To be dreading the half term because of my daughter's neediness?

[Sacredhandbag]

Tbh not even just the half term, I dread weekends, especially in the winter.

My DD is 7. She is incredibly full on. She talks from the moment she wakes up to the moment she falls asleep. She never stops talking. Even on the rare occasion there's noone else in the room. You can't even cuddle up and watch a movie with her because she fidgits and talks and asks constantly never ending questions.
She wants attention ALL the time. She demands to be played with, in fact she doesn't even demand she just starts playing a game with me against my will. I'll be doing the washing up or something and she comes in and says, "we're playing catch now" and lobs a ball at me and then is like "mummy! You're supposed to catch it! Mummy! Mummy! Mummy! Why aren't you catching it?" Or she'll hand me a doll and tell me I'm the mum and she's the dad and then she'll demand I recite my lines. Doesn't matter if I'm the the middle of something else. If I am sat on the sofa, she will immediately jump on me and demand to be played with.
She also constantly complains. Because home is so tough I try to take her out which is hard when it's so cold and we have a limited budget. I also have an 11yo DS so finding things they both enjoy can be difficult. But when we're out, we will 9/10 come back all of us grumpy and exhausted because she will always find something to complain about and ruin the trip.
And she posseses ZERO patience which means she struggles to learn new things. She can barely read. We try and try to teach her new things to do to entertain her but if she can't get it right first time she throws a huge tantrum and cries and says she can't do anything. She won't keep trying she'll just cry

So AIBU to be at my wit's end with what to do with her this half term? It's not so bad when it's warmer because she plays out with neighbouring kids. But having her home is so hard. She's fun and has a great sense of humour and is incredibly loving but she is SUCH hard work.

Suggestions also welcome.

No it’s not like that if she has ADHD. They wear you down with their unholy persistence.

When Dd was 3 l was falling apart because of her being so demanding. The health visitor intervened, and they a nursery nurse came round one afternoon a week for 3 months ( this was in 2009 when the NHS still worked and Surestart existed) The lovely nursery nurse found her very demanding.

Children cannot do that now to anywhere near the level of a few generations back because we have prioritised motor vehicles over people in our urban areas, so many parents have decided it is too dangerous to allow their children out to play unsupervised.

Is she ND? This sounds very much like my friend's daughter who is 12, and is ASD and ADHD.

No is a complete sentence.

OP you are complaining about your daughter complaining. Listen to yourself. She has needs as a parent give them to her!

she sounds like she has adhd. But no she isn’t a child with additional needs she is just annoying to you. FS what a parent.

Speak to school about getting her assessed - the assessment needs school and home behaviours to be assessed. GP might be able to support the assessment form.

but really show some compassion. And educate your self on adhd in girls.

At seven I would consider setting aside some time every day specifically to play with her …maybe half an hour and explaining that when the time is up you have other things to do and cannot be her entertainment. She needs boundaries.

She sounds like my son who just turned four, it’s a thing called only child syndrome. I am sending him to holiday club this half term and visiting the grandparents

And so does her poor mother

No it isn’t

DD aged about 6 or 7 once talked a paid, experienced babysitter into driving her to a toyshop. Fortunately this was stopped by my neighbour (whose number I'd given the babysitter in case, as we were at a matinée).

Some kids are really persuasive. Mothers/carers are only human.

My DD was very similar. She was diagnosed with ADHD a year ago when she was 12. If it's any consolation, she's still a chatty little thing but is an absolute pleasure to be with.

It isn't "only child" syndrome FFS. My friend has an only, he plays independently with trains for ages. Mine is similar to op's daughter but younger and not quite as intense. My other friend had a 2nd thinking it would make them less demanding as they'd "just play with eachother" and it has not worked out that way at all. My neighbours 2 girls do play really well together though. It's almost as if it's partly down to individual personalities, isn't it?!

Also, op explicitly states she has another child so try at least reading properly before posting bs 🙄

Also, she's not an only child 😂

Sounds like me at that age and I’m now late diagnosed ADHD.

My brain never switches off, I need constant engagement/stimulation.

A few years back my mum admitted to me that as a child I exhausted her and she resented me for it.

I always felt on the outside in my family and at school, struggled/still do to connect with like-minded people.

School are reachers, they are not qualified to identify neurodivergence in children. I’d do your own research and see if ND is a possibility.

My ds was an only only until age 8.

He was the easiest kid ever.

Ohh she isn’t an only child! In that case shove her in the play area with her siblings and tell her to leave you alone it’s quiet time for mummy now!

I'd highly recommend a 'now and next board for her'. So she can see that now it is 'movie' and next, something of her choice like playing catch etc.

Only child syndrome? ADHD ? For God's sake the poor OP has said her daughter does well with structure and holiday clubs and less well at home. She also refers to the cold weather and lack of funds.

Worth actually reading the OP.

There's one brother. 4-5 year age gap depending on birthdays.

It sounds a lot like ADHD to me. Obviously we can’t diagnose as strangers on the internet but the combination of her difficulty with learning and the way she needs constantly interaction or entertainment points that way to me.

My son is 7 and very similar with the neediness and wanting to play all the time. It's very tiring.. I do usually get away with doing jobs for a bit but he will keep asking if I'm done yet etc. Or wind up the dog which he knows annoys me. He's an only child though so I just figured that was the reason 🤷‍♀️

That's exactly how I feel, I'm not going to punish my son for wanting me to play with him. I don't want to reject him (although he wouldn't throw a ball at me.. I would tell him off for that)

Swimming is great, it’s tiring and relaxing. If you can get to a pool. Fingers crossed she’ll have dinner and fall asleep afterwards 🤞

I always use the activity my DD wants to do as a 'motivator' and say, if you do XYZ, then we go to park, or pool etc etc, the opposite works too, if you do not do XYZ then no pool etc and definitely put a timer on towards end of activities. I put a 15 min timer on my phone, then say when timer goes off it's bye bye park or whatever activity she's doing, then remind her at 10, 5, 2 and 1 minutes before the end. Can't argue with an alarm! I find if she's doing something wrong or 'silly', or not doing something I have told her to, Counting down from 5 does the trick to get her into action. Maybe you could try those techniques? 🤷‍♀️

That usually works with my child, but then my DD is Just nearly 4yo. It's so hard though, they have so much more energy, I get exhausted just watching her sometimes 🤦🏼‍♀️😖

She is like my daughter was at that age. ADHD and mild dyslexia. She is exceptional at drama, art, fashion, interior design, cooking, debating, memorising lines with no revision at all, best expression in drama in her year, and she is fully bilingual too (mixed English/ Polish household). Different brains and skills. Enjoy 😉