Thinking it’s weird for kids to pay parents rent

[User788889]

My friend has a daughter (17) she charges rent. My family did the same to me growing up? Am I the only one who think it’s setting your kids up for failure and greedy to charge your kids for staying in their childhood home. I’d want my kids to be able to afford their own place not make it harder for them. Only thing I would do was pretend to and then give it all back to them…

It is what we are discussing, if kids should pay amd imo unless you're on the breadline then no. It's their home.

If you read the first opening post there is no mention of any of what you are saying. Where does it say about benefits or how much you earn etc?

Actually, no the thread at hand mentioned a 17 year old girl who technically is an adolescent, but not quite an adult. But as someone pointed out earlier, the topic has since evolved.

They've their whole lives to budget.

But the earlier they learn the better don't you think? If they're skipping off to Uni/first flat share/wherever, then surely it would be better if they had a basic grounding of how to prioritise bills over savings/spends. Do you teach your 18-25 year olds about impacts on their credit rating and what missing a bill means wrt that?

And my opnion is that your doing them no favours
Full time working adults csn still save despite msking contribution to their keep most parents will take less than it costs to have another adult living there anyway.

Yes it has evolved so I’m not sure why Janiie thinks the opening post is asking if it’s unreasonable to ask if you have lots of money. You never mentioned that. I do agree with you though that 17 is too young.

Well people then went on to go on about benefits and how much their household income was affected by their kids turning 18?

Sorry, you've lost me. Where have I said the title post asked if it's unreasonable to ask if you have lots of money?

Because it is for some .
But even if a patent doesn't need to take rent ,keep whatever i don't thinks it unreasonable of them to take some there Adult off spring csn still save plenty.

@Janiie A couple of posts ago you stated that we are talking about people with two incomes. So I am wondering who decided that was what ‘we’ are talking about because I see no mention of it in the OP.

I believe that charging rent does not teach kids how to budget at all. At least not by their parents. This, of course, is just in my experience.

A friend of mine was charged rent, same as me. She unfortunately did not find out about a credit score until it came to rent a home and she was shocked to find out her credit score was poor. Why aren’t parents teaching this when it’s such a significant part of our adult life?

My argument is that parents are under the illusion that charging rent or board is a magical fix. You charge rent and suddenly your kid is financially literate. I’m afraid that’s not how it works at all. I would love to know the percentage of adults who actually thrive after paying board to their parents in comparison to their counterpart but I guess that’s tricky to measure. Any stories, please share!

So... What's a reasonable age?

But why? They're not babies. They're old enough to get married, drive cars, have kids of their own etc...

If they're old enough to be responsible for a job , they're old enough to contribute if the parents see fit to ask them.

They're not handing over their entire pay packet...

I charge my son some money because when he’s home my water and heating bills shoot up. It’s no deeper than that for me. He offered in the first place though before I even asked so I’m proud of him for that. To be honest I’d have felt a bit disappointed in his attitude if he had either not offered or complained about it. I feel I have brought him up right because he showed me some integrity.

Well how many posts have referred to those losing UC etc. When does it say anything about that in the op?

How it goes is someone canvases opnions, people then discuss various situations of what they think is ok and what isn't. So, imo if you're broke fine, if you aren't it isn't fine and they should save every penny for their futures. Us being their parents we should support and encourage that.

My point was you were telling us what we are talking about.

You said in thst the only way yoy would charge your kids rent was if you secretly saved it all up for them and gace it back to them
Having mummy secretly save for their adult children doesn't exactly teach them the value of money either it's treating them like a small child.

The likelihood of them having a full time job is not high. School leaving age is 18 and not many decent paid jobs for17 yr olds exist so i don’t think its a particularly realistic situation that a 17 yr old would be earning that much.

Compared to a 60 year old, a 20 year old will seem like a baby. Adults fresh out of school or university are still in the grand scheme of things young, inexperienced, naive and in need of guidance. If I can help them get a foot in the door, why not? That’s not a negative. I know I made some dreadful financial decisions when I was young because I didn’t know better. Luckily they didn’t define my life but they bloody well could have. Spent years rectifying those mistakes and I was one of the ones who paid rent! Whereas having money saved for kids for when they want to buy a car or a house or even if it’s for an emergency is again, not a negative! I learnt the hard way, but it doesn’t mean my kids have to.

Most parents l will try and help their kids in whatever way they can, it's the judging of others who are in a different position to you, whilst being smug about it thst I have a problem with.

You say you have a problem with being smug, not that I've seen any evidence of smugness just different opinions, yet say ''having mummy secretly save for their adult children' which sounds a bit sneery and unpleasant really. So sneers are ok but perceived smugness not ok?

I've just told my ds I'm doing this anyway

So what? What part of them being old enough to work, have children, and drive cars means they're not old enough to contribute in some way?

Help them all you want. Makes no odds.

But to imply it's somehow wrong to ask for a contribution from your children is the problem.

There's nothing wrong with it.