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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Rude husband

179 replies

FrodisCapering · 15/02/2025 15:55

I find my husband so rude.

We are making a plan to take our young kids away next weekend. I was just talking through what we might do on one of the days and he started gazing out of the window because he saw a fucking squirrel. He is often like this. If I start saying something he will interrupt, often second guessing what I am trying to say (incorrectly).

I wasn't droning on either. I'd said about two sentences.

I really starting to dislike him intensely.

OP posts:
Moonlightdust · 30/12/2025 13:34

Sharptonguedwoman · 30/12/2025 09:26

Was he not like this when you married him? I'm not sure I could marry someone who spoke over me consistently.

Show quote history

I was young and not so aware but he did a lot of masking. He doesn’t consistently talk over people but does at times when his brain is running 100 mph.

RanchRat · 30/12/2025 13:50

I hear you Op.
i am afraid there a lot of well lunched posters on here today.

Trotula · 30/12/2025 15:31

Hopefully things have changed since she posted this in February!

LucyLoo1972 · 30/12/2025 17:34

Melancholyflower · 30/12/2025 10:39

@LucyLoo1972 Why on earth have you resurrected a thread from months ago? People start reading without checking the date of the OP, and waste time commenting.

im sorry - I somehow missed that ti was an old post. im not very familiar with Mumsnet

Ragingoverlife · 30/12/2025 21:07

Im just here to add the ADHD comments. What a cliche your hubby is 🤣

Sunnywinterdays1 · 30/12/2025 21:09

FrodisCapering · 15/02/2025 15:55

I find my husband so rude.

We are making a plan to take our young kids away next weekend. I was just talking through what we might do on one of the days and he started gazing out of the window because he saw a fucking squirrel. He is often like this. If I start saying something he will interrupt, often second guessing what I am trying to say (incorrectly).

I wasn't droning on either. I'd said about two sentences.

I really starting to dislike him intensely.

My husband can be really rude as well. Grumpy, miserable not hands on at all, will lie to get people (and our kids) off his back, no i dont know why i married him.

PinkCloudOfHappiness · 30/12/2025 21:23

My first thought was ADHD, but if he is just ignoring you because he’s an insensitive git, that’s not OK. You say you feel lonely in your own home, but don’t want to disrupt your kids, sweetheart they already know you’re miserable.

The thing that made me finally leave my husband was my 11 year old DD saying “how come Daddy is allowed to be rude to mummy, but I’m not allowed to be rude to him?” It made me realise that I was letting her believe that being disrespected was a normal, healthy relationship. Yes, she still wishes we were together, but even she (AuDHD) can see that we are both much happier.

BuildbyNumbere · 30/12/2025 21:34

Ok … so what’s your point? Get rid then.

katyb84 · 30/12/2025 21:47

ItGhoul · 15/02/2025 16:34

So your husband isn’t gazing at you and hanging on your every word all the time and gets distracted by interesting things sometimes. Not that big a deal, surely? He’s a human being and this, in isolation, is a minor fault. And honestly, looking at your responses to people here, I don’t think you’re in a position to call anyone else rude. You sound like rather hard work.

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So she just lay down and accept people being blatantly rude to her , she gives it back and you call her hard work .

Honestly I don’t know why people come here for help it’s rude hostile forum.

gray84 · 30/12/2025 21:50

BurntOrangeAutumn · 15/02/2025 16:07

ADHD?

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I was thinking this too

CrazyCricketLady · 30/12/2025 22:27

Squirrel!!! You'd hate me and my ADHD... he sounds like me!

AChickenNamedDoris · 30/12/2025 22:32

I could have written this! I completely understand how this feels because this is exactly the sort of thing my husband does and it drives me mad! The minute I start talking he gets distracted by something else in the environment or his own thoughts and always interrupts!
Do you think your husband might have ADHD? I'm almost certain mine does, not just because of this but he has several other red flags too. It might be worth looking in to.

ALJT · 30/12/2025 22:36

Sounds like my husband who is diagnosed with attention deficit disorder.

DetectiveDouche · 30/12/2025 22:37

BurntOrangeAutumn · 15/02/2025 16:07

ADHD?

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Yes these are classic symptoms. It's not rudeness either.. it is genuinely really really hard to control for the person with adhd (diagnosed or undiagnosed)

MumsTheWordYouKnow · 30/12/2025 22:37

I see your annoyance, but you sound downright rude yourself the way you’re talking. Go and talk to your husband and do something about it if you’re that angry. People made suggestions of ADHD and you’ve basically dismissed them. How do you know? Also, it sounds like you’ve written him off already. So leave him poor man.

HappyWelsh · 30/12/2025 22:41

@LucyLoo1972 Please ignore! It’s a public thread and you can comment on whatever you please! I do it all the time, mostly without noticing🙈

Phoenixfire1988 · 31/12/2025 01:32

Are you a micromanaging twat maybe he just wants to plan a day without an literary! You clearly dont like each other so why quit while you're ahead?

tuvamoodyson · 31/12/2025 03:34

MudpiesinEssex · 15/02/2025 16:08

New kind of squirrel.

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I thought they were either red or grey…seems there’s a third variety 🤷🏼‍♀️who knew?

RhaenysRocks · 31/12/2025 08:20

Phoenixfire1988 · 31/12/2025 01:32

Are you a micromanaging twat maybe he just wants to plan a day without an literary! You clearly dont like each other so why quit while you're ahead?

What a twatty comment. The H had a specific request re timing. The OP figured out how to make it work and said two sentences communicating how. But yeah, definitely micro managing and should be divorced immediately 🙄

somanythingssolittletime · 31/12/2025 09:07

Have you actually told him this bothers you?

THisbackwithavengeance · 31/12/2025 09:10

Classic ADHD symptoms

Boomer55 · 31/12/2025 09:17

LlamaDharma · 15/02/2025 18:00

They hang from a branch with only the female holding on. If she lets go they're both fucked.

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Oh, I love squirrels, and always stop to watch them, but I didn’t know that. Cheers 👍😂

Bringemout · 31/12/2025 10:03

I don’t have ADHD but I zone out sometimes when DH is discussing things in detail with me. Life feels like endless list tbh.

Usernamenotav · 31/12/2025 10:57

biscuitsandbooks · 15/02/2025 16:26

Are you certain there's no neurodiversity at play?

I only ask as DH and I are both ND and we both have a tendency to behave like this.

Why can't people sometimes just be rude? Why do they have to be neurodiverse.

Also- is this something you just expect people to deal with when you're being rude due to ND or is it something you're working on?

ThisLoftyHam · 31/12/2025 21:03

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