Page 11 | To be devastated about this minor thing...

LadysMantle · 13/02/2025 22:46

Didimum · 13/02/2025 22:21

Gosh. Deducing someone’s entire ethos, mentality and self worth from three paragraphs on a thread. Bravo.

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All I have to go on is what you’ve said.

ForZanyAquaViewer · 13/02/2025 23:28

LadysMantle · 13/02/2025 22:46

All I have to go on is what you’ve said.

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Nothing she’s said indicates she’s made looking younger a plank of her identity.

Nonrienderien · 13/02/2025 23:33

People haven't a clue. Try getting dismissed as a child in the workplace when your in charge. Try getting refused into clubs on a night out when your the older one in the group.Try getting accused of being your Dh daughter. Try getting laughed at in the face of women your own age then ending up shying away from mixing with them. Try all that then say it's fantasy & there are women who thrive on being obsessed with looking young. Try living a day in the life of those whose genetics have given them younger looks than their age including those over 50/60 then you can appreciate what it's really like.

SixtySomething · 14/02/2025 00:03

Ninerina · 13/02/2025 09:51

I went to a book club last night- all fine, enjoyed it- and they asked me who I live with and I said my husband and my son and they asked how old he is and when I said his age there were no gasps, no look of shock, just nods
I have always always always been told I don't look my age but now people just nod. What is this hell?!
I'm 55 and my son is 29.
Up until I turned 53 people would say I didn't look my age
I know it's not a big deal really but couldn't they have pretended to look shocked?
It's not a big ask is it?
So upset

I now what you mean here, because the same thing has happened to me with regards to people no longer saying that I don't look my age.
I don't know why it suddenly stops but, sorry, I do think it's an extraordinary thing to post about.

Normallynumb · 14/02/2025 00:41

Ok so you're 55? It's better than the alternative.
I'm 60, told I look younger, but I'm not interested what people think
I'm guessing People didn't comment because they thought it either
Impolite or irrelevant

SnowFrogJelly · 14/02/2025 01:04

Itisbetter · 13/02/2025 10:03

Don’t be ridiculous. They probably have children the same age and think nothing of it.

This

YABVU

Nettleteaser101 · 14/02/2025 04:43

Oh and everyone of my brothers and sisters look younger than their years. Must be a gene thing.

Strawberryorangejuice · 14/02/2025 04:46

I stopped getting ID'd in Sainsbury at around 38. I had got so used to ie, despite having three children. Age hit me then and I do sometimes look back longingly for that time!

Hurumph · 14/02/2025 05:55

I had a very similar conversation yesterday.
Nobody NOBODY is surprised when I tell them I’m 50, people used to fall off their chairs when I was 40.
The last decade has not been kind.

31stJune1973 · 14/02/2025 08:02

Nonrienderien · 13/02/2025 17:17

A worthwhile quote & one to remember. Thanks for sharing 😊

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It's not a worthwhile quote, though. It's utter bollocks, like most quotes that are bandied around on the internet. What other people think of you is very much your business in most important areas of life - your job can hang on it, your relationship, your family life, your professional reputation.

Unless you live alone on a remote island somewhere, what other people think of you will affect your life all the time.

BlondiePortz · 14/02/2025 08:06

Why on earth would they look shocked?

farmlife2 · 14/02/2025 08:31

I'd just nod and not be shocked because, when I'm your age, I'll have a 36 year old. So a person my age having a 29 year old seems like an older mother to me anyway, relatively speaking. I suppose that means you'd have to be even more shocked with me?

gannett · 14/02/2025 08:58

I was IDed in supermarkets until I was 38. On a few occasions it was all fun and flattery until the bastards actually refused to sell me the wine.

Try going clubbing OP. Times have changed since I went raving every week and mandatory ID is now de rigueur everywhere no matter what you look like. A couple of months ago I went out with a friend who's a 43-year-old mum-of-two and they nearly didn't let her in the club (she showed the security guy pictures of her kids and said NOW do you believe me and he relented).

Original poster

Ninerina · 14/02/2025 09:04

gannett · 14/02/2025 08:58

I was IDed in supermarkets until I was 38. On a few occasions it was all fun and flattery until the bastards actually refused to sell me the wine.

Try going clubbing OP. Times have changed since I went raving every week and mandatory ID is now de rigueur everywhere no matter what you look like. A couple of months ago I went out with a friend who's a 43-year-old mum-of-two and they nearly didn't let her in the club (she showed the security guy pictures of her kids and said NOW do you believe me and he relented).

Some people really don't care about how old or young they look
It must only be a thing if you have always been told you look young a lot then it suddenly stops
When I look back at pics of myself in my 40s I definitely look a lot younger even tho I had a lot of stress
Hey ho

OP posts:

gannett · 14/02/2025 09:09

Ninerina · 14/02/2025 09:04

Some people really don't care about how old or young they look
It must only be a thing if you have always been told you look young a lot then it suddenly stops
When I look back at pics of myself in my 40s I definitely look a lot younger even tho I had a lot of stress
Hey ho

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When the IDing stopped I told myself I had a very good innings. I like how I look regardless and aging was always coming in the end.

Tiswa · 14/02/2025 09:20

The truth is we can escape aging and even those who are blessed to age well never look younger than 10 years - so for you the youngest you can really look is 45 a bit of a stretch to have a 29 year old but just about doable.

an awful lot of wow you look younger is false flattery

but yes I think aging hits pretty hard mid 40s onwards

maudelovesharold · 14/02/2025 09:21

My biggest problem wouldn’t be the lack of “you can’t possibly……!!!”, it would be the intrusive nature of
they asked me who I live with and I said my husband and my son and they asked how old he is.
I’ve been part of a music group for several years, now, and we all get on, very convivial etc., but we certainly don’t pry into each others lives and any personal info has been gleaned over a long period, by people occasionally mentioning family, birthdays etc. I wouldn’t be going back to a book club where participants were demanding to know who I lived with!

lemontova · 14/02/2025 10:02

maudelovesharold · 14/02/2025 09:21

My biggest problem wouldn’t be the lack of “you can’t possibly……!!!”, it would be the intrusive nature of
they asked me who I live with and I said my husband and my son and they asked how old he is.
I’ve been part of a music group for several years, now, and we all get on, very convivial etc., but we certainly don’t pry into each others lives and any personal info has been gleaned over a long period, by people occasionally mentioning family, birthdays etc. I wouldn’t be going back to a book club where participants were demanding to know who I lived with!

It's hardly that intrusive is it? I wouldn't call a bit of friendly small talk 'prying' or 'demanding to know'.

maudelovesharold · 14/02/2025 10:06

lemontova · 14/02/2025 10:02

It's hardly that intrusive is it? I wouldn't call a bit of friendly small talk 'prying' or 'demanding to know'.

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I wouldn’t call “who do you live with?” friendly small talk! It just sounds a bit…odd.

lemontova · 14/02/2025 10:15

maudelovesharold · 14/02/2025 10:06

I wouldn’t call “who do you live with?” friendly small talk! It just sounds a bit…odd.

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I suppose it is all in the context, they probably didn't say, 'who do you live with? how old is your son?' and it was more like this...

Hi Maude, lovely to see you. We were just talking about the Yellowstone finale, did you watch it?
No, gutted - my husband wanted to watch the football which was on at the same time.
Oh I never realised you were married, is it just the two of you at home then?
Us and our son, Jeremy. And his pet iguana, Malcolm.
Is Jeremy still at school? You'll be wanting him to move that iguana out when he goes.
No, he's 29, probably never leaving as the rents are so high and no landlords will accept a pet.
Bloody hell Maude, did I hear you right? There's no way you can have a son that age, you don't look a day over 35!

DeepFatFried · 14/02/2025 10:22

Book clubs are well known for being toxic. Cliquey, bitchy, intellectual-put downs, competitive snack provision and now… age related body shaming.

When oh when will women learn to stand together and support each other?

Burntt · 14/02/2025 10:23

Your value isn't in how you look op

Gorganzolabrie · 14/02/2025 11:06

I feel your pain OP. I was asking about the cost of membership at my local independent cinema the other day and they said "you're not over 60 by any chance?" I'm actually 66 but so many people have persuaded me that I look much younger that I've become entirely deluded about how old I look. It was a much-needed wake up call.

denhaag · 14/02/2025 11:23

DeepFatFried · 14/02/2025 10:22

Book clubs are well known for being toxic. Cliquey, bitchy, intellectual-put downs, competitive snack provision and now… age related body shaming.

When oh when will women learn to stand together and support each other?

My book club isn't any of those things.
I wouldn't go if it was, they're not compulsory.

CandidRaven · 14/02/2025 11:33

My mum is 57 and I'm 35, I wouldn't be shocked that you have a 29 year old either, a lot of time people saying you look younger are probably just trying to be kind, I hate being told that because it feels false somehow and I see myself everyday and know I look my age but I've had people saying I look like my 16 year olds older sister which I call out as complete crap 😂