Would you let your kids give up on some of their GCSEs?

[ElsaLing]

DS (15) has GCSE mocks coming up. He's really struggling in one of his optional subjects, so DH and I basically said he could let that one slide to focus on his other subjects. A few weeks ago he decided to essentially give up on one of his other options as well, and today he told me he's also not going to revise for a third option because he's better off spending his time on more important subjects. And he means for the actual GCSE exams, not just the mocks.

Even if he fails those three subjects, he should still be able to get the marks he needs to do the A Levels he's chosen. DH has no problem with DSs plan to prepare to fail all 3 subjects because none are essential and none are required for the next step of his education (he only needs 5 5s to do A Levels). I want DS to try to pass at least one of these subjects (and would prefer he not give up on any, but prepared to be pragmatic). It's particularly frustrating as he's predicted a 6/7 in at least one of the subjects he wants to give up.

There's no SEN, no MH issues, doesn't seem stressed/overwhelmed.

So, I'm wondering, how relaxed would you be if your DC wanted to basically give up on 3 of their GCSEs?

YABU: It's no big deal, as long as they pass the basics it's fine!
YANBU: I would not 'allow' my teen to prepare to fail 3 GCSE subjects (I appreciate 'allow' is a relative term with teens!)

We are in Surrey and all the 6th forms/colleges want 6's for A levels.

I would let them drop one but would probably keep going with the others. I think my DC may have to do that with geography.

It sounds like you allowed an inch with one subject and he’s taken a mile with three. I’d have a serous discussion about which ONE is not getting worked on.

Hi OP, at this point there is little you can do I suspect to influence him into working for the subjects he has decided not to work for.
I would say though that he should be careful not to declare his intentions to give up on these subjects to his teachers, and he should not say that my dad/mum said I can. This will lead to you or hopefully dad, as he is the one who supports this being drawn into dialogue with the school.
Your son is still subject to normal school rules and he needs to be polite and cooperative in all lessons. Teachers are working hard to prepare his peers in those subjects he isn't interested in. It would be selfish of him to disrupt their chances. And the school would punish any disruption which will impact negatively on him just when he needs to focus on his exams.
And make sure he knows he must sit the papers in his discarded subjects and not write anything rude or childish on the papers, this does happen, and exam boards don't like it. And he must fill in his name and exam number so the school isn't subject to an investigation as to why there is no paper when he was present. And yes this also happens. Exams are a serious process.
I work in a secondary school and we have students in year 11 every single year who do as your son is doing, some do so quietly and cause no problems some do things differently and make things hard for themselves and other students.

Teacher here...

10 is a LOT of GCSEs but dropping 3 is excessive.

By all means drop one but he should still put the effort in with the others, just making sure he revises effectively.

Over 12 years of teaching I've seen lots of kids do this to 'concentrate on other subjects'. These are often the kids that also struggle at A Level because it's the attitude of dropping stuff over trying hard. Most schools wouldn't let kids take 10 GCSEs unless they felt they were capable. Most of our pupils do 8 subjects.

I wouldn't mind my teen giving up 1 subject but it would have to be given up properly with approval from the school. There is no point continuing but disengaging so you still have to go to lessons etc - just drop it completely and see if the lesson time can be used as study periods instead.

There's nothing wrong with prioritising subjects.
But at this stage i can't see that they'll let a child just drop a subject. What happensv when it's Monday period one and they should be doing computer science? What does he do? Where does he go? He's suggesting this for three subjects. That's somewhere around 9 school periods a week. Are you suggesting he is mature enough to do self study for 9 lessons a week? Will this be in addition to the work he does at home or will he say I've done it in school so I'm playing on my Xbox or whatever.
A grade 5 is a low grade to be starting an A level.
By all means focus more on the ones he needs but dropping them no way

No way! 5 GCSE’s is weak… and as for preparing to fail? What kind of life lesson is that?? Get a plan in place - more revision- more support from school but MOST importantly the mindset that this is DO-ABLE and your child should try their best. Not their medium.

What a disingenuous and unhelpful comment

GCSEs are hard for a lot of 15/16 year olds.

If they were that easy there wouldn't be threads like this.

@ElsaLing I agree three fails on a GCSE certificate won't look good. Once A levels and a degree has been achieved no-one is interested in GCSEs. However, having a range of good GCSEs does open more doors for further education.

I agree with other posters that if your son is only capable of achieving 5 grade 5s at GCSE are A levels the right choice for him?

I wouldn’t be happy about him just giving up on a subject but sitting it, that’s going to look really poor on his future college/uni application- he will have to declare it

I would speak to the school about him dropping one entirely though and thus not sitting it, my parents did this with me and I wasn’t entered for one of my subjects

it might have changed a lot but business was really quite easy back in the day. Unless he’s totally disinterested in it I’d be encouraging him to keep up with that.

I did 11 GCSEs - struggled in three of them but still got Bs and Cs because I worked at it.
GSCEs are NOT easy, not when you’re doing 8-11 subjects they aren’t, and I still remember them as one of the hardest things even though the level themselves is t necessarily high - it’s the amount of work.
Quite frankly A Levels and a degree ( in subjects I liked and was good at) were a piece of piss in comparison!
So yes, it is hard and it is stressful but allowing your DC to not revise 3 subjects is a LOT.

I did this at school, but under complex circumstances. My school agreed to me dropping all non core subjects as long as I replaced those lessons with core subject lessons.
I had 4 GCSEs and 2 BTECs and I was in immediate need of employment from 16. I did go to college with no problems, and did 2 work apprenticeships.
My college tutor (for apprentices) told on my 2nd apprenticeship that I had to do an additional exam in English and Maths, and IT - because GCSEs only last 5 years and were out of date! (I sat my English GCSE in Year 9 as our school did them earlier then others then) And despite trying extremely hard and putting 3+ hours a day in to Maths I just could not pass it.
I'm also only in my twenties so we aren't talking 20/30 years ago.

The additional exam I did through my apprenticeships was very simple, easy and took about 1 hour. Best of it is, they will be recognised for life like a BTEC. Yet my GCSEs are now apparently worthless should I want to do a new qualification.

Your son is focusing on the ones that matter, I'd perhaps encourage him to keep business because it teaches a lot about how life works with jobs long term but if he can do the course he wants with what he's focusing on he's already learning how to balance work/life/self care which is an important lesson in itself.

And look at it this way, should he change his mind about his vocation in the future, he'll have the opportunity to resit/do different exams to get onto them. So it'll be him having to put the work in then instead.

There doesn't need to be a fail on the certificate, they can withdraw.

As for A-levels, children have a lot of growing up to do, I've seen hundreds of students over the years grow up and get great A level results.

Am I right in thinking you mean "drop" in inverted commas rather than actually dropping them? So he would still be going to all the lessons?

I think it's fine to more or less avoid revising 3 of your subjects, but I would encourage him to still get the most out of the lessons that he can, and do the homework at least for PRE. Lesson time is "free" in that he needs to be in the room anyway, so it's not taking away from other subjects or his leisure time. He might as well try during the lessons. Doing so for 2-3 hours a week is a significant effort, not nothing. Suggest he puts the effort in in lessons but doesn't revise on top, and considers the subjects deprioritised rather than dropped.

I wouldn't let him drop them. You can't force him to revise but also you don't have to encourage it as a sensible strategy.

We have to do lots of things we see as pointless in life, but they often do have a point.

Teaching him it's OK to ditch things that require effort or he can't be arsed with is not going to serve him well in the long run.

If he is genuinely struggling, that's different, but it doesn't sound like he is.

No.

My DD wasn’t happy with one of her options but she’s pushed through and is predicted a great result.

I have brought her up knowing that giving up in life isn’t an option.

No. It wouldn't happen unless it was about low IQ and a real struggle. It wouldn't happen because of a lazy child.

I think it makes sense to target good grades in maths, English and your potential a level choices and focus on those.

But I also think it sounds like he could target 4s in those other subjects without too much effort of he is already predicted a 5/6.

I think in that case he should drop them. 10 GCSES is far too many. I would say get him to still do the one he's getting 6/7 in, but no one needs 10 gcses. Many people only do 7/8. My DS 2 is going into GCSES and he will be doing 10 becsuse he's doing triple science. His MFL teacher is dropping him from Higher French to foundation because of the workload and the fact he has no interest in French or intention of doing it at A Level. I might suggest he does minimal work for RE too!

@CerealPosterHere do you similarly screen out students who have low numbers of GCSEs? How would 5 or 6 good GCSEs stack up against 7 excellent ones and 3 poor?

Sounds as if he has something else in mind for the time he might have spent revising, I doubt that will transfer into the other subjects. Variety is good. He is wrapping you and dh around his fingers, first one subject then suddenly three...If something goes awry on the day with exams in his preferred subjects he is giving himself less leeway. He may have to attend regardless so should at least attempt to pass.

Those who work in uni admissions will be able to advise further but don’t forget that when he applies to uni the only qualifications he will actually have (as opposed to predicated grades) will be his GCSEs. And he will be up against people with 9 or 10, which then begs the question, why doesn’t he?

But anyway, you allowed him
to drop one and now he’s dropped three. Education isn’t just about the grades needed for the next stage. In many countries specialisation doesn’t occur until part way through uni.

If she wants to go to uni she’ll be up against people with more, and that could affect her offers.

I was asked to provide my English and Maths GCSE certificates at 48 for something, despite having a couple of degrees which I wouldn't have been able to do without English and Maths, and I'm not sure that what I achieved 32 years previously necessarily proves anything about my current abilities.

So, I would focus on those rwo, and any subject he wants to take at A-level. I wouldn’t be happy about him giving up on 3, and would encourage him to do some work,but realistically, what can you do? In the end only he can do the work and sit the exams, and if he isn't motivated at all, he just won't.

If it doesn’t impact his a-level choices, then fine. I wouldn’t actively encourage it but it seems he has it planned out so it’s his choice really. If it were going to impact his options later, I’d probably be a bit harsher but it doesn’t sound like it will so I’d leave him to it.

I have been told that unis look at the top8 GCSEs, so dropping below that is not a good idea. If he isn’t struggling (and it reads that way) but just can’t be bothered he needs to change his attitude. No matter what he does in future there will be tasks that seem pointless and boring that you just have to knuckle down and do.

It’s a good life lesson. Sometimes you have to put the hard graft in, even if you don’t want to/ can’t see the point,

I agree that on an application have 7 grades and 3 fails wouldn’t demonstrate he could cope with the rigours of academic uni life.

Have a negotiation - keep the best one and discuss with the school withdrawing from the other 2 (they might agree as low passes don’t look good on their results either). But he will probably have to still attend lessons and would have to be completely non-disruptive.