Thinking it’s weird for kids to pay parents rent

[User788889]

My friend has a daughter (17) she charges rent. My family did the same to me growing up? Am I the only one who think it’s setting your kids up for failure and greedy to charge your kids for staying in their childhood home. I’d want my kids to be able to afford their own place not make it harder for them. Only thing I would do was pretend to and then give it all back to them…

Because what's the difference between a 20 year old earning £32k and a 40 year old earning £32k?

What age is the cut off??

Exactly my first job was as a fully qualified nurse and was on s lot more money than some of my much older colleagues
Of course I was expected to contribute.

My son is in his first job but is getting circa £1,900 a month. I think that amount justifies me asking for two hundred a month to contribute to the heating costs (which rise significantly when he is home). My utilities especially rise when he wfh. Teens yes no contribution unless they are working full time on a decent wage (which in all honestly is not very likely). The most realistic scenario is they've graduated uni, returned home, got their first full time job and can contribute.

At 20 they are starting out. They need parental support to get on the property ladder. If that doesn't work and they're still at home in their 30s and 40s obviously you review it.

We've had someone taking money from a 17yr old full-time at college plus working at Asda 26hrs. That seems very unfair imo but each to their own.

They need the means to move out. We're paying the bills anyway.

I wouldn’t ask for money in those specific circumstances, though I am a believer in contributing once in full time work.

A 17 year old who is earning £1000, / month btw they still have (£900 / month to do what they want with hardly unfair
It's not like the poster was taking her 17 year olds meagre paper round money.
And your obsessed with people getting on the property ladder not everyone wants to do that.

We never know when our circumstances change. My DC (particularly the non paying 25 year old) had a privileged childhood. Due to caring responsibilities and recent ill health our income has dropped by 75%). My son just carries on without considering how this effects us.
A small contribution would be appreciated and shows respect.
We have had to cover household expenses through accessing pensions, he carries on saving for his house.
It has changed our opinion of him.
He also eats alot.
We did have a big blow up with him but he's not prepared to move out yet. Hopefully others will have more thoughtful DC. It's been a shock and has upset me greatly.

So... what age is the cut off?

You're suggesting that they should be able to not contribute until at least 30??

'And your obsessed with people getting on the property ladder not everyone wants to do that.'

Surely you want your kids to move out at some stage? Whether rentals or mortgages it does help to have plenty saved.

My nephew's friend earnt £65,000 in his first job at 20.

Poor mite just starting out he was...

Then to go travelling then. Or to start a family. Many people are opting out of this due to the rising costs. I think it’s a bit insensitive for the older generation to not acknowledge how hard it is today for young people. There’s more to life than just working all week for the rest of your life and only going out for one drink every Saturday because that’s all they can afford. Having money offers endless possibilities.

So don’t anyone dare ask their graduate child, who got their first job at Google for $125k pa.

What job was that out of interest?

I worked weekends during sixth form earning around £200 a month and gave parents £40 to help. Still felt like a millionaire with £160 spending money!
Heck my brother used to earn £100 in a paper round each month at 14, and he gave £5.

It's really absolutely fine to ask for a reasonable contribution to costs, even if they're working part time around college.

Poor babies need help... They can't be expected to put £500 over each month as a grown adult...

What about those kids that don’t need to save for a deposit because the parents have already saved and ring fenced that money for them?

I charge my dd keep, and I can afford not to. She’ll also be getting a lump sum for a deposit the same as the rest of her siblings. Even if she stays at home for 10 years, the deposit will be many times the combined amount she has paid me. I don’t profit from her, in fact I reckon she’d have to give me another £200 a month just to cover her food and extra utilities. I am still subsidising her, even without the deposit.

I take money because she’s an adult, and I want her to understand that she has to start behaving more responsibly now, and that wages aren’t merely ‘pocket money’ but actually money that you need to live on.

I'm 51 so I assume quire a bit older than you
It wssent all rainbows. And daffodils when I was young either most of my friends didn't go travelling , contributing a small amount to wards living expenses doesn't mean a person is going to be penniless and can only afford one drink on a Saturday night.

Pretty much the same with my kids. They knew from about 5 or 6 that there was no endless money tree and decisions needed to be made on what they " wanted" to spend money on most.

He was some sort of specialist building engineer, he used to go to big building sites and do... some thing 😂

First jobs don’t automatically mean minimum wage. Not sure why that poster used it as a reason to not ask for a contribution. It’s as if a first time worker must be too sensitive/innocent/fragile to hand a bit of cash over each month.

That was a different economy back then.

I know right.

It's very bizarre that someone has indicated that 30 is the age that they might start to query it.... 😱😱😱

So what?

My niece is 17, working part time and still contributes 10%.

What age is reasonable, in your opinion, to start expecting an adult to contribute?

Exactly both my sister and me moved back home after uni ,her as a qualified teacher and me as fully trained nurse ,I was earning around £900/ month this was mid 90,s I gave my parents £130/ month and still had loads of money to myself

Odd advice from someone who started a thread to call parents who ask for contributions as 'weird'. You're obviously carrying around a lot of bitterness about being expected to pay your own way and are projecting that onto other people who are not your parents and will have entirely different circumstances to yours. Why not take your own advice and accept there are different opinions rather than trying to convince people yours is the right one? If you want to excorcise your own feelings of being hard done to by doing something different with your DC, go at it. You don't need to try to make other people feel bad in the process.

So let's ask about a hypothetical reversal here, if you were to move in with your children in old age, would you expect them to charge you rent from whatever pension you get?