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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Leaving kids home alone for 5 days?

332 replies

PinkPinkPinkBlue · 13/02/2025 13:21

Dh and I have never been away with out kids not even for a night. I want to suggest a 4 night city break to him but before I do just wondering if you would leave dc of these ages home alone? Grandparents live a couple of miles away and would pop in everyday and happily run my youngest to activities.
DD 19 (holidays so back from uni)
DS 16
DD 13

OP posts:
MabelMora · 13/02/2025 13:23

Yes, I would...unless the older two are raging party animals?

ManchesterGirl2 · 13/02/2025 13:24

Depends how sensible they are, and how comfortable they would feel with it, particularly the youngest.

Original poster
PinkPinkPinkBlue · 13/02/2025 13:24

Obviously dd is more than capable of looking after herself but not sure if it’s fair to make her responsible for the younger 2. They all get on well and dd comes home from uni regularly and it’s like she’s never been gone.

OP posts:
Pippa12 · 13/02/2025 13:24

Your 19 year old is an adult so personally I would leave my 16 year old with them.

I wouldn’t leave them responsible for the 13 year old tho. Perhaps the grandparents can look after the youngest for you?

Have a great time wherever you go!

Original poster
PinkPinkPinkBlue · 13/02/2025 13:25

No worries about parties

OP posts:
loropianalover · 13/02/2025 13:25

Yes I would happily do this. I was often left alone from 12 onwards and was always fine, so 3 siblings plus grandparents on call wouldn’t phase me one bit.

ThejoyofNC · 13/02/2025 13:25

Can't the 13 year old just stay with the grandparents?

lnks · 13/02/2025 13:25

They will have an adult with them so they will be fine.

Samung · 13/02/2025 13:25

No problem. I was 19 and my brother 13 when my parents went away for a week. A 19 year old can be out working, even married with children, so why wouldn't you?

loropianalover · 13/02/2025 13:27

ThejoyofNC · 13/02/2025 13:25

Can't the 13 year old just stay with the grandparents?

Why? There’s an adult sibling in the house. Much nicer/more fun to be at home with all of your stuff, your bed, your bath etc. than packing up to stay somewhere else while your siblings get to enjoy some freedom! I’m sure the 3 siblings would love a few days of running the house, great bonding for them.

WifeImprovementWorksInProgress · 13/02/2025 13:28

I wouldn't leave the 13 year old. If you wouldn't leave them alone, it's not fair to leave the older ones reasonable for them. Can they stay with the GP?

TomatoSandwiches · 13/02/2025 13:28

The older two together is fine, I'd want the 13yr old with grandparents or older family.

Glorybox2025 · 13/02/2025 13:28

Pippa12 · 13/02/2025 13:24

Your 19 year old is an adult so personally I would leave my 16 year old with them.

I wouldn’t leave them responsible for the 13 year old tho. Perhaps the grandparents can look after the youngest for you?

Have a great time wherever you go!

Why not?

Original poster
PinkPinkPinkBlue · 13/02/2025 13:28

Looks like others would do it, dd13 would happily stay with her siblings she is very close to them both and will be 6 weeks off 14 on the dates I’m looking at.

OP posts:
Glorybox2025 · 13/02/2025 13:29

What's the reason people wouldn't leave the 13 year old with their two older siblings?

Notgivenuphope · 13/02/2025 13:29

They all sound very sensible so go ahead. Good to have the grandparents as back up.

Winter2020 · 13/02/2025 13:29

I would if the 19 year old is responsible and explicitly agreed to be the responsible adult - to be in the house/with their siblings say 7pm - 7am and to ensure there was an evening meal whether bought or cooked. If the younger siblings cook the 19 year old would need to supervise.

I would probably offer the 19 year old a couple of hundred quid to mind their siblings- on top of grocery/take away money - to be paid when I got home and everyone and the house was in one piece.

If the 19 year old did not agree to mind their siblings I wouldn't go.

whyamiawakestillitssolate · 13/02/2025 13:30

Assuming they’re sensible and all get on and the 19yo doesn’t mind I don’t see why not. After all the 19yo could have a baby of their own and that’s far more responsibility than a self sufficient teenager.

BuffaloCauliflower · 13/02/2025 13:32

Go OP, and have fun. You know your children, there’s a big variation in maturity and sensibility at those ages. 19 is an adult! At 19 I had my own house and my then 13 year old sister stayed there with me a few times. I had friends with babies at that age living alone. A sensible 13 year old is no problem!

MissUltraViolet · 13/02/2025 13:33

Yeah, as long as the 19 and 16 year old are sensible.

With grandparents dropping in every day too and close by in general I would do it.

Hayley1256 · 13/02/2025 13:33

Personally I'd go for 2 nights and see how they get on before looking at 4 nights

irregularegular · 13/02/2025 13:36

It's a bit of an imposition on the 19 year old, but if they are happy to do it then I think its OK. When I was about 19/20 and at University I would occasionally come home for the weekend to look after my sister who was 11 years younger than me while my parents were away.

ThejoyofNC · 13/02/2025 13:37

loropianalover · 13/02/2025 13:27

Why? There’s an adult sibling in the house. Much nicer/more fun to be at home with all of your stuff, your bed, your bath etc. than packing up to stay somewhere else while your siblings get to enjoy some freedom! I’m sure the 3 siblings would love a few days of running the house, great bonding for them.

Show quote history

Just pointing it out as an option. Personally if happily leave 3 (sensible) teenagers.

MemorableTrenchcoat · 13/02/2025 13:37

Pippa12 · 13/02/2025 13:24

Your 19 year old is an adult so personally I would leave my 16 year old with them.

I wouldn’t leave them responsible for the 13 year old tho. Perhaps the grandparents can look after the youngest for you?

Have a great time wherever you go!

Why on earth not? They could have had children of their own a full 3 years ago.

SereneCapybara · 13/02/2025 13:37

I would ask 13 yr-old if they'd rather stay with granny or at home, If at home, I would ask 19 year old to be responsible for their welfare and pay them some babysitting money in return for specific tasks which you'd normally perform, such as:
Making sure they have a healthy dinner each night.
Making sure they have done their homework
Making sure they have clean clothes and school uniform
Knowing where they are and who with and what time they will be home
Making sure they have safe ways of getting to and from any clubs or social events.
Making sure they do not spend 4 days online, but have some fresh air and other activities lined up.