Kids giving other kids valentines gifts

[Eviemai]

So my DD is 5, she’s in her first year of school and today she has come out of school quite teary. Her class only has 14 kids, 6 girls and 8 boys. Shes very close to 2 of the girls in the class but they all play together.

One of the little girls came out of school today with a rose, a little teddy bear, balloon and some sweets or similar. I joked to her mum “oh someone was popular”. Another little girl followed with a rose and teddy bear. Got chatting to the parents and realised that 4 of the little boys had given valentines gifts and cards to 2 of the girls, 3 to one girl and one to another. The rest of the kids weren’t part of it at all. DD got a little upset saying no one got her a valentines, I took her to the shop and let her pick some sweets and got her some flowers for her room but she still seems sad.

TBH I’m confused as to why this is a thing? Since when did little boys take valentines presents in for little girls? AIBU to think it’s really weird and if it is going to happen it should be done outside of school so no one gets their feelings hurt.

I really don’t like it either OP. My DD in a very small class of (16) and she came out with 3 bags of gifts and not all the girls got gifts, I found it quite baffling. My other DC said there was no exchange in their class which I prefer.

Idiotic practice
School should have banned gift or whatever exchanges in school time

I also think it's bloody stupid OP. There should be a blanket ban on bringing gifts into school for this reason. It's just become a popularity contest for your little girl.

Not that relevant I know but I also roll my eyes at the "Keep away boys. Daddy is my Valentine" t-shifts and baby grows(!) too. Sigh... Let kids be kids!

I was a kid in the early 70s and remember getting a crayoned valentines card with two boiled sweets stuck to it. I had never heard of valentines day at the time, but it wasn't a thing at all.

Thanks everyone, the other thing that makes me feel a little odd is the girl who got 3 gifts happens to be the daughter of the associated senior school head (it’s a private school but the junior school is across the road and has its own head, but everyone knows she’s the daughter of the head across the road and they are very intertwined!). Also I feel it’s no coincidence that the two little blonde girls got gifts and no one else!

I completely missed the memo on this today. I actually thought it was someone's birthday at first but as I walked further in to the school I saw a sea of red envelopes. It was more "Galentines" which is just as ridiculous. DD (6) was disappointed she didn't give or receive a gift. Totally ridiculous if you ask me. I've also noticed lots of Valentine's Day clothes this year.

I'm OK with handmade Valentine's cards, I think. But actual shop-brought presents, which Reception kids aren't getting each other without significant parental involvement (indeed, one suspects active parental instigation) - you just wonder, what are the grown-ups thinking??

That's very weird! Kids used to give out those miniature Valentine's cards and sweets to the whole class when I was in school, but not individual gifts until around year 7.

I'd usually say this was ick and definitely not something I would encourage, butttt my DS8 (who is very quiet and nerdy, and not a 'football' boy, and plays with the girls all the time, and gets picked on a bit by the boys) came home with EIGHT cards from the girls in his class today, some Lego, a Roblox voucher and loads of chocolates 😂 I've never seen anything like it!!!

He was utterly chuffed, and the cards were all beautifully written with girls telling him how kind and helpful he is etc. I thinkkk one of the girls is a bit of a queen bee and has a soft spot for him, and has noticed the boys pick on him, so used her popularity to rally her friends into making DS feel special today, and utterly ignoring all the other boys.

It's made his, and my, day/week/month/year.

So no, let the kids get appreciated by their friends for one day, I'm a big fan of it now!

I've never seen Valentine's Day (which is a load of old nonsense anyway) celebrated by children. It's really odd.

It normally falls in half term thankfully! I had a few kids give each other things but was in the playground after school. There is no way most teachers would let children go giving out presents in school time.

Don't overthink or make it a big deal for your DD though. Such is life!

Teach her she is worth more than a commercial holiday and a card and chocolates doesn't define her worth nor means love! We don't do valentines day. Been married 17 years. Kids have never even thought about it at school. It's a lot of nonsense in my book!

We had this at school in the 80s and it was an all girls school.

my daughter got chocolates from a girl and sweets from a boy today. She is 10. She likes the boy so goes bright red if you mention his name.

Do you like after eights?

My little boy took love heart shaped lollipops in for all of his classmates.

I can't imagine singling someone out on any occasion.

We don't do valentines as a romantic sort of love, we just do it to show we love and we care and also to help foster friendships.

DC at school (reception class) made valentine days cards to whoever they wanted. My DS gave his to another little boy that he's friends with, and received one from a boy he's friends with. Our school is either delightfully anti-heteronormativity, or haven't explained what valentine's day is. I actually had completely forgotten until DS's class teacher said happy valentine's to me this morning.

This happened at my primary school in the 80s.

My 12yo ds used his own money to get his little friend a gift, him and his friends went in to town last weekend together to get stuff, they all swapped them after school. She also got him a card and sweets. We didn't have any input in it at all. Neither of my girls ever got or gave at school.

Hate Valentine's day. It's so commercial. Hubby knows I would appreciate chocolate every day except today. Don't like anyone dictating when you're supposed to show appreciation/love for someone, hiw genuine is that?

We got an email saying that if our kids were bringing Valentine's to give one to the whole class, so no one was left out.

I don’t think romantic encouraged gestures are appropriate for 5yr olds and I would be side eyeing any parent who encouraged it.

My twins are year 2 and there’s never been any gift giving at their schools.

When I was growing up it was only in secondary school.

I got my DD a card and a chocolate rose and mother/daughter matching keyrings. She also got a valentine's card from her female friend.

Some kids got cards and gifts from the opposite sex but I think at that age it's all just innocent fun. Even outside of V day, my DD comes home talking about who was getting married at play time and who is boyfriend and girlfriend.

I'm in the US and my DCs all went to school here.

Exchanging non-romantic Valentines was a thing all through elementary school from age 4 on. The idea came as quite a shock to me when I first encountered it - we never did anything like that in my very jolly hockey sticks primary school in Ireland, where any kind of soppiness or sentimentality was actively discouraged. But it wasn't what I initially thought it was.

The way it worked was that each child brought a card for everyone else in the class, with "From your friend "Child Name"" written on it, but no recipient name.

Back when my kids were in school, you could tape a lollipop or other wrapped candy to your cards. The food police have stamped that out in their old school, I hear, and the kids can now only attach pencils or other boring items. Quite a lot of schools now frown on candy and obv there can be issues with tree nuts and peanuts with some items, so maybe that's for the best, all told.

In the week before Valentine's Day, I remember my DCs decorating brown paper lunchbags (a little wider than airplane sick bags) for their classmates to drop their Valentines into.

You can buy little packs of cards for about $2.99 in supermarkets, dollar stores, etc. The packets have different themes - My Little Pony, Disney movie/ characters, Paw Patrol, Winnie the Pooh, and lots more, suitable for all ages. Some kids make little cards.

The rule is that you give a Valentine to everyone or no-one, no picking and choosing recipients. Even if you don't give any cards, you will still get some.

It was all very sweet, well organised, and simply a gesture of friendship.

High school Valentines were more on romantic lines.

It's quite disturbing that the parents of the class the OP described thought romantic or boy/ girl Valentines were an appropriate way to mark the day. What is wrong with people?

Sensible.

I got my son a big bunch of roses for when he got off the bus, they don't do valentines at his school and his face was so worth it!

Unpopular opinion warning!

As parents, we are raising kids to become adults. This constant need to protect our children's feelings, everyone's a winner, everyone should be included. No they don't! Not allowing them to experience any negative emotions and then teaching them how to manage this is creating a soft society of young adults, crippled by mental health issues because they were protected from all these negative feelings as children by parents who wrapped them in bubble wrap. If we don't teach them how to handle this feeling of rejection appropriately they will turn into adults who can't handle rejection.

Life as an adult is tough, and they will face many negative experiences and feelings of being left out. How on earth will they manage this if you've protected them from it their whole lives.

For the love of God, Please, teach your kids to not give a sh*t and to not rely on others for their happiness....and also how to handle rejection.

We're raising the future generation here people! And I'd rather my kids develop the emotional resilience to deal with this rather than fall to pieces every time they experienced something they didn't like.