Would you let your kids give up on some of their GCSEs?

[ElsaLing]

DS (15) has GCSE mocks coming up. He's really struggling in one of his optional subjects, so DH and I basically said he could let that one slide to focus on his other subjects. A few weeks ago he decided to essentially give up on one of his other options as well, and today he told me he's also not going to revise for a third option because he's better off spending his time on more important subjects. And he means for the actual GCSE exams, not just the mocks.

Even if he fails those three subjects, he should still be able to get the marks he needs to do the A Levels he's chosen. DH has no problem with DSs plan to prepare to fail all 3 subjects because none are essential and none are required for the next step of his education (he only needs 5 5s to do A Levels). I want DS to try to pass at least one of these subjects (and would prefer he not give up on any, but prepared to be pragmatic). It's particularly frustrating as he's predicted a 6/7 in at least one of the subjects he wants to give up.

There's no SEN, no MH issues, doesn't seem stressed/overwhelmed.

So, I'm wondering, how relaxed would you be if your DC wanted to basically give up on 3 of their GCSEs?

YABU: It's no big deal, as long as they pass the basics it's fine!
YANBU: I would not 'allow' my teen to prepare to fail 3 GCSE subjects (I appreciate 'allow' is a relative term with teens!)

YANBU.

5 GCSEs isn't great. You always want insurance subjects in case you accidentally bugger up one you thought you were going to do well in. Sick on the day, brain fart, whatever.

Also, giving up on things you could be good at but are a little hard is a really crappy life lesson at 15.

I would much rather 5 excellent passes than 10 below average ones. But having said that, it is his life and his exams, nothing good will come of forcing him to revise in subjects he struggles in. He will resent you if you are overbearing about what he should and shouldn't be doing.
I had a similar situation with my eldest, we talked about it and at the end of the day I gave my advice and let him make the choice. He concentrated on his better subjects and performed brilliantly, but still got a C in the weaker subject.
(This was years ago btw)

I'd suggest he takes six, so he has a back-up option - unless that would actually destroy his health or mean he got less than a 4 in Maths and English Language.

Dropping from ten to eight GCSEs I think would always be worth doing if a child was struggling as some schools only take eight anyway (so nobody would even notice), but going below eight of them on the CV does suggest either failing some or not taking a full load for some reason.

Have you talked with the school about whether it would be better for him to informally or formally drop one or two of them - it might be better to officially withdraw and not sit them than to do no work and have a planned fail, both for the school figures and in case he has to declare the full number taken/resat at any later point. I think I'd press to keep the one that he could get a 6/7 in, as with the others gone it is potentially possible that he might get a 4, and that might be a big help.

Hmmm I agree you cannot make him revise anyway (been there) so there's a limit to what you can do. I would however have a conversation with him stressing:

• There will be things in work that your don’t like that much but have to do
• He has to declare all his GCSEs on uni applications – three grade 1/2 won’t look good
• He chose the subjects so should at least have a reasonable go

I agree that five GCSEs altogether is not great and even if he intends employment post 16 rather than uni, I'm not sure that employers would be that impressed either.

Can you share what the subjects are? Betting (x 1,000) that one is MFL. Will effectively dropping three actually leave him with five – as in, he only does eight now? I agree that the GCSE year is a heavy one but I would be disappointed if a DC with no SEN or other issues was wanting effectively to drop to a half workload (quite a few YP take 10 GCSEs tho 9 is the most common number).

As long as he'll get enough GCSEs for the course he wants to do next I'd let him drop them. I've had a similar conversation with my Y11 child, who needs 4 GCSEs to get onto the course she's chosen at college. Rather than waste time on a GCSE that she's unlikely to pass, I've told her to concentrate on the GCSEs most relevant to the college course.

In my humble opinion, I think the pressure on Y11 students to do so many GCSEs is ridiculous. They're going to be burned out before they even get to the actual exams.

No one looks at GCSE grades ever again so as long as they get what they need for the next step it's fine.

And you think he will manage at A level?

No one looks at GCSE grades ever again so as long as they get what they need for the next step it's fine.

Sorry but that's not true. If you don't have English and maths GCSE and for some roles, science, that can be a real issue in terms of getting employment.

If you want to go to certain unis to do certain courses, they may require a 6 in English or maths. Or they may look at GCSE grades and have a certain requirement (example course: medicine at a lot of unis; example uni: Oxford for a lot of courses).

If the best you can achieve is 5 x grade 5 at GCSE (which is fine btw and more than one of my DC was able to do) then that should be celebrated. But if a YP could gain 8 good passes with some work, then IMO that should be encouraged.

Unless he's in a school that makes them take 12 it's really not good that he plans to give up on 3 GCSEs. They absolutely do get looked at again and 3 grades far lower than the rest is going to send a terrible message about his work ethic. There is also no point in considering 3 academic A levels if he can't cope with 8 GCSEs, regardless of the subjects involved.

I only have 5 GCSEs. Never held me back in terms of A-Levels and getting a degree.

However, I do sometimes think what if I'd sat a few more and done some more science subjects (most of mine are humanities based).

I guess it depends what he wants to do after school. If it's a competitive field like medicine / Dentistry etc then the extra subjects are going to matter. If he plans on studying English or Sociology, not so much (nothing against those subjects but they're easier to get onto that a medicine / dentistry degree).

personally and i know its not my proudest moment, i failed all my gcse, got to college, failed that got on an access course at a university and got a degree, my proudest moment when i graduated.

now i love learning

Thanks for the responses so far! I should clarify that even if he fails the 3 subjects mentioned above, he is still likely to pass 7 other GCSEs (inc Maths, English and sciences). The 5 5s is the requirement for the A Levels he wants to do.

In which case it's fine but taking 8 is better

I don't think it's that he can't cope, just that he feels it's a waste of his time to study for qualifications he has no interest in and that he thinks are of no use to him. I'm a fan of learning for the sake of learning, so am not the most receptive audience for this argument.

His reasoning for ignoring the 3 optional subjects is that he can focus on those that are essential for the A Levels he wants to do. He should do well in English Lang and Lit, Maths and History and should also do fine in the 3 sciences.

He's taking 10 GCSEs and wants to give up on Computer Science, Business and PRE. Computer Science is pretty much a lost cause, not sure about Business, but with some effort he should be able to do well in PRE.

You're right about languages, though, he was not a fan!

Depends entirely on what he hopes to do

I would say it’s fine to drop them. 7 good GCSE grades if including Maths, English and Sciences seems okay to me - in fact funnily enough, that’s exactly what I got and I went on to do A Levels and got a First Class degree (admittedly this was all 20 years ago!) I just didn’t like 2 of the GCSE’s I initially took and got stressed about it, so dropped them long before exams.

To me it just makes sense to focus on the subjects you are better at (or need for employment like Maths and English) rather than wasting valuable studying time on ones you dislike. I understand schools value a “rounded education” but I don’t think that necessarily makes sense when it comes to exam pressure for GCSE. By all means have compulsory lesson subjects, but personally I think it’s unfair to encourage kids to take exams in them if it’s unnecessary for employment prospects or their A Level subjects.

Can he still “properly” drop the subjects at this stage though? - ie. so he’s not registered for the exams and doesn’t have the subjects on his records. It might be more stressful to have to go into an exam knowing you’ll definitely do poorly as you haven’t studied it imo.

I'd probably be okay with the first one- if he's really struggling with it and would take lots of his revision time and still not do well at all, that makes sense. But if he can potentially do well with the others, id encourage him to try.

Privately educated: I stated out doing 12 GCSEs, ended up going 8.

Dropped all the 'nonsense' ones I'd picked to make up the numbers, and got 8 A/Bs in the ones that were left. 3 As at A-Level and a 1st at Uni.

In 20 the years since, I've never been asked for proof of any of it, not have I ever asked for proof of anything when hiring.

So in my experience, probably not worth worrying about 😅

Questions:

What do his school think?
How would he deal with still doing the lessons in the subjects he wants to “drop” He’s unlikely to be able to not participate.

The grades will always be there though, it’s not like he can just forget about those grades. If he applies to Uni those grades will be there and could impact. Or maybe it won’t ever matter. My DD did her GCSE’s last year and I was surprised she had so many (12 GCSE in total, 1 done in year 10). So I wouldn’t want him to drop so many. Is he being lazy or genuinely be spending most of his time studying for the other GCSE’s or does he want to do this so he can have a more relaxed approach to his GCSE’s?

Also although the school may only require 5’s for A level but reality is that A levels are a big jump and he will need to up his game. The fact he is predicted a high grade and wants to give up the subject concerns me, I wouldn’t be impressed with that. He needs to manage his time to revise for more subjects. Maybe look at courses at local colleges too aswell as A levels.

You may find that your decision and school's decision will not align. Your child will still have to.attend the lessons and still be expected to complete the hwk too.

Perhaps encourage him to prioritise rather than drop entirely.

You can empathise with his feelings without endorsing his response/choice.

An open discussion about how much there is to do won't hurt, it's just the truth.

Like others have said, the grades will always be there on his transcript and certificates.
i didn’t get individual gcse certificates and showed the ones I failed.
It said something like:
RE A
biology B
maths C
English B
German E
Physics U

So he can’t really pretend he never took them. Unless the school withdraws him from those subjects

I’m considering this for my dd. She is very dyslexic and extra time isn’t going to be enough to get her through certain exams. Her processing skills and memory are really poor. Also her overriding opinion she’s thick.
I hate our education system.

Yes, if he thinks it’s too much then let him do what he thinks he can cope with. As long as he keeps the essentials you’ve said already then he’ll be fine. And yes, he’ll be fine at A level because he will have a greater interest in his chosen subjects and it’s fewer again. I told my son to do just exactly this as he was getting stressed and art and can’t remember what else it was but it didn’t matter. He would never use it. Didn’t enjoy it. Best decision ever. He done well at A level and had so much more commitment. It also really boosted his MH and his self esteem.