Would you let your kids give up on some of their GCSEs?

[ElsaLing]

DS (15) has GCSE mocks coming up. He's really struggling in one of his optional subjects, so DH and I basically said he could let that one slide to focus on his other subjects. A few weeks ago he decided to essentially give up on one of his other options as well, and today he told me he's also not going to revise for a third option because he's better off spending his time on more important subjects. And he means for the actual GCSE exams, not just the mocks.

Even if he fails those three subjects, he should still be able to get the marks he needs to do the A Levels he's chosen. DH has no problem with DSs plan to prepare to fail all 3 subjects because none are essential and none are required for the next step of his education (he only needs 5 5s to do A Levels). I want DS to try to pass at least one of these subjects (and would prefer he not give up on any, but prepared to be pragmatic). It's particularly frustrating as he's predicted a 6/7 in at least one of the subjects he wants to give up.

There's no SEN, no MH issues, doesn't seem stressed/overwhelmed.

So, I'm wondering, how relaxed would you be if your DC wanted to basically give up on 3 of their GCSEs?

YABU: It's no big deal, as long as they pass the basics it's fine!
YANBU: I would not 'allow' my teen to prepare to fail 3 GCSE subjects (I appreciate 'allow' is a relative term with teens!)

Only lasts 5 years and is out if date? Never heard of this.
The current MFL specification has been in place since about 2018. The kids in Y11 are the last ones sitting that spec. Not sure about other subjects

@Cupcakes2035 I needed to read this today. Well done indeed and thank you so much for sharing this.

This update has put be solely in the ‘YANBU’ category. It sounds like he’s entirely capable but just can’t be arsed with these topics. There’s plenty of things I have to do every day that I can’t be arsed to do but that’s life and part of growing up, sadly. I think I’d take the stance of ‘tough shit, you’re doing it’ (may be better only said in your own head).

Considering he's on track for a 6/7 in ones he's planning to not bother with, that just sounds like laziness rather than being overwhelmed. My dd essentially stopped working for chemistry as she hated it and found it difficult but school wouldn't let her drop it. So we agreed it was better to focus on getting 7/8s in her best subjects than spend time trying to get a 4 instead of a 3 in Chemistry. Personally I think it would be better to drop a subject completely rather than have a grade 2 or whatever on your certificate but it presents a timetabling problem for schools as they don't have capacity for kids to not be in timetabled lessons.

My dd wrote her name on her history paper and that was all. She's now at uni doing her dream degree. She focused on other subjects and loosing one made no difference

When was that? I failed a lot of my O and A levels but still got into an RG uni (before RG was a thing) - but the educational landscape is absolutely not the same now and I think it’s very misleading to suggest it is.

I genuinely cannot remember the explanation I was given at the time, it was around 2015 so only 10 years ago but probably a lifetime in curriculum! Perhaps it was a change in national curriculum or something.

but the educational landscape is absolutely not the same now and I think it’s very misleading to suggest it is.

I agree.

The "in my day" posts on educational threads are totally irrelevant to today.

There is a big difference between "struggling , unlikely to pass no matter how hard they revise, and other subjects will suffer" and "lost interest, revision is dull, cba to revise and want to spend time gaming/hanging out with mates/gf"

If he is going to do it (and like PP I am not convinced this is a good life lesson...we all have to do stuff we are not so keen on) then please do it officially throught the school. So he is withdrawn rather than failing.

Otherwise it will bring down his GSCE APS. (APS is simply the average GSCE result...you take 10 GSCEs...get 10 x grade 6 and your APS is 6. Take 10 GSCEs and get 7x6 and 3 x1 and your APS is 4.5). Employers/Unis can use the APS when selecting applicants...as it demonstrates those who try hard even for stuff they are not so keen on.

Who would you rather employ/ work with? Someone who sticks with it? Or someone who cherry picks the easiest bits?

The cynic in me says they'll have been awarded funding if you did exams!

Doing 10 GCSEs is normally for most kids. If he can’t manage these, he will find A levels very hard and I would be looking at an alternative. If it is a case of him just not wanting to do all subjects, I would be telling him to suck it up and crack on. Unless there is a disability here, 5 GCSEs is not good.

Unfortunately schools don't usually have any capacity for year 11 students doing self-study and certainly some year 11s would not be trustworthy enough to actually work and not just mess around. Where are they supposed to be doing this self-study? Supervised by whom?

Oh, and Sixth Forms may use APS as their criteria for deciding which student get onto a course if it is oversubscribed. So even if he gets a 9 in chemistry and wants to do chemistry level...if his APS is the lowest on the list of eligible students for that a level, he may be bumped by students 8/9 grades because their APS is higher a d it demonstrates a better tenacity and work ethic

2000' era

I wouldn't have a problem with it if they were struggling with the workload and aiming for 5 5s was a better option for them than revising for all 8 and risking not getting the 5s in core subjects.
But it doesn't sound like that's the situation here if your DS is predicted 6/7s and wants to do A levels.
I would be questioning why he wants to do A levels if he is struggling at gcse? It's not just about academic ability- if he's not enjoying the workload then maybe going down an academic route isn't for him and he should look at different options for next year.
A level is a lot more work than gcse and it's not just about aiming for a 5 because that's all you need to get to be allowed to do the A level, the more you learn at gcse the better foundation you have for A levels and if he just scrapes a 5 he's likely to struggle.

@ElsaLing it depends.
If he is working his butt off and seems to be truly despairing that his hard work isn’t yielding the results that he needs and genuinely thinks that devoting the hours he has spent on eg History could be better spent topping up the hours he gas spent on Maths, then yes. Seems only sensible.

If, however, he could reasonably be putting more hours in, then I think it a way of trying to avoid the anxiety of having loads of work to do and to relieve pressure on himself. As you’ve seen - a slippery slope. Before you know it he’ll have cut his ‘important’ subjects down to English and Maths only, and when he realises that the expectation on his performance in these subjects is now higher, and he still has to face the prospect of hours revision on a Saturday, it will be “Who cares about GCSEs anyway I’m not cut out for academic work”.

If the latter scenario seems more likely, better to address the revision anxiety / procrastination and give him the “its doing your best that matters most, not your grades” talk, to get him going again.

5 5s to do A levels? God, where is that? In our area any DC has to have at least a 6 in any subject they want to do for A level and if they've only managed to pass 5 subjects in total even the state sixth forms wouldn't take them. And tbh, if he's only capable of scraping a 5 in an A level subject at GCSE he's going to struggle to get any kind of decent grade in that subject at A level, because A levels are much harder.

5, or even 6 or 7 GCSEs isn't standard though. It will be obvious he doesn't try very hard.

The idea of GCSEs is a well rounded range of subjects to the same standard. If he ends up with only core subjects to a decent pass level, employers and FE providers will wonder what was done with the extra time any why he isn't capable of anything else.

It shouldn't need two years of study for half a suite of GCSEs unless there are serious issues with learning. Entry requirements for the next step are the specifics. It's expected that there's a variety of other knowledge on offer to supplement, and some indication of work ethic.

It's extremely shortsighted to just give up at this point; even the word 'drop' being used implies complete apathy and inability to show any resilience.

PP are right that grades will still be reported and the statement and certificate will show up the fails.

So 25 years ago.

If there are no other issues , no SEN, mental health issues, anxiety etc I would persuade him to at least try with the other subjects. Just doing the bare minimum when you are capable of doing more is never a good look.
I don't know if he wants to go to university but if so universities do look at GCSEs as they make offers before A level results are out. They give an indication if commitment and work effort.

When you said ok to “dropping” one you opened the gate.
pretty poor decision when he has no sen, and doesn’t seem overly steeesed. Maybe he should actually do some work. Maybe he should have been pushed a bit more for the last year so it wasn’t all about cramming now. He is seriously limiting his life choices by not working hard to achieve the best results he can.

Yes we have dropped a couple so DD15 can focus on the core subjects to get the right grades for her next phase. As long as he gets his English and maths and then the other 5s he needs no one cares after that. Seriously, as someone senior who runs teams in tech and interviews a lot I never look past university qualifications.

He wouldn't put that he failed.

And if you screen for people that have only done 8 GCSEs then you disadvantage pupils that attend disadvantaged schools. Many schools only offer 8.

It actually disgusting if true, and I hope you are found out and disciplined for such an awful unofficial bias.

I think it makes sense to focus more on the subjects you need to do well in. However I wouldn’t encourage him to drop them entirely. I would also double check the requirements for A-level, In my kids school 5 5’s would not be enough to study 3 a-levels and most schools require a 6 in the proposed A-level.