Would you leave them alone overnight?

[MooseAndSquirrelLoveFlannel]

Trying to gauge if I'm being reasonable or being too paranoid.

DH and I would love a weekend away together. We have no family/friends nearby so have never really managed it. Family member could stay, but it's a 2.5 hour journey for them and would mean leaving their pet alone (I have animals so couldn't bring with)

Would be leaving early Saturday and getting home late afternoon/early evening Sunday. Approx 3 hours drive away.

Children are 16, (almost) 14 and 12. All are responsible, no drinking etc. The most challenging behaviour is watching YouTube too much and a dungeon and dragons game lasting too long.

They can cook, are very self sufficient. Are used to being left alone in the house for full days when DH and I are at work, but have never been alone overnight. Latest they have been alone is till about 11pm.

So, would you?

YABU - don't leave them alone overnight

YANBU - it's fine, they're old enough.

Go with your gut OP. I can understand why your own experiences impact but what you describe in your own childhood even when allowing for how things were different was fairly unusual in terms of responsibility.
its the distance which is the worry

Well I was going to say that you know your own children best OP and if they generally behave sensibly and responsibly I don't see a problem with leaving them over night. Especially given you say the neighbours or your friend would be able to help if there was some issue.
But I think you've answered your own question: if you personally aren't comfortable with leaving them then don't.
Because you won't enjoy your trip away for worrying.

I would leave them if family lived locally.

I looked after my 14 year old sibling at 16 a few times but my grandparents, aunts and uncles lived 5 mins away and a couple “popped in” to see how we were getting on. I think it’s a bit much to expect a friend or neighbour to be available to keep an eye on them & 16yo might not feel comfortable contacting them if struggling.

The main issue especially for your oldest child is managing the others, especially if there are fallings out or the younger ones won’t behave for their sibling. If Uncle Brian or Granny Nora can be there in a few mins to help out it’s different

Yeh I agree I wouldn’t leave them alone overnight at those ages

I think in 2 years time this would be fine. But a 12 year old overnight without an adult - no. I’m sure you are desperate for alone time without kids……. but is it worth it if something went wrong? Would you even be able to relax, I wouldn’t!

Can your relative come to stay and you offer to pay for a pet sitter so that they can leave their own pet?

Or can your youngest sleepover at a friends house? Then your eldest two could stay home alone overnight?

How do they feel about it? I wouldn't be worried about family not being local but I would want a trusted friend or neighbour within shouting distance if I was 3 hours away.

I wouldn't even consider it, I'd wait until the youngest is 16, not the oldest.

I think it’s fine to do it. I just think 3hrs is too far away. I’m sure you could find someone closer.

I wouldn't leave a twelve year old, and probably wouldn't a 14 year old either. Would they know what to do in emergencies?

I think looking after a sensible 12 and 13 year old is much easier and less risky than looking after a newborn or toddler.

I think it’s fine. They aren’t babies, and are sensible kids.

100% no

Could the youngest maybe stay with a friend overnight? And you could look for a night away somewhere closer? 3 hours away is too far.

No she wouldn’t. DH is police. He’d have left ours alone at 10 and 11 if I’d agreed!!!

My sons were left alone for 2 nights for the first time at 16 and 17 and I was more worried about them fighting each other than anything else! I kept texting saying be kind & look after each other. They replied with the usual “K”

Not in a million years

No I wouldn't.

It's one of those. It would probably be fine, but I would be too worried about what if scenarios. NSPCC Guidance is no child under 14 should be left alone at all, certainly not overnight.

Could they go to sleep overs with friends and you offer to reciprocate at a later date?

Worse, the eldest isn't yet 16, OP says she's 16 - almost!

No she wouldn't. There is no legal age for leaving children home alone as long as they are not at risk. A 16 year old can be hired as an overnight babysitter.

Stop spreading misinformation just because you wouldn't do it doesn't mean it's illegal.

If your children are responsible, and your 16 year old is mature then one night is fine @MooseAndSquirrelLoveFlannel. It's not illegal.

Call 999 like anyone else

I am quite laissez faire and left my 16 year old on her own with dog for 2 nights as she was happy to do so and lots of check ins. She’s youngest of 3 v mature.

No way would I leave her overnight with 2 younger sibs.

I'm pretty kid back and I'd leave a 16 year old overnight. I wouldn't leave them in charge of younger siblings though. I wouldn't go a 3 hr drive away either, I'd want to be closer in case of an emergency

No way! Especially as you’re 3 hours away. Kind of shocked at this. Follow your instincts and ignore those pressurising you.

Complete rubbish

No, it's too much responsibility for tje 16 year old

No. Definitely not. Not 3 hours away and not overnight.
Night out together for a few hours for a meal, fine, if the children are sensible.