Leaving kids home alone for 5 days?

[PinkPinkPinkBlue]

Dh and I have never been away with out kids not even for a night. I want to suggest a 4 night city break to him but before I do just wondering if you would leave dc of these ages home alone? Grandparents live a couple of miles away and would pop in everyday and happily run my youngest to activities.
DD 19 (holidays so back from uni)
DS 16
DD 13

I would. And have a great trip!

Surely you're not serious. Oh yes, you probably are...

Depends entirely on the personalities involved. Some 13 yo are really mature and some are still like little children. Some 16 yos are chilled out and get along with younger siblings, some would cause ww3. When I was 19 I absolutely had huge house parties every time my parents left me alone, even when my younger siblings were there. So if I had a child like me, no I wouldn’t do it. But you know your kids better than anyone else.

Yes, if oldest was happy to be the responsible adult, and I would pay her!

In terms of ds becoming nocturnal, does it really matter for a few days? If he’s about to sit GCSEs and you’re planning to go in May half term maybe but otherwise the odd binge won’t hurt!

Because in Mumsnet a 13 year old may as well be a 3 year old sometimes.

Mine are the same age and we'll be leaving them alone for 4 nights at Easter. GP's are local same as you and dd19 is very sensible.

How does the 13yo feel about it. I was about 14 when my mum started going away and leaving me on my own about once a year. The first time my older sibling was supposed to be looking after me, but they spent most of the time at their boyfriend’s place and were horrible to me when they were around (we did not get on back then!).

I absolutely hated it. I was really lonely and worried the whole time. It was also the school holidays so I had very little human interaction for that week. But I didn’t feel I could object because it was clear my mum needed the holiday (single parent with dad not in picture at all).

So I’d completely go with what the 13yo wants/ is comfortable with (regardless of how responsible or liked the older siblings are)

Obviously the 19 year old is old enough to have their own baby, so they are definately old enough to be responsible for a 13 year old, but they need to actually agree to be in loco-parentis while you are away. The 13 year old is too young to be left alone overnight, so if the 19 year old is in loco-parentis and will follow the normal rules about getting their sibling to bed, up for school, fed and watered, helping with homework, being responsible for getting them medical care if they need it etc. If they are happy with that that's fine, if not then the 13 year old can only be at home for a few hours in the day, more than that they need to be with grandparents or another adult.

This is my thinking too. I wouldn't leave a 19 yo responsible for a 13 yo for such a long time. I think if the 19 and 16 yo are sensible and likely to behave themselves then I'd leave them together and get the 13yo minded.

I think you would need to lay out very clear basic ground rules for the 19 yo and reinforce these for them with the others. I'd still have your parents call in every day to see how they're getting on.

I'm a very laidback parent, especially by Mumsnet standards! However I definitely wouldn't leave the 13 year old.

She's 19! Will be good to have a bit of responsibility!

You are leaving an adult incharge of two teenagers
If the adult is happy to take the responsibility it is fine

I would unless there’s a specific reason why not ie 19 year old well known for being silly and unreliable.

it's not fair to leave the older ones reasonable for them

I don't understand this thought. This is a 13 year old, not a 3 year old. Even if they live on pot noodles and go to bed at 3am for four days, so what?

Plus - maybe ASK the 19 year old first before assuming they won't do it?

I agree with those posters saying no wonder kids are growing up with no idea how to do anything.

Only if the 19 year old is happy to look after her siblings and I'd pay her too.

I've only read page 1 but some of the responses on here are crazy. 16 and 13 year olds need to be supervised when cooking, really? And being online or not getting fresh air for four days never killed anyone. Op just go and enjoy it. They will be fine.

From the OP: "Dh and I have never been away with out kids not even for a night."

They don't want to take their kids! They want some time by themselves, and there's nothing wrong with that. And so what if the kids are jealous?

Because god forbid a member of the family do something because they're y'know, part of a family? No, we only help out when there's money involved.

Jesus.

I mean of course cover costs but payment? As a mother of 13 yo and 16 yo boys I'm bloody glad I'm confident mine are self sufficient enough that I could leave them alone for 4 days. I wouldn't, but they could absolutely look after themselves.

Some of the responses on here are flabbergasting.

I think I've outgrown mumsnet, everything I read at the moment I'm just astonished at the level of coddling children are getting.

Yes of course. I have exactly the same aged kids and I do it. The 19 year old is an adult!

My 13yo wouldn’t be ok with it but neither would they stay overnight with grandparents.

I would if they were all comfortable with it.

Yes I would as long as the eldest is trustworthy to be in charge of the youngest and was happy to do so

To be honest- and assuming no backstory, SEN or ND I would feel I had done a crap job of parenting if I couldn't do this....

I'd probably pay the 19yo a couple of hundred, but no issue from me. My parents sent me skiing aged 13 with my 19yo brother as my father was unwell. That's way more risky and he was drunk for a good part of the week.

At 19 I was a mum taking care of a newborn whilst living in my own flat.

I'm pretty sure a 19 year would be capable of taking care of two teenagers for a couple of days.