Would you let your kids give up on some of their GCSEs?

[ElsaLing]

DS (15) has GCSE mocks coming up. He's really struggling in one of his optional subjects, so DH and I basically said he could let that one slide to focus on his other subjects. A few weeks ago he decided to essentially give up on one of his other options as well, and today he told me he's also not going to revise for a third option because he's better off spending his time on more important subjects. And he means for the actual GCSE exams, not just the mocks.

Even if he fails those three subjects, he should still be able to get the marks he needs to do the A Levels he's chosen. DH has no problem with DSs plan to prepare to fail all 3 subjects because none are essential and none are required for the next step of his education (he only needs 5 5s to do A Levels). I want DS to try to pass at least one of these subjects (and would prefer he not give up on any, but prepared to be pragmatic). It's particularly frustrating as he's predicted a 6/7 in at least one of the subjects he wants to give up.

There's no SEN, no MH issues, doesn't seem stressed/overwhelmed.

So, I'm wondering, how relaxed would you be if your DC wanted to basically give up on 3 of their GCSEs?

YABU: It's no big deal, as long as they pass the basics it's fine!
YANBU: I would not 'allow' my teen to prepare to fail 3 GCSE subjects (I appreciate 'allow' is a relative term with teens!)

He’s 10!!!!!! By no stretch of the imagination is that old enough to know what he does and doesn’t want to do as an adult. Good lord.

I agree Yr 6 SATs aren’t the be all and end all but you say his school has been failing him since year 3, and yet you’re just allowing that to happen. Why? Why not get a tutor who could not only keep him up to speed but challenge him, stimulate him? Move school?

Instead you seem completely passive and are allowing a child to call the shots. Who’s the parent here?

I cannot force the council to change his school. He has been on the transfer list since reception. I also cannot force the school to teach him properly, despite having weekly emails/meetings and so on.
I/we also cannot afford a private tutor. He has to make do with me, I am an ex-SENDCO, but because I am also “Mum” it doesn’t work very well.
It is clear you do not have an ND child that you fight for every single day.

Thanks again for all the responses! I fell I should re-iterate that there is no suggestion that DS will only be getting 5 GCSEs. This appears to be a misunderstanding based on some poor wording in my OP. He is taking 10 GCSEs, so if he fails 3 then he would end up with 7 (including Maths, both Englishes and all 3 sciences).

I had a chat with him today and think I have convinced him to make more of an effort in PRE and to at least attempt to pass Business.

My daughter is takings hers this summer. I am pushing her with maths, English, science and the courses most relevant for her next steps but I’m not so fussed about some of the ones that are there just because she has to choose something. I’d like her to get passes in everything but I’d like the good grades in the relevant ones.

Right, well, the reason I suggested a tutor was because you mentioned tutoring in secondary if it was needed, which implied you can afford it.

I‘m sorry that your school and the council have been so unhelpful. However, I still assert that no way can a 10 year old know what he wants, especially if he’s had a poor experience of education so far.

My niece is ND, struggled quite a bit academically in primary (though her school were quite good) but going through secondary her interests have definitely veered towards the academic and she wants to do academic rather than vocational choices for A level and I think is starting to aim towards uni. Not something that was really in the cards when she was 10.

I think it’s really important that we enable our children to have as many choices and options open to them as possible.

You are making the assumption here that he will definitely pass the rest

Yes, and I appreciate that is not a given. I have also mentioned this to him, but he and his teachers seem confident he'll pass those 7 subjects.

He needs to knuckle down and get on with it and stop whining. Sorry but really come on.

A child who is finding 8/9 GCSEs too demanding is unlikely to have the sort of academic profile to do well in A Levels.

There are lots of scenarios where it's not unreasonable to reduce numbers of GCSEs, but this would imply to me that he needs to consider other options post 16.

Agree with a PP about Business Studies. DS did it in Year 9 and they basically covered the GCSE curriculum in a year at 13/14.

I think this is a good idea. I told my daughter I supported her taking her foot off the gas with one that she was struggling with but she still got 10 GCSEs.

I wouldn't have supported her doing it with three.

A university will probably look at his GCSE record in addition to his A-Level predictions to decide whether to make the conditional offer, particularly if he's borderline. Deliberately failing a few is a terrible idea. Better to talk to the school and get him to withdraw from the courses properly.
BUT: The average student takes between 8 and 10, so he needs to accept that he's putting himself at a bit of a disadvantage if he only does 7 when he could have done more with a manageable level of effort.

Not give up, no.
But there are 2 subjects dd won't revise as much.
She's not going down a traditionally academic path, like older dd, so as long as she gets what she needs for the next step, I'm happy.
She is SO stressed about gcses... this cohort has been badly let down imo.
Ignored by the DfE for 2 years during covid, then expected to pull it out of the hat in y11.
Dds school has been particularly bad, and I don't think that age results will be what is predicted.

@ElsaLing are you saying the school only requires a grade 5 in subjects chosen for A level? Or a baseline ask of 5 x grade 5s (plus higher grades for A level choices)? If the former, that's quite unusual tbh and would concern me.

For most subjects a 6 would be considered a minimum. For a number of subjects, such as maths, MFL and IMO sciences, a 7 is needed.

Is he likely to gain these kinds of grades? Otherwise I tend to agree that, coupled with his lack of commitment to subjects he chose two years ago, A-levels may not be the best choice for him and another path may be preferable. Is he likely to go on to uni?

He’s capable but lazy? What kind of message are you sending him if you allow him to just drop 3 subjects because he’s not motivated to study and revise?

I think this is a terrible way to start his academic life. If he can’t manage 10 GSCEs, he won’t cope at a-level, when the demand are much greater.

Have the school given you any advice about revision planning? Flash cards and the Leitner system?

Absolutely not. He should be working hard in all subjects. I don't think it sends a good message to.let him walk away from them just because he is finding them hard. Think.about his future and encourage him to persevere and build resilience.

I think it's a good idea to drop 1 or 2 to focus on core subjects, but still sit all the exams, he might still get 5+ on the 2 he has stopped learning in anyway. As long as school is on board, IME they are reluctant to let kids drop GCSES.

You may have already said, but what A levels does he want to do and what are his predictions? You've said 'pass', but I believe that's a 4?

Lots of schools require a 7 to study an A level subject and a combined total from the top 8 results of, say, 50.

Then, highly competitive university courses look at GCSEs to differentiate between students with the required A level predictions so if your prediction meets their standard offer but so do many others, you might not make the cut.

Then, highly competitive university courses look at GCSEs to differentiate between students with the required A level predictions

Would a student who CBA to work for their GCSEs really be applying for highly competitive university courses?

I am aware that young people mature a lot between GCSEs and university, but those who want to apply for competitive courses are usually aware that doing well at GCSE is important.

He may think that because he’s predicted to do well in the subjects he wants to do at A level that’s all that matters.

I think a lot of people don’t know that unis look at GCSE results as well as A level predictions.

I think to suddenly drop 3 is a bit much. Especially if predicted 6/7 in one. Different if one subject is a struggle for him.

My youngest did them during the pandemic, though they were assessed by school (lots of timed assessments). She really struggled keeping up with school work then, due to the school closures and lost a lot of confidence. But she only dropped one subject (of 9) and got a 3 in one subject, so still managed 7 passes.

My middle child had SEN, and he was doing his GCSE preparation year during lockdown. It turned out pretty disastrous, although he got fairly good grades in IT, physics and geography, he didn't pass either maths or English. It was a bit of a blow, but I was really careful about never seeming worried or disappointed. I had prepared for this happening, and we went straight to the local college of FE and enrolled him in a computing NVQ, along with the GCSE retakes. He passed the English the second time around, but had to retake maths again the next year, whilst doing a further qualification in computer networking. He is 19 now and has got the GCSEs he needed, plus two useful qualifications in IT. A-levels and the academic route would never have suited him. It also gave him extra time to mature in a college environment, which he found far more supportive and civilised than school.

My advice would be to give your son the best chance you think he has of a least getting some good grades, there is still plenty of time for him to get any further subjects that he needs, alongside an occupational qualification. Do some research now for what his options are at a local college. ..and please don't fret, he'll pick up on those vibes.

DS did this exact thing. He was struggling mentally and I told him to concentrate on the core subjects and ones he needed for a level. He had no need to 2 of his subjects going forward and they were the optional ones. It made it a lot more manageable for him. I don’t think kids need 10 or so GCSE’s, it’s too much pressure. Of course not all will struggle but if my 2 younger ones find it too much I’d definitely suggest the same.

There are two scenarios really. One where is is not academic at all or has genuine mental health issues and is genuinely struggling. Then maybe better off concentrating on getting English and maths. Almost certainly wouldn’t be up to a level and deserves sympathy.

Second option competent but can’t be arsed wants to do a levels and go to university - suck it up mate.

Mine dropped English Lit rather than optionals. They only actually need Lang and although he was predicted a good grade, the way Lit works requires you to be a certain type of thinker and he isn't. I suggested that taking it would make other, more important, optionals suffer. Told the school (in years 8, 9, 10) they could enter him for the exam but it would be a waste of their money and wouldn't look good on their stats. They argued it until it came to yr11 and doing the entries then went along with it and didn't enter him!