Would you let your kids give up on some of their GCSEs?

[ElsaLing]

DS (15) has GCSE mocks coming up. He's really struggling in one of his optional subjects, so DH and I basically said he could let that one slide to focus on his other subjects. A few weeks ago he decided to essentially give up on one of his other options as well, and today he told me he's also not going to revise for a third option because he's better off spending his time on more important subjects. And he means for the actual GCSE exams, not just the mocks.

Even if he fails those three subjects, he should still be able to get the marks he needs to do the A Levels he's chosen. DH has no problem with DSs plan to prepare to fail all 3 subjects because none are essential and none are required for the next step of his education (he only needs 5 5s to do A Levels). I want DS to try to pass at least one of these subjects (and would prefer he not give up on any, but prepared to be pragmatic). It's particularly frustrating as he's predicted a 6/7 in at least one of the subjects he wants to give up.

There's no SEN, no MH issues, doesn't seem stressed/overwhelmed.

So, I'm wondering, how relaxed would you be if your DC wanted to basically give up on 3 of their GCSEs?

YABU: It's no big deal, as long as they pass the basics it's fine!
YANBU: I would not 'allow' my teen to prepare to fail 3 GCSE subjects (I appreciate 'allow' is a relative term with teens!)

My child had 11 options/ GCSEs at his school. When he chose his options we went for 1 non GCSE to reduce stress, when it came to revision we let R/S and Computer Science slide as well. He came out with 8 good GCSE grades.

Based on the fact you have said he's capable, just a bit lazy, I would say YABU. This won't be a good attitude to carry into the future.

He will still need to be in the classes that he drops. How will the teachers facilitate this?

Very encouraged to read your son's experience of college has been so positive. My DD will be going to our local FE college post-GCSEs to do a vocational course and we're hoping that the college environment will suit her more. She's a summer baby and prone to anxiety and needs time to catch up with her peers in terms of maturity.

I think if your son has no intention of revising for certain subjects it would make more sense to speak to school and see if there is an option to withdraw him from the exams for those subjects. I don't know if this is even an option but I would speak to the head and exams officer at the school to find out.

I'd be more inclined to look at how he is revising and whether it is effective. I'd also want to know what the specific problem is. Is it that he's been lax with revision and know realises he's a lot to do or can't cope. School can help with this if you engage with them.

If applying for certain competitive degrees for example they do look at all your GCSEs not just the core ones and a fail in a subject or a low grade could cost you a place perhaps not to study A-levels but for the degree itself.

On posts like this you always get people saying they've never been asked about GCSE results without any thought that this does not apply to all industries! My dh works in pensions so no doesn't get asked about his. I work in healthcare and every job I have applied for has a section for GCSE results to be entered.

Giving up 3 is huge. Some of our students are giving up one and attending double eg Business/Geography etc if it fits with the option they’ve dropped, but that is after parents coming in to discuss with the head of year + curriculum lead. Unless they’re experiencing huge problems, they aren’t allowed to drop multiples and I don’t think just ‘giving up’ is great. Why couldn’t he get decent results in the majority if he doesn’t have issues? There’s half a million kids sitting GCSEs this year, it’s not great for him to be limiting his future options now.

Not sure how it works in terms of paying for entries but would you be happy if the school asked you to bear any costs involved in withdrawal?

My son was adamant he didn’t want to continue to put any effort into history. I contacted school and the history teacher wasn’t happy, what I was trying to avoid was getting hassled about missing homework etc. She said it reflected on her, which I can see so I sent an email to the head of department basically saying it was a joint decision and a waste of money to put him in for the exam. He was withdrawn from the subject and did extra in his chosen ones. He is now very successful in his chosen career.

@ToffeePennie

he is very excited about having specialised teachers with subject specific knowledge who actually KNOW what they’re teaching,

He may be disappointed as lots of schools struggle to get teachers for certain specialisms.

And I have three ND boys so do get it. We opted for ehcp's and specialist provision for nd children. Two have gone to uni. Right environment makes all the difference.

On reflection, I wish we had asked the school a while ago if he could drop Computer Science entirely, but it's too late now and I don't think they would have gone with it anyway. That way we could have drawn a line under it and have it be distinct from the rest of his classes.

DS does want to go to uni, and I'm sure he's capable of A Level study - he just sees revising for these subjects as a waste of time as he has no interest in them and would rather focus on the more 'important' subjects.

As I said in my OP, I am not happy with this approach, but DH has no problem with it. I had a conventional educational journey (school then uni) but DH's path was more complicated - with fairly disastrous GCSEs (like DS, was capable but not very motivated), then time out of education, before returning to complete level 3 study and go to uni. DH now has an excellent job which pays much more than mine. DS has not mentioned this, but is vaguely aware of it, so it's possible that he has this in the back of his mind.

Then you need to make it very clear to him that the educational climate is very different and it is nigh on impossible to do what I did, for example, and get an EE offer to an RG uni with only 6 O levels.

Your DH needs to understand this too.

You don’t seem to have acknowledged all the posts pointing out that he will be up against kids with 9 or 10 GCSEs when he comes to apply, and will obviously be second to them.

Yes I’ve got a friend who left at 16 but has done well studying via the nhs etc. she always talks about it and lo and behold her own teen who is perfectly bright didn’t work for her GCSEs either. Only thing is it’s not 1993 anymore and the climate is very different. You are not doing these kids any favours.

I agree.

I see so many posters stating "I failed my exams and now I earn £100k" or similar, but the landscape has changed since then, and GCSEs are important.

he just sees revising for these subjects as a waste of time as he has no interest in them

Then he will get a shock when he has to study non optional topics within his A level syllabus and during is degree. Life isn't like that unfortunately.

Yes good post @RampantIvy

Every year at GCSE time various famous folk will post about how they got no qualifications and are now famous (Jeremy Clarkson for example). For sure it is amazing if someone is able to work hard and succeed despite poor exam results; but goodness me, life is a lot easier if you do do well in your GCSEs and A levels.

I cannot understand someone who doesn’t want to do the best they can in all subjects. I wasn’t keen on a couple of my O levels, but I still worked hard and did my best. At least, I can understand someone not wanting to work (goodness knows, I used to teach in a secondary school) but if that person is then saying “Oh but I want to do A levels [which are really challenging] and then a degree [which will also be pretty tough]” then I am a bit baffled by their attitude. Yes, who is to say that they will love every aspect of their A level choices – or even all three choices? and the same at university? and later on at work?

I'd rather not say exactly which A Levels, but they're all humanities/social sciences and for his GCSEs he's likely to get mostly 6/7s and possibly one or two 5s. Now thinking he may fail Computer Science but hopefully scrape a 4 in Business - and he's actually revised PRE twice since our chat yesterday, so he appears to have taken on board our conversation.

Most of our local sixth forms have similar minimum grade requirements to study A Levels, and he should be able to meet them (barring any surprises, which I appreciate can happen).

His older sister struggled with her GCSEs for different reasons, but is now thriving on her A Levels and has received offers from all 5 unis she applied to (including Russell Group).

Hopefully DS is now feeling motivated enough to make more of an effort on his GCSEs.

I agree, I can't imagine not trying my best in an exam. Unfortunately, DS is different - but at least this means there's no crippling anxiety. He's only 15, so will hopefully develop a better work ethic as he matures.

And yes, I realise this current situation should be a learning experience for him in terms of developing his work ethic. We'll have more discussions about it over the coming weeks/months.

Could you send him on a cramming course over the Easter holidays? I did this with my eldest son who was also lazy when it came to subjects he didn't think were important, but wa otherwise a very bright kid capable of getting good grades. There is usually a choice of doing this as a boarder or day child, but either way, they have no choice but to revise and they also get coached in exam technique.

My son never wanted to take a MFL but he had to, he never bothered with German and got a level 2 at GCSE. He was also hopeless at the sciences.
Like most kids he needed 5 5's to get accepted into his schools 6th form. He just made it, history and business 8, eng lit and biology 6, maths 5, eng lang, physics and chemistry 4. He did resit eng lang to get a 6 later on.

His GCSE results were nowhere near as good as were expected, but he went onto get 3 A's and a C at A level, including an A in maths. He got a first with honours for his degree and is on course to get a distinction in his masters.

Some kids really struggle to put a lot of effort into a subject they don't enjoy, I know my son did (he does have ADHD). He found it much easier at A level when he was only studying for subjects he enjoyed, and then it was even better at university when he was studying something that he loves. I certainly have had no worries about his work ethic, he is determined to get the best marks possible.
Given my sons GCSE results, I don't think many people would have predicted his A level and degree results.

Although I didn't actively encourage it, I knew he wasn't putting as much effort into certain subjects at GCSE, luckily he got into his 6th form and has done very well since.