can drink. Might be a bit dear for a taxi for an hour and a half drive so some guests will instead choose to drink and stay. I'd just not drink and go home at a reasonable hour as I imagine some will also do. Seems fine.

Is the registry office particularly beautiful or significant? Just wondering if one venue to do the ceremony and reception might be more convenient?

That's all I would want to consider options for.

The traditional ceremony and breakfast after sound perfect. I'd probably want to check with the hotel that they won't be blaring crap musac in the room or ask if you can plug in your own speakers and play your own quietly in the background. If anyone wants to dance at their tables to background music they can. We did that at one wedding just in a corner. Nobody minded. Those who liked a boogie (and the kids present) did so out of everyone's way. It was a CD player with lots of cds.

saltandvinegarchipsticks · 16/02/2025 09:54

Just the ceremony, no I wouldn’t travel unless close family.
a meal and a get together? Absolutely fine, yes I’d go.

Blueblell · 16/02/2025 09:56

I think a lot of people will actually prefer a meal and socialising. I would!

ExercicenformedeZ · 16/02/2025 09:56

inspector80 · 16/02/2025 00:07

I do wonder if exposing whether I am the guest or bride will change the responses so... I won't just yet.

Asking guests to travel to a wedding, and realistically stay overnight for a no-party wedding, too much?

The wedding is a registry office ceremony, roughly an hours travel time, then ceremony, more travel time of say 20/30 minutes to venue, then very basic reception. A meal and socialising? No entertainment or dj etc after dinner so therefore no dancing.

Should the couple have just had s small family only wedding because of this or guests shouldn't judge what the couple choose to do for their wedding?

As long as food is provided, I wouldn't care about the lack of dancing. If I'm quite honest, I think that a lot of wedding dances are quite forced and naff. I would far rather have a really slap up meal somewhere really nice, and mingle, than have a band or worse, a DJ playing awful music.

RampantIvy · 16/02/2025 09:59

I don't think it is disdain @theleafandnotthetree
I think a lot of people who meet up with extended family and friends at an occasion like a wedding and who they haven't seen for some time just prefer to chat and catch up with each other.

I still enjoy music and dancing, but wouldn't miss it at a wedding.

I think what the OP suggests sounds lovely.

Georgyporky · 16/02/2025 10:01

I'd put the finish time on the invitation, to make it quite clear.

Tagyoureit · 16/02/2025 10:01

Sounds fine to me.

My wedding was very similar, registry office, 10 minute walk to a pub with champagne and canopies on arrival then a 2 course meal with champagne flowing throughout the evening and the wedding cake as dessert.

Everyone was happy and enjoyed themselves and if they didn't, they were polite enough not to say it to my face.

GoldMoon · 16/02/2025 10:02

When we got married , registry, we had very few guests , we took them for a light lunch then did an activity , and then to a restaurant for a meal in the evening .

SuziQuinto · 16/02/2025 10:03

GoldMoon · 16/02/2025 10:02

When we got married , registry, we had very few guests , we took them for a light lunch then did an activity , and then to a restaurant for a meal in the evening .

What was the activity?

MyOhMelody · 16/02/2025 10:03

Sounds lovely! We went to a wedding like this last year, really enjoyed it!

Thisismetooaswell · 16/02/2025 10:06

Meal and socialising sounds perfect - guests can hear themselves speak to each other, not be shouting over a disco

Beebumble2 · 16/02/2025 10:10

Ellmau · 16/02/2025 09:30

Yes, and the bride had a special Going Away Outfit. Guests would wave the couple off as they set off on their honeymoon :)

Show quote history

Yes, I’d forgotten about the Going Away outfit. I’ve still got mine, with the wedding dress (1970s) wedding. Sadly both remind me how slender I was!
Fortunately we had quite a large house, so the buffet reception was held at home. We married at 12 noon and left at 6pm, to drive to our Wedding Night hotel, in a car that was decorated and full of confetti. Seems terribly simplistic now.

Thulpelly · 16/02/2025 10:10

I thought you were going to say the wedding was overseas!

My commute to work is an hour. This is no big deal. Absolutely no ‘need’ to stay overnight. Just don’t go if you don’t want to.

You are being (ridiculous and) reasonable

Devon24 · 16/02/2025 10:11

I really don’t understand what the issue is - an hour is nothing and a DJ is not standard at every wedding. The wedding sounds perfect to me.
I imagine most will simply want to see you married and celebrating your special day, that’s the most important part of the day.

Gratefulforlife66 · 16/02/2025 10:11

A wedding reception is the personal choice of the people getting married. Simply send invites, they don’t HAVE to accept if they feel it’s too far to travel/ too costly etc. if it was my nearest & dearest Freind/family getting married, it wouldn’t matter if they were marrying in a tent I’d be there!! surely it’s about the event itself not a big party with dancing?
I know weddings have become ridiculously expensive and dare I say it, competitive. If a smaller more intimate event is what they want then surely that’s their choice x

zingally · 16/02/2025 10:12

The meal and the socialising is the party.

Not every bride/groom wants the big disco. In fact, of the weddings I've been to, more people have done the type of wedding you describe than the big dance party version.
I certainly wouldn't think anything worse/different of a couple who didn't want the disco.

nahthatsnotforme · 16/02/2025 10:12

This is the only kind of wedding I'd look forward to

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