Leaving kids home alone for 5 days?

[PinkPinkPinkBlue]

Dh and I have never been away with out kids not even for a night. I want to suggest a 4 night city break to him but before I do just wondering if you would leave dc of these ages home alone? Grandparents live a couple of miles away and would pop in everyday and happily run my youngest to activities.
DD 19 (holidays so back from uni)
DS 16
DD 13

I would, I've left my 16 and 13 year old for the odd night together. If the 19 year old is happy to be responsible for her siblings then I think it's fine. I think if my youngest was told she had to go with grandparents whilst her sibling stayed at home she would be very unhappy.

need to bring this post to my parents and tell them owe me a lot of money! 😅

For me it would depend on the 13yo and the relationship between the 3 of them.
I'm a latch key kid middle of 3 mostly raised by my older sister, with her as the eldest in your situation we could be left as she ruled the roost and we respected her as a parental figure.
My younger sister (4 years my junior) was physically abusive towards me and we couldn't be left overnight together without my elder sister/parent/grandparent. When we were to be left just the 2 of us she went to stay with grandparents.

It honestly depends on their personalities, how responsible they are and how much you trust them - bear in mind my mum and dad trusted
me and my sister implicitly when they did the same and we still threw a party!

It’s not always the oldest who is the likeliest to be guilty of this either.

My parents went away when my sister was 16 and I was 19. I worked on the same street and did a 4 hour shift thinking she was chilling at home and came back at 8pm to a houseful.

To be fair we tidied the house till it was spotless and made smokers go outside and use plates for ash trays so there weren’t fag ends everywhere outside. We hoovered, dusted, deep cleaned the whole kitchen and even took recycling and rubbish to the tip to hide evidence, we would have completely got away with it if the neighbour hadn’t grassed on us, we denied it but left the ash tray plate in the dishwasher and forgot to turn it on 😂. We also took photos which were then used as evidence against us.

Are your kids housetrained? I’d actually moved out at 18 and stayed at my mum and dad’s to look after my sister. We were completely self sufficient and apart from the party looked after the house and ourselves perfectly well.
Do they get on with each other and would they all behave or would one encourage the others to have a party like my sister did?

It you think they could all look after themselves without being at each others throats then the eldest should be old enough to look after the others, they are old enough to live alone.

If they can’t boil an egg or would go out and leave the house unlocked or do nothing but argue then you will just worry the whole time. If that’s the case then you might need to work on them developing more domestic skills and being more responsible!

Yes, as long as the 19 year old was OK with being the responsible adult.

This is fine if you can trust them not to party

Yes and I have done, left them for 5 days when DS was 17 and DD 14

I'm doing this for the first time with a 19 and 16 old, taking the 14 year old away. Biggest concern is they won't look after the dog properly. Leaving the 14 years old is tricky as 19 year old gets in parental mode and then it be ruins the relationship

I am having a 3 night city break with my DH soon. I'm leaving my DS2 17 and DD 13 home alone. They will have to get themselves up to school and work. I have DS1 21 who can pop in on them or they can call in case of emergency.

Depends on how well they get on, can confide in each other, feel trusted and secure with their siblings.

a lot of people didn’t get that until everyone was matured - over age of 25 in my case

that’s why I clicked YABU. But with respectable responsible teens who can trust each other, sure. It seems a big skip from never to a 5 day break tho?

Yes totally fine as long as they are happy.

I think you'd be better asking the 19 yo.

You have one adult, one nearly-adult who is technically a minor but should be completely capable of taking care of himself by now, and one child.

I wouldn't leave a 13 yo alone for 5 days, so what you need to find out is if the young adult is happy to be in loco parentis whilst you are gone.

My parents would have written this too.

13 is too young and it's not fair to ask the older ones to take on responsibility.

The other two will probably be OK (depending on temperament etc!)

Same age gaps between me and my younger siblings. I think it’s fine, my parents did similar when we were the same ages and we were fine, they left us money to get a couple of takeaways so we had a treat aswell. If they all get on it’s fine.

I would assuming the 19yo is mature. My parents left me in charge for 2 weeks at 19 and went to the other side of the world. My siblings were 17, 16, 13 and 9. They didn’t love all their meals but we were fine!

If they're all sensible and your older one is capable of cooking a meal without setting the place on fire (which I'm sure they are if at uni), then no problem. Maybe talk to your older child about it.

Absolutely fine…have a lovely break x

I was left alone with my older siblings from a young age and some of my best childhood memories are from these times. As long as they all get along (relatively well) and they’re safe, you should be good.

A couple of generations ago, many people were married at 17/18 and had a baby by 19, a lot harder to look after than a 13 year old sibling. You can fight in the army/travel the world alone/ drive a car/ work as a nanny looking after small kids at nineteen. Of course you can keep a 13 year old safe!

What does your 19 y.o think about it? Are you expecting them to cook all meals, get the youngest to school, clubs etc? What plans does the 19 y.o have to fit all this around? My parents did this to me all the time and i hated it. I was more than capable of doing it I just didn't see why looking after siblings for days at a time so my parents could enjoy kids free holidays was my responsibility. My brothers also fought a lot more when parents were away which was stressful. It was a thankless task made worse by the fact my parents seemed to think it was my duty to do it.

This. I would leave the 19 and 16 yr old and as GP to have the 13 yr old.

The fact that you are asking suggests that you wouldn't be able to relax and enjoy your time away?

My eldest wouldn’t break any rules she would to worried about disappointing me or her dad. She would happily look after them and I trust her 100%. It would be school holidays so no one would need to get up for school and grandparents would ferry my youngest to clubs.
My biggest concern would be my ds16 turning nocturnal on the Xbox but I would ask grandparents to come and take them out on the afternoon dog walk so they get fresh air daily.
Not sure dh will go for it, have a feeling he will suggest taking the kids.

a 13 year old is old enough to be left alone! They are old enough to get paid to babysit younger children. It's a bit of a worry if they are not ready.

For me it would depend on the dynamic between the 3 siblings, but I can't really see what the issue would be.