Would you leave them alone overnight?

[MooseAndSquirrelLoveFlannel]

Trying to gauge if I'm being reasonable or being too paranoid.

DH and I would love a weekend away together. We have no family/friends nearby so have never really managed it. Family member could stay, but it's a 2.5 hour journey for them and would mean leaving their pet alone (I have animals so couldn't bring with)

Would be leaving early Saturday and getting home late afternoon/early evening Sunday. Approx 3 hours drive away.

Children are 16, (almost) 14 and 12. All are responsible, no drinking etc. The most challenging behaviour is watching YouTube too much and a dungeon and dragons game lasting too long.

They can cook, are very self sufficient. Are used to being left alone in the house for full days when DH and I are at work, but have never been alone overnight. Latest they have been alone is till about 11pm.

So, would you?

YABU - don't leave them alone overnight

YANBU - it's fine, they're old enough.

The state can only prosecute for neglect if they can demonstrate that a child was put at risk. It's not automatic result of them being left alone. So, while I repeat it is not a good idea (in my opionion), it is also very unlikely to result in any police action, never mind arrest and prosecution.

Everyone is saying 16, but it's actually a 15 yo. Which is pretty disingenuous of OP.

Wait a couple of years and you're gravy. Not now though.

An overnight as in you went out in the evening and came back the following morning I might consider but you're talking about 2 full days which I think is too long at their ages.

Depends on the kids. Can you send either of the younger ones on a sleepover and leave the 2 most sensible at home.

Do they have good neighbours who can be an emergency contact?

Would you leave the 12yo alone overnight without their siblings?

If not... No.

A 15yo isn't mature enough to take on responsibility if the younger ones go rogue

No, you can't leave a 16 year old in charge of a 13 year old and a 12 year old for that long.

Edited to correct the middle child's age.

You can't leave a 16 year old in charge of a 14 and a 12 year old overnight.

This is the point. You have to be confident that each child js fine to be left on his own; it’s not fair (and a completely different kettle of fish) to leave a 16 year old in charge of younger siblings overnight (as opposed to leaving him on his own).

Too long away and the eldest is only 15 which is very young to be responsible for 2 siblings including a preteen for 2 entire days. A comprise idea- Youngest sleeps over with a friend. Oldest 2 at home but limit your trip to somewhere with an hour’s drive and go Saturday dinner-Sunday breakfast.

I think it's the middle child who is almost 14, not the oldest who is almost 16. So they are 16, 13 and 12.

That’s way too young to leave your kids alone.

No. They are too young to be left overnight.

If you were going out for an evening but returning after a few hours that would be fine but overnight is too long and you would be too far away. Your youngest is only 12. A 16 year old can't be fully responsible for a 12 year old sibling.

My children are 16 and 14. We will go out during the day or for an evening but not overnight. When we did go somewhere for 1 night recently their grandmother came to stay for that weekend.

That's @CloudywMeatballs I think you're right. Eats, Shoots and Leaves...

I think the "almost" was about the 14yo not the 16yo.

Op yes I would do this for one night, I'd be making regular phone calls to check up on them.

I had my own baby by 17 and lived alone, I can't imagine a sensible 16yo is any different plus it's only one night and the other kids aren't toddlers or babies.

Ha ha, exactly. Although it's not immediately clear.

No I definitely wouldn’t. 16 is far too young to be left in charge of a 12 and 13 y/o, regardless of their emotional maturity.

Is the 16 year old sensible & trustworthy?

How on earth do people think a 16 year old can't cope with a 12 & 14 year old

Op they will be fine. I would schedule their weekend a bit to ensure they aren't moping around bored. Eg has 12 yo got a friends house they can be dropped at Saturday afternoon for a few hours?

Nope. You're almost there OP. Just a few more years but no way would I leave a 15 year old in charge of a 12 year old overnight. None of them can even drive.

This why children and young people are so anxious.

They are being told they can't cope with even a tiny bit of independence and responsibility.

A 16 year old is practically an adult. They can have a job, babysit, make their own medical decisions. 3 secondary age DC should be able to cope for one night with parents away.

I don't know, but only because there's 3 of them. It would be completely fine to leave most 15 year olds alone for a night. My DS was 15 the first time he was left alone overnight. I went to a different city for a concert and we had no back-up person/ emergency plan. He was 16 the first time I left him home alone for 3 nights and went to another country.

Could you share a link confirming this is illegal? Hint, it’s not illegal and OP would not be arrested.

I agree it’s not a good idea to leave the children but why make something up to state your point? What you said just isn’t true.

None of them can even drive.

How is this relevant? Lots of adults can't drive.

Leave plenty of money for taxis etc.

I read it as 16, 13 and 12

To clarify

16yo
Almost 14 yo (2 weeks shy of 14)
12yo (turns 13 3 months later)

All very responsible and 16yo is incredibly trustworthy.

My gut is saying no, but family is telling me I'm being paranoid and they're old enough.

I was alone overnight, every night from 14yo looking after a 9yo and 12yo so I know my family think it's normal. But I'm uncomfortable which is why I'm asking.

Couldn’t they all stay at friends houses for sleepovers. Then you get your night away.

Sorry I think maybe I read the comma in the wrong place. Either way it's a 16 year old looking after a 13 and 12 year old, I wouldn't do it. Especially as there isn't a family member near by.