Thinking it’s weird for kids to pay parents rent

[User788889]

My friend has a daughter (17) she charges rent. My family did the same to me growing up? Am I the only one who think it’s setting your kids up for failure and greedy to charge your kids for staying in their childhood home. I’d want my kids to be able to afford their own place not make it harder for them. Only thing I would do was pretend to and then give it all back to them…

I have a rough idea but I’ll let you know ;)

Mt friend thought she was fine. Her husband had an accident that disabled him. They had to spend all savings and sell the house for his care.

You have no idea.

Oh but she does.. she knows everything! She knows much more than seasoned parents and people who have lived on the planet much longer than she has.

When I had my kids I was in a pretty good financial position too two working parent household owned my home etc
We didn't know that my baby would be severely autistic, and at 14 has very complex needs and will never be independent etc i had ti give up work to be his carer
I would never wish that on anyone
But you can never be 100% certain that life will turn out how you think it will ,accidents, critical illness, sudden deaths, divorce, s,bankruptcy, happen to people often through no fault of their and your perfect little life could be turned on its head in a single moment .

It's a chat forum, people canvas opinions then a debate ensues with points both agreeing or disagreeing. It is fine to have opposing views, try not to get so angry all the time.

I had a Saturday job when in 6th form so this teaches you about finances

Oh I’m not angry; I just simply despise those who look down on others and think they are better. As you said; it’s a forum where opinions can be expressed 😌

Simply being older has nothing to do with experience though.

Yes but that 18 year old will need more money than their parents did for a house deposit, and for car insurance. It is not a level playing field.

Why shouldn't an adult contribute to a household they're living in?

Your assuming the parents own their own home and have a car.

Which is great. It's perfectly fine to not charge rent. It's perfectly fine to pay their way through Uni, and cover all their costs whilst they earn 50k and live at home before you buy them their own house. People should do what their finances allow if it makes them happy.

It's also fine to realise once you loose their CB etc you can't afford to feed them and expect them as adults to contribute. Or to be killing yourself in fulltime work to provide everything for your adult kids who spend it all on crap and to think "enough". Or to believe it teaches the value of money for them to understand the cost of adulthood. Or to pretend to charge and save it all. Or to pretend to charge and save it all and then have an emergency and have to spend it.
There's more than one way to parent well. You're looking at it from you child-self perspective who didn't feel they should have to pay.

Oh but it does. Your kids aren’t enough old enough to express an opinion yet. You have no idea what they may become, what they will want to do with their lives; if they’ll encounter any difficulties with their health. When our kids were babies and we looked at them with pure love, don’t you also think we wanted nothing but the best for them? Life has a funny way of humbling people. Maybe you’ll look back in years to come and remember this post and think to yourself ‘wow, what a judgmental I was’.

G’day.

No, I'm hoping the child might be allowed the chance to do so though.

No one’s life is perfect. Money does not equate to perfect either. But going off your argument, one day our kids will have to deal with all of which you just mentioned too. In that case, saving money when they are younger is crucial. That’s why I won’t charge my kids rent.

Not everyone csn afford to save whilst their kids are younger often due to unforseen circumstances because of life events that can't be.predicted it's all very well sitting in your little bubble thinking it won't happen to me that's whst everyone thinks untill sometimes it does..

Wanted or want? As you are talking in past tense, you are expressing some regret about something and therefore projecting it on me. Wishing misfortunes on others is a perfect example of misery loves company. Mentioning their health is pure evil. You talk about this older generation being so wise yet if you are their representative I will definitely not be looking to my elders. Spiteful comment. You need to spend less time on mumsnet and focus on why you’re so regretful. Pretty sure I can figure out why.

And yet your the one who started this smug judgemental thread with seemingly no idea that people live very different lives to you.

As a teen in the 1980s during 6th form I paid my mum a third of my part time wages. This was fairly normal amongst my friends at the time, I was happy to do it. Mind you I got a full maintenance grant for my uni course and back then there were not tuition fees. I had no debt when I started a full time job at 21, as I worked most uni holidays full time. My kids are now late teen / early 20s and I don't charge them rent, as at the moment I don't need the money as I'm working and I don't want to add to their student debt. They both get jobs when they can. I would start charging them in a few years if they are earning well and still at home, by then I will probably have retired and am likely to need the money. So it depends on the circumstances though I see nothing at all wrong with asking adults to contribute to their bed and board.

Get over yourself. She didn’t wish bad health on your kids.

She said, quite rightly, that anything can happen and she’s right.

I got cancer, I lost my business and indirectly my marriage. Now I’m where I am.

I don’t wish you to fall on your smug arse, but if you do you may find life a little different.

Wait what? And yes, about 17 year old paying rent. Literally a child. Nothing wrong with that to you of course. You’d have them paying from 13 if you had your way. Let’s just agree to disagree.

Umm.. where have I wished ill health on anyone? Where have I put spiteful comments? I clearly stated you do not know what holds for the future and within that I included health. That goes for anybody’s child. Nobody knows if life will take a curve ball. I also said life has a way of humbling people. You clearly think that life is plain sailing.. so off you trot. Nobody can reason with somebody like you who thinks they know it all.

Oh and wanted / want.. same difference. That was for all the posts I have read and not directly referring to myself.

Thank you. As you said, she started this thread and can’t handle the criticism or heat and now projecting.

PS I really hope life is better for you now x

I’m sorry for your diagnosis. I wish you nothing but good health.

Has this thread gone around in circles? Some people physically can't afford to not charge board once their child benefits run out.