Page 6 | Rude husband

Original poster

FrodisCapering · 23/07/2025 20:48

He doesn't behave ADHD. He manages to focus in work meetings.
I planned the trip. We were there for a short time and my children wanted to see certain things so the itinerary needed to be planned so that everything could be accommodated.
@Fraggeek how fun for you. We weren't just having a random chat though. We are parents and we needed to figure out what needed to be done. Children were 4 and 6 at the time and we had limited opportunity to sort it all out.
Your comment is just plain nasty.

OP posts:

amberisola · 23/07/2025 20:49

My DH does things like this. I'll try to talk to him (normally, not droning on) or ask a simple question that needs a quick yes/no answer, and he'll start faffing around with things, staring into space, or just walk away from me as if I'm not there. It's just one of the ways he shows how little he respects me. We're separating.

Original poster

FrodisCapering · 23/07/2025 21:02

amberisola · 23/07/2025 20:49

My DH does things like this. I'll try to talk to him (normally, not droning on) or ask a simple question that needs a quick yes/no answer, and he'll start faffing around with things, staring into space, or just walk away from me as if I'm not there. It's just one of the ways he shows how little he respects me. We're separating.

Sorry you've gone through this too.

OP posts:

LucyLoo1972 · 29/12/2025 05:47

FrodisCapering · 15/02/2025 15:55

I find my husband so rude.

We are making a plan to take our young kids away next weekend. I was just talking through what we might do on one of the days and he started gazing out of the window because he saw a fucking squirrel. He is often like this. If I start saying something he will interrupt, often second guessing what I am trying to say (incorrectly).

I wasn't droning on either. I'd said about two sentences.

I really starting to dislike him intensely.

he may have ADHD

LucyLoo1972 · 29/12/2025 05:51

FrodisCapering · 15/02/2025 15:55

I find my husband so rude.

We are making a plan to take our young kids away next weekend. I was just talking through what we might do on one of the days and he started gazing out of the window because he saw a fucking squirrel. He is often like this. If I start saying something he will interrupt, often second guessing what I am trying to say (incorrectly).

I wasn't droning on either. I'd said about two sentences.

I really starting to dislike him intensely.

this is very rude but im also realising that my husabnd is very abusive becasue this is the tiniest one of the the stressful and annoying things he does. it was so bad I went into psychosis and lost everything

LucyLoo1972 · 30/12/2025 07:06

sidebirds · 15/02/2025 16:04

You don't sound well matched. Being curious about a squirrel (or "fucking squirrel" as you so pleasantly put it) is a pleasing characteristic.

Edited

I agree - im always noticing things like this and getting distracted although I do have adhd symptoms from CPTSD

Sharptonguedwoman · 30/12/2025 09:22

sometimesmovingforwards · 15/02/2025 16:17

Maybe he was bored.
Do you often crave the spotlight and / or get angry if you’re not in it?

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Oh my goodness. OP has stated that she's said two sentences. Why are you siding with this boorish man?

Sharptonguedwoman · 30/12/2025 09:26

Moonlightdust · 15/02/2025 18:25

My husband does this all the time but he has ADHD. His attention span is so short unless he is hyper focused. He also speaks over people, isn’t aware of social cues. It drives me potty when he never seems to be listening to me but I realise he is not intentionally doing it.

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Was he not like this when you married him? I'm not sure I could marry someone who spoke over me consistently.

Sharptonguedwoman · 30/12/2025 09:29

ashamedtramp · 15/02/2025 16:18

oh gosh... me me me!

Pardon?

Sharptonguedwoman · 30/12/2025 09:34

Crazycatlady79 · 15/02/2025 16:26

I'm not at all suggesting your husband has ADHD or any traits, but as someone with severe, combined ADHD (unmedicated), as do my DC, I live in a reality of being distracted by the slightest thing, be I interested in the conversation or not. And, thus, I have to work my butt off each and every conversation to stay focused.
I'm probably not the best person to answer, but I wonder whether your husband - be he ND OR NT - struggles to stay focused?
If I saw 'a fucking squirrel', I'd find it hard to stay engaged in a conversation, especially if it was something I wasn't particularly interested in hearing.
Sounds like you have a pattern of not feeling listened to, though, as you sound mightily pissed off!

Genuinely don't understand this. Squirrels are extremely common. The movement in the garden might divert a person for a moment but then they surely apologise and ask the speaker to repeat what they said. Simple good manners.
If your ADHD is such a problem, just out of curiosity, why not medication? Are the side effects awful?

Sharptonguedwoman · 30/12/2025 09:35

outerspacepotato · 15/02/2025 16:11

Frankly, sometimes squirrels are more interesting than the conversation.

Yes, I have done the same thing. And I'm not sorry! (So have my kids).

Have I grown up in a parallel universe or is that behaviour not terribly rude?

ilovesooty · 30/12/2025 09:44

I'm sure the OP has addressed this over the last 8 months.

Maray1967 · 30/12/2025 09:55

There are some very strange responses on here. If my DH or I did this to each other we’d rightly pull each other up over it, because it’s rude.

The13thFairy · 30/12/2025 10:02

yassos · 15/02/2025 16:13

OP I would find this rude too.

My DP sometimes does similar – we’ll be having a conversation and he’ll get distracted by a lamppost or a tree or something. Sometimes he just gets up and walks into a different room. I’ll often be engaging in a topic that he initiated. It’s irritating as fuck.

Yassos - your husband walks away while you are actually speaking? A saleswoman once did that to me in Paris, while I was trying in my not-very-good-French to buy some shoes. And your actual husband does this? Blimey.

Imanautumn · 30/12/2025 10:06

BurntOrangeAutumn · 15/02/2025 16:07

ADHD?

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That’s literally what I was thinking.

RainbowBagels · 30/12/2025 10:29

Sharptonguedwoman · 30/12/2025 09:35

Have I grown up in a parallel universe or is that behaviour not terribly rude?

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Not only incredibly rude, but when someone has to organise a trip involving two small children and a train journey, they are just wasting another persons time. OP has to organise everything and, from the sounds of it around his preference to get back home at a certain time and he cant even be bothered to listen for 5 seconds. Next thing people will be saying she should take them on her own, so she has to wrestle 2 kids, to do something that benefits them so he can stare at squirrels in peace. My DH does this sometimes. Now my kids are older I just go off on my own (I sometimes ask if kids want to come with me) but you cant do that with little kids, or shouldn't have to when they have 2 parents.

Sharptonguedwoman · 30/12/2025 10:37

Ketzele · 15/02/2025 17:30

I don't know who let the playground bullies out on this thread, but OP, I'm really sorry people are having fun at the expense of your distress. Maybe abandon this thread and try again in Relationships?

Agreed.

Melancholyflower · 30/12/2025 10:39

@LucyLoo1972 Why on earth have you resurrected a thread from months ago? People start reading without checking the date of the OP, and waste time commenting.

JMSA · 30/12/2025 10:47

OP, YANBU.

Paganpentacle · 30/12/2025 10:52

TouchOfSilverShampoo · 15/02/2025 16:33

Think a lot of responses are from people who are just here for their daily dose of key board warrior escapades.

It's quite clear this isn't a one off conversation where her DH has been rude, but an ongoing issue of shitty behaviour which is making the Op feel ignored, lonely and disrespected.

I get it op - my DH does similar but he IS actually ND - just does my fucking head in when I've listened to his latest half hour speech about shit at work, engage, ask questions. And then I try to offer something about my day and he doesn't even acknowledge it, or changes the topic right back to himself. Or, walks off while I'm talking. Better yet - not even looking up from his phone at whatever shitty YouTube video he is watching.

Fucking exasperating when you're doing all the leg work all the time.

You do know he doesn't choose to be this way?

RhaenysRocks · 30/12/2025 11:17

Imanautumn · 30/12/2025 10:06

That’s literally what I was thinking.

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The OP has said repeatedly that he does not have ADHD. Sone people are just rude and this particular example demonstrates such a common thing of mum working out the necessary details or logistics and dad just zoning out and being defended because logistics are boring. 🙄

AgnesMcDoo · 30/12/2025 11:19

It sounds like you dislike each other - if you get this wound up about a squirrel and he dismisses you

a break and some counselling if you want to make it work

or end it

standtherebicycle · 30/12/2025 11:45

I’ve just read this to my Dp hoping to impress upon him that it IS rude to interrupt someone when they’re talking with “SQUIRREL!!” This happens constantly here. Didn’t have the effect I hoped for I’m afraid, He listened and said ‘well she knows she drones on then if she’s saying that shes answers her own question!’ Sorry.

CalzoneOnLegs · 30/12/2025 11:46

MudpiesinEssex · 15/02/2025 16:08

New kind of squirrel.

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I’ve actually witnessed fucking squirrels

Eta sorry I did not realise this was an old comment 🐿️

SBGM247 · 30/12/2025 11:54

FrodisCapering · 15/02/2025 15:55

I find my husband so rude.

We are making a plan to take our young kids away next weekend. I was just talking through what we might do on one of the days and he started gazing out of the window because he saw a fucking squirrel. He is often like this. If I start saying something he will interrupt, often second guessing what I am trying to say (incorrectly).

I wasn't droning on either. I'd said about two sentences.

I really starting to dislike him intensely.

If people do this to me, I stop talking.