Leaving kids home alone for 5 days?

[PinkPinkPinkBlue]

Dh and I have never been away with out kids not even for a night. I want to suggest a 4 night city break to him but before I do just wondering if you would leave dc of these ages home alone? Grandparents live a couple of miles away and would pop in everyday and happily run my youngest to activities.
DD 19 (holidays so back from uni)
DS 16
DD 13

My parents left me and my two siblings for a few days when my sister was about that age. We would have been 19, 16 and 9 at the time (me being the 9 year old). Assuming the older two aren't the type to throw a party and the oldest one doesn't mind being in charge, it's fine.

Some of us know our kids! I've left my 16 year old lots of times, since he was 14 actually, including for a couple of whole weekends and he's never had a party. He wouldn't want the ballache of tidying it up after or the inevitable immense bollocking he would get.

A nineteen year old could be looking after their very own 3 or even 4 year old full time! Of course they can look after a 13 year old. Why are people acting like the 19 year old is a child.

My biggest concern would be my ds16 turning nocturnal on the Xbox

Honestly, for three or four days... so what? It really wouldn't matter. He's 16, not 6. It's not going to do him any harm to have a few all-nighters on his X Box and miss out on daily fresh air for four days in the school holidays.

I am going for 2 nights soon and i have
Ds1 18 coming back from uni to babysit
Ds2 17
Dd2 15
And we don't even have grandparents around! Ds1 drives so can pick up/drop off.
Feeling brave for doing this also but figured that it's now or never.... but I know how you feel! I hope you have a great time!

do it ,these are he thing that build trust and encourage responsibility. Do you have a ring doorbell or and Alexa camera you could check in from time to time? it may help put your mind at ease. not to spy but you can see what time they come in and make sure the youngest get out ontime.

I think I'd be a bit worried if they couldn't be left.

Am I silly for being confused by the emphasis in some responses being placed on making sure there are healthy meals cooked each night?

I absolutely think that it's fine to leave them, especially with GP being in and out. But I'm baffled by PP thinking that the 19 year old will be a surrogate parent while you're away. They will manage fine as long as they get on well enough and they keep tabs on each others whereabouts/everyone is safe and in bed each night.

As far as I'm concerned, if they eat takeaways, watch TV and spend 5 days online on a game console, that is fine too. In fact, I'd probably expect it. I moved out at 17 and thrived. The house won't be clean to your standards but ask that they try and work together.

Someone suggested the 19 year old having to supervise all cooking? Surely 16 year olds are more than capable of preparing food for themselves 🙈

Also, if your DC are otherwise healthy, well rounded young people who have good habits and make good choices - does it matter if they don't get much fresh air for a few days, eat a little less healthy and they stay up late during the holidays? Pick your worries. They're not hanging around the streets at night, drinking alcohol and taking drugs or having raging parties. Enjoy your break! 😊

Absolutely fine as long as you're happy they are all sensible enough.

I'm leaving my DS's 21,17 & 12 for 5 days next month.

Grandparents are 30 mins drive away but wouldn't bother them to check in (not great grandparents).

Eldest drives, both 21 & 17 have jobs, uni/college and youngest will be at school. Trust all of them to feed/clothe and look after themselves just fine.

Have a fab time

As long as your 19 year old is happy and comfortable being in loco parentis, and the younger ones don't have any major concerns, then I think this is fine, But only if you're sure your 19 year old is happy with it.

Totally fine IMO.

The people who wouldn't leave the 13 year old- why not?

At those ages and the eldest being at uni and looking after themself anyway I would do it. You can facetime them too to check in that everything is okay especially the 19 year old who has all the responsibility.

I agree, the older 2 are fine, but I would worry about the youngest.

Are there Grandparents, aunt or uncles around to help you out?

If the older two are happy to be responsible for the youngest (and in my family/world it wouldn't be in doubt) then go for it.

Christ, I’d moved out and had my own family by 19. Yes, absolutely fine. Go and enjoy yourself!

The grandparents don’t have to come take a 16 and 13 year old for a walk 🙈 you’re way overthinking it. They’ll have lie ins, watch TV, order pizza, eat cereal. Tell them to walk the dog once a day, run the dishwasher, and keep surfaces clean.

19 year old doesn’t need to be in the kitchen cooking, just make sure the house is locked up and everyone’s home at night.

I have a responsible 18 year old and I would leave him to care for his siblings - my husband wouldn't. Ironically I was 19 when I had my oldest.

I think its fine actually. What are the neighbours like? Can they be on standby for any unforeseen emergency before grandparents can get there?

I second a PP's suggestion of making it worth the 19yo's while with £200 or so. For 4 nights you are getting 96 hours of childcare and the 19yo will be giving up most of their life for that period. Up to you if you want to mention that before you sign them up, or make it a spontaneous gift after you get back.

My parents left me alone for 10 days when I was 16 and I was fine. But I was quite responsible and not a party animal.

Would the 19yo mind looking after the 13yo? Can the 16yo look after himself? Is there anyone to keep an eye on them in case they need help (grandparents or helpful neighbour)? It all depends on how independent and responsible they are, but I’d say go for it.

When my parents went away, I was 15 and my grandparents stayed to "look after me" My grandparents were in their 90s so I basically looked after them!

I loved spending time with them but I could basically have coped alone though. I cooked, cleaned etc for them which I was happy to do. I think it was just a deterrent to prevent me having a party :)

I am 60 now and things were maybe different back then.

@loropianalover we don’t have a dog, I was responding to another poster saying will they get fresh air daily. I meant the grandparents could bring their dog up and walk her with them as so many people mentioned fresh air.

I wouldn't monetise it for the 19 year old. I'd just ask if they are around and happy to do it, if not don't go. They might see it as a nice chilled-out bonding time with their siblings, and enjoy being the adult of the house for a bit. I think framing it as a childcare job sets up an odd dynamic, more appropriate to looking after much younger children.