Would you leave them alone overnight?

[MooseAndSquirrelLoveFlannel]

Trying to gauge if I'm being reasonable or being too paranoid.

DH and I would love a weekend away together. We have no family/friends nearby so have never really managed it. Family member could stay, but it's a 2.5 hour journey for them and would mean leaving their pet alone (I have animals so couldn't bring with)

Would be leaving early Saturday and getting home late afternoon/early evening Sunday. Approx 3 hours drive away.

Children are 16, (almost) 14 and 12. All are responsible, no drinking etc. The most challenging behaviour is watching YouTube too much and a dungeon and dragons game lasting too long.

They can cook, are very self sufficient. Are used to being left alone in the house for full days when DH and I are at work, but have never been alone overnight. Latest they have been alone is till about 11pm.

So, would you?

YABU - don't leave them alone overnight

YANBU - it's fine, they're old enough.

Absolutely not.

Why not?

It’s a no from me.

Absolutely fine if you trust them to be sensible.

Are you crazy? You’d actually be arrested if the police were aware

No. Definitely not.
If it was just the 16 year old and they were sensible then yes certainly.
You can't leave a 16 year old in charge of a 14 and a 12 year old overnight.

A 16 year old isn't mature enough to be responsible for two younger siblings overnight. Are you saying you would leave them without an adult @Glorybox2025? Why?

No, it's too much responsibility on the 16yo with two younger siblings. Could you not compromise and just do late afternoon to midday?

I don't think it quite sits right. It's not a million miles off. I think I would look at them as individuals rather than a group of 3 as it's too much responsibility for the oldest one to essentially be in charge of 2 siblings. Could the younger 2 not stay with mates for a night?

also they might be nearly 16 but currently still 15 - what would they do if one of them got sick, how would they judge whether this was serious enough to call for help and how would they even get help, what if something goes wrong in the house - would they know what to do? 3 hours is far too far away.

No. They're all still children, OP. They're too young. You can't leave a 16 year old with responsibility for a tween and a young teen.

No she wouldn't as it's not illegal

It's the 12 year old that scuppers it for me. In a year with a 17, 15, 13 year old, fine. I'd start off with an overnight. It can be a surprise to a teen how being without an adult at 2 am is suddenly scary.

No, it's not a 16 year old. It's a 15 year old looking after a 14 and 12 year old.
You are not wanting to leave them because of an emergency situation, simply because you and DH fancy a night away. Wait a few years til they are older, find a friend/organise sleepovers for them all or hire a childminder for the night (guess you don't want to pay for this though).

One is very unlikley to be arrested for leaving a 16, 14 and 12 year old alone, since age alone does not make it illegal. That doesn't mean it's a good idea mind you, but then neither is scaremongering

I totally disagree with this. I was babysitting from 14 including overnight for other people's kids and my siblings. I was responsible then and even more so at 16. I have a 16 year old and would happily leave him in charge of relatives of that age overnight. I despair of modern teens who are babied so much and held back from their capacity by anxious parents.

If they are sensible and you aren't going to be a million miles away -. maybe one night.? and see how it goes.

The 16 year old is old enough to join the army - they can probably babysit for a night.

That's a load of bollocks!

Leaving a child alone comes under child neglect (cruelty to a child is the crime) which is illegal - specifically leaving them alone isn’t stated as a crime but you can be arrested for child neglect. I work in this area and this is how cases like this are dealt with by police

I would leave a 16 year old.

Not sure about a 16 year old in charge of 13 & 12 year old siblings. They are unlikely to have the authority needed. DS at 12 thought he knew everything about everything.

Certainly wouldn't go 3 hours away.

No, too much responsibility for the 16 year old.

@Tryingtokeepgoing it’s not scaremongering, it’s reality especially if something were to happen to one of the children

Oh my god the 16 year old could have a child and be deemed able to care for it!
i have a social worker friend and her view is if you are happy to leave your child alone and confident that they could cope then nighttime is not any worse. Things happen any time of the day.

saying that i think 3 hours away is way too far with no-one on hand. We have left our 3 last year and they were 17,15 and 13 but had someone very local on call if anything happened. Have also left older 2 when they were 16 and 14.

I also work in this area and I promise you no parent is ever going to be arrested for child neglect for leaving a 12 year old in the care of a 16 year old. Now IF something dangerous, that was also predictable and avoidable, happened to the 12 year old then it's possible the parents would be arrested but just for leaving them? Absolutely not. It's not illegal. It doesn't meet the legal definition of child neglect.

No, I think three hours is too far away to be leaving a 16 year old looking after a 12 year old for the first time overnight. Far too long to get back if anything happened and they needed you. Especially when there's no family even nearby.