Page 22 | Thinking it’s weird for kids to pay parents rent

User788889 · 2025-02-14T10:31:44+00:00

My friend has a daughter (17) she charges rent. My family did the same to me growing up? Am I the only one who think it’s setting your kids up for failure and greedy to charge your kids for staying in their childhood home. I’d want my kids to be able to afford their own place not make it harder for them. Only thing I would do was pretend to and then give it all back to them…

Original poster

User788889 · 15/02/2025 13:56

abracadabra1980 · 14/02/2025 22:37

I agree with you 100%. Whilst I agree kids need to be educated how to budget and save, gone are the days that they could leave home at 16 and move straight into a flat then into a family home within a few years.
My DC have been taught how to budget over the years with their own pocket money and £ gifted. Also when older about HTB mortgages and pensions. Older again and about stocks, shares, and bonds. They worked extremely hard at Uni and I didn't expect a penny from them afterwards. They didn't ask to be born and charging them board in this climate wasn't for me, I much preferred them to save wisely, which they did.
If I had been on my knees financially however, we'd have had a chat to see how they could help.
My own parents charged me the princely sum of £15 per month, and I bought my first flat, age 24, on a junior admin wage. I feel so angry about how difficult things are for young people these days

I think this way as well. Emphasis on the they didn’t ask to be born. We bring our kids into a tough world technically it is our responsibility to give them the best possible outcome. But I also agree that there is a huge need for more financial education- whether that be at school or at home.

OP posts:

Shitshower · 15/02/2025 14:00

Janiie · 15/02/2025 11:11

I thought CMS payments continued whilst in full time education? You'll still get it while she is at 6th form. You mention UC so must be in the UK.

Also, she would get full maintenence loan if she went to uni and with a parttime job, like many/most have, she would manage. Please don't discourage her by saying you can't afford for her to go.

The cut off point would surely be once earning more than minimum wage. At least give them chance to get out of their teens first before asking for money. Let them save for their future accommodation.

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Oh my god! Don’t you dare tell me I am discouraging her from going because I can’t afford it. Don’t you bloody dare!

Firstly, she leaves in July, she is in 6th form and leaves at the end of this school year. Secondly, CMS DOES NOT continue at Uni, thirdly, even with a loan it is not enough to finance her.

You preach from a place of financial comfort and you have really annoyed me.

Autther · 15/02/2025 14:02

If you're can't afford for them to live with you without their contributions then fine but acting like it's for their own benefit and teaches them life skills is insincere. Unless you can evidence that those with parents who don't charge them rent are all lazy useless feckers then it's not really a valuable argument. There are loads of ways to teach good money habits without charging your children to live in their family home. Me and my siblings were never charged rent and we have somehow all turned out as well functioning adults with mortgages and jobs

Original poster

User788889 · 15/02/2025 14:07

Emmz1510 · 15/02/2025 09:30

No it’s not weird, and it sounds a bit privileged and naive to say that it is.
If they are earning and not in education then they should be paying something towards living costs.

Not really though. That kid didn’t ask to be born. Let them at least get on the property ladder. It’s proven that people who rent are 75% more likely to experience anxiety or depression. You’re making your kids struggle for no reason not helping them when parents chose to have them. And yes, everything is a choice. You gotta sacrifice some things for your kids once you choose to have them. A lot of these responses just seem selfish no offence. Teaching them responsibility; you can do that and still give them their money back to start their life which you chose for them to have. Starting a life based on struggle is sad.

OP posts:

Anonym00se · 15/02/2025 14:16

User788889 · 15/02/2025 13:56

I think this way as well. Emphasis on the they didn’t ask to be born. We bring our kids into a tough world technically it is our responsibility to give them the best possible outcome. But I also agree that there is a huge need for more financial education- whether that be at school or at home.

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I didn’t ask to be born either. Should my Mum still be paying my household bills?

At what age do you think we should be responsible for paying for the food we eat?

Shitshower · 15/02/2025 14:20

Janiie · 15/02/2025 11:37

I know that when kids are at school/college we pay for stuff, no? Their clothes <cba to list again> etc. So when they have a job they then pay for all the stuff we use to, it balances out. Except people who apparently lose £600 a month once their dc turns 18. Most of us lose CB but then aren't forking out a tenner a day for activities and food.

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And don’t bloody “apparently” about what I have said.

I know my finances and you, funnily enough do not

MrsSkylerWhite · 15/02/2025 14:26

suburburban · Yesterday 14:05

Lucelady · Yesterday 13:58
My DS (25) earns more than his father but refuses to pay rent. He moved back in to save and has become very entitled. Hopefully he's moving out soon. We'll be downsizing!
His sister is a student and is prevented from working by her University. She sells art online. She's very low need.
**
I wouldn't let him get away with that tbh.
The doors that way

This ^ Why the hell do you tolerate that?

Izzybusy23 · 15/02/2025 14:33

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RadStag · 15/02/2025 14:34

User788889 · 15/02/2025 13:56

I think this way as well. Emphasis on the they didn’t ask to be born. We bring our kids into a tough world technically it is our responsibility to give them the best possible outcome. But I also agree that there is a huge need for more financial education- whether that be at school or at home.

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It is.

However, you have to acknowledge that some people just cannot afford to keep their adult children in the home.

We'd all love to make things easy
But snow plough parenting isn't ideal. So this people who choose to charge, aren't wrong. They aren't greedy. They're doing what they think is best for their children.

Izzybusy23 · 15/02/2025 14:43

ExercicenformedeZ · 14/02/2025 16:31

I don't want kids. I'm 42. If I had done, though, I can't imagine I would charge them rent to live in their own home. I would possibly charge them below market rate to live in a second home (I'm a LL anyway)
Where I am from, it would be unheard of to charge kids rent. I didn't live with my parents for that long anyway, but even if I had, they wouldn't have charged me.

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Then with all due respect why the hell are you on a forum called ‘mumsnet’

How about stick to the subjects you have knowledge of?

x2boys · 15/02/2025 14:47

I think some posters need to take their heads out of their privileged backsides and at least try and and understand that not everyone has a much money as them and are able to subsidise full time working adults

Izzybusy23 · 15/02/2025 14:47

Obeseandashamed · 14/02/2025 16:48

YANBU... it is weird. If I was a struggling parent, I wouldn't charge rent but hope that I'd have brought my child up in a way where they would themselves pick up some financial burden in an indirect way. Whether that was doing the weekly shop for the household or taking on DIY/maintenance roles in the house that would ordinarily cost money.

Absolute BS.. you are just virtue signalling.

BunnyLake · 15/02/2025 14:53

User788889 · 15/02/2025 14:07

Not really though. That kid didn’t ask to be born. Let them at least get on the property ladder. It’s proven that people who rent are 75% more likely to experience anxiety or depression. You’re making your kids struggle for no reason not helping them when parents chose to have them. And yes, everything is a choice. You gotta sacrifice some things for your kids once you choose to have them. A lot of these responses just seem selfish no offence. Teaching them responsibility; you can do that and still give them their money back to start their life which you chose for them to have. Starting a life based on struggle is sad.

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No one ever on this earth asked to be born.

Asking your 17 year old for keep is a bit much (unless they're a millionaire youtuber) but asking your 22 yr old is perfectly reasonable. It all depends what fraction of their earnings you asking for as a contribution. The amount I ask my son for is just under 10% of his monthly salary. That cannot be unreasonable or unfair in anyone's books.

Serpentstooth · 15/02/2025 14:56

One grandson has well paid job in FS, the other at Uni. Working grandson pays rent which parents are saving on his behalf, unknown to him. Will go towards deposit for home eventually. But if parents are struggling, of course a working child should contribute to costs. Good for all concerned.

Janiie · 15/02/2025 15:00

x2boys · 15/02/2025 14:47

I think some posters need to take their heads out of their privileged backsides and at least try and and understand that not everyone has a much money as them and are able to subsidise full time working adults

Maybe we aren't privileged just manage our money to cover our bills so teens can save for their future.

x2boys · 15/02/2025 15:09

Janiie · 15/02/2025 15:00

Maybe we aren't privileged just manage our money to cover our bills so teens can save for their future.

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If you csn afford to let full grown adults live at home rent free then yes you are privileged, the fact you can't see this is and can't even attempt to understand other people ,s circumstances are different from yours just makes that more so.

Janiie · 15/02/2025 15:18

x2boys · 15/02/2025 15:09

If you csn afford to let full grown adults live at home rent free then yes you are privileged, the fact you can't see this is and can't even attempt to understand other people ,s circumstances are different from yours just makes that more so.

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They will pay for all the things parents used to pay for, clothes etc once earning. The bills will be paid with or without them living at home. They will then save enough to buy their own places, that is what parents should be encouraging. To charge teens earning peanuts rent is wrong imo but you do you.

Izzybusy23 · 15/02/2025 15:23

Janiie · 15/02/2025 11:11

I thought CMS payments continued whilst in full time education? You'll still get it while she is at 6th form. You mention UC so must be in the UK.

Also, she would get full maintenence loan if she went to uni and with a parttime job, like many/most have, she would manage. Please don't discourage her by saying you can't afford for her to go.

The cut off point would surely be once earning more than minimum wage. At least give them chance to get out of their teens first before asking for money. Let them save for their future accommodation.

Show quote history

Why don’t you stop being so bloody nosy and self righteous. Your posts are absolutely nauseating! You don’t know anything about another persons lifestyle or finances and are making assumptions based purely on what you ‘think’. Give it a god damn rest.

BunnyLake · 15/02/2025 15:30

Janiie · 15/02/2025 15:00

Maybe we aren't privileged just manage our money to cover our bills so teens can save for their future.

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Which is a privilege 🙄

Sometimes things can happen in life that change everything including finances. Ill health, partner leaving, job loss etc.

The smugness in this thread is 😡

Ah just seen who the poster is. No surprise there.

BunnyLake · 15/02/2025 15:32

Izzybusy23 · 15/02/2025 15:23

Why don’t you stop being so bloody nosy and self righteous. Your posts are absolutely nauseating! You don’t know anything about another persons lifestyle or finances and are making assumptions based purely on what you ‘think’. Give it a god damn rest.

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Spot on! If there was a medal for smugness I know who should get it.

Roseshavethorns · 15/02/2025 15:34

Honest question
Do all those on here who don't ask their adult children for any contribution so that they can save for a deposit check that they are actually saving a realistic amount?
What would you do if your adult children stayed at home, didn't contribute and just spent all their income? Would this be an issue for you or do you feel that you have a duty as their parent to support them no matter what choices the make?

x2boys · 15/02/2025 15:34

Janiie · 15/02/2025 15:18

They will pay for all the things parents used to pay for, clothes etc once earning. The bills will be paid with or without them living at home. They will then save enough to buy their own places, that is what parents should be encouraging. To charge teens earning peanuts rent is wrong imo but you do you.

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Even when the parents are also on minimum wage yes ,let the teens swan around contributing nothing whilst the parents are struggling to pay the bills you are completely clueless.

BunnyLake · 15/02/2025 15:34

Janiie · 15/02/2025 15:00

Maybe we aren't privileged just manage our money to cover our bills so teens can save for their future.

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Funny how you associated yourself with that post even though your name was never mentioned.

Izzybusy23 · 15/02/2025 15:37

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BunnyLake · 15/02/2025 15:40

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Couldn’t agree more.