To think my sibling is being totally unreasonable about sleeping arrangements on this trip?

[jd206]

Posting here for traffic because I need to know if I’m being mad or if my sibling is just being ridiculous.

We (me, DH, DCs, my sibling, and their DP) are going on a family trip soon. It’s been planned for ages, all agreed and booked. We’re staying in a big Airbnb-type place with multiple bedrooms. The plan was that DH and I would have one room, DCs in another, and my sibling and their DP in the third. There’s also a small box room with a single bed, which was just going to be a spare in case anyone needed it.

Now, sibling has suddenly decided that they don’t want to share a room with their DP because “they sleep badly together” (which is apparently news to everyone, including DP!). They’ve said they’ll be taking the box room instead, which means DP will now have to share with one of my DCs (who is 6 and not thrilled at the idea of sharing with an adult they barely know that well).

I told them that’s not fair and that they need to just suck it up and share with their DP as planned. They’re now saying I’m being unreasonable and need to be more flexible, and that the sleeping arrangements aren’t set in stone. But surely you don’t just unilaterally change things like this last minute?!

DM has now waded in and is backing sibling, saying I’m being selfish and that we should “find a compromise” (but what compromise? DH and I aren’t going to split up for the sake of their random issue).

So, AIBU to think my sibling is being totally unfair and should just stick to the original plan? Or am I missing something here?

TL;DR: Sibling suddenly refusing to share with their DP on a trip, wants to take the spare room, leaving their DP to bunk with my child. I’ve said no, now I’m the bad guy. Who’s BU here?

Pretty sure they passed out tbh they are clearly not used to whatever they are drinking

OP you might get what other people are saying but nobody gets what you're saying!

room1 - you and DH, as originally planned
room 2 - your DC, and just them, as originally planned, no changes, no reason for them to 'share with an adult they don't know'
room 3 - your sister's DP, as originally planned, not 'left without a room.'
room 4 - originally a spare room with nobody in it, now your sister's room, no knock on effect on anyone else

no awkward position and no need for your DC to accommodate anyone by sharing with anyone other than each other, which you say was always the plan. It's not as though 1 of your DC were originally supposed to have the box room, which would be U of your sister.

I've reached the end of the thread! OK I think the posters suggesting that there should always be a spare room are correct. I think if Laurence Llewellyn Bowen is free OP should invite him along too for some remodelling of this house.

I'm not sure what the actual situation is that you're describing!

Why on earth does anyone need a spare room on a holiday?

The OP wants it for one of her DC to make it easier. But she doesn't want to pay for 3 rooms out of 4.

This is nuts and the OP has disappeared. So I’m calling bullshit.

Your child was never going to be in the box room as their main room though?
Your sister or their partner taking the box room means that all the rooms are now used and you don't have the 'sick bay' option now.

100% this

No, everybody is none the wiser!

This is pleasingly bonkers. The updates even more so.

Is bedroom 4 actually in another dimension?

which means their DP is the one left without a bed.

@jd206 No, he sleeps in the box room. It is a spare room with a bed.

What is the point of keeping a room empty?

This is a ridiculous thread.

😩My brain is hurting just trying to work this out!

You sleep with your sister in her room, her DP sleeps in your room. Your DC sleep in the box room, your husband stays in a Travelodge and the DCs room stays spare in case someone's ill. Its not hard, is it?

I started off being totally confused by this thread - having read through it all, I’m even more confused if that’s possible.
I have a feeling this is a wind up and OP has disappeared (along with the ‘spare’ bedroom)

Your child was never going to be in the box room as their main room though?

That was exactly what OP was intending, but she wanted everyone to think the kids were sharing so she could pay less overall, then split them up when the time came. Sister is having none of it.

OP please come back. I need to be able to put this thread to bed (or not, depending if there is one available)

WHO STOLE THE BEDDDDDDDD

Sibling suddenly refusing to share with their DP on a trip, wants to take the spare room, leaving their DP to bunk with my child. I’ve said no, now I’m the bad guy. Who’s BU here?

So your sibling is going in the spare box room now, right?

I get what you’re saying, but the issue is that my sibling has decided they must have the spare room to themselves, which means their DP is the one left without a bed. The only other option is for DP to share with one of my DCs, which obviously isn’t ideal!

But how on earth does your sibling using the spare room leave their partner without a bed? They always had a room reserved to share anyway, so the DP will STILL have that room. Why on earth does any of this need to involve your six year old? WHY????? You described from the beginning that your two children would share a room. Even if you were secretly hoping to move your six year old into the box room and that plan is now scuppered, I still don't understand how this means your child will have now have to share a room with your siblings partner, or your husband.

I feel like I am going a tiny bit mad here.

Wow, I saw that this thread was 29 pages but this is not what I was expecting. It’s beyond comical.

I am probably going to repeat what the previous 750 posts have said…
there are 4 rooms

• Room 1 - OP and DH
• Room 2 - OP’s DCs
• Room 3 - OP’s sibling
• Room 4 - sibling’s DP

so why does OP say an adult has to share with her DC?
Why may OP and her DH have to split and go in different rooms?
Or why does OP need to keep a room unused at all times, if that is her thinking about DC having to share with an adult?!

Me after thirty pages of this nonsense

Surely they split between the original room assigned to them and the box room, then if (and big if!) something comes up that means that room is needed by someone else for the reassigned emergency situation arising then they bunk back in with their partner in the original room to free up the box room.

It is utter bonkers to say someone can't use a room and for it to be empty on a "just in case" basis.

It may not have been the original plan but the plan was that the box room be available and used as needed if something cropped up meaning it was needed - that is exactly what has happened yet you are now refusing it be used. They have just as much right to use it for their own reasons as you do.

When you book for your family separately do you always book somewhere with a contingency spare room even if you don't actually need the number of beds?

Bonkers! Just buy a tent to use as the spare room in case someone needs it????

I agree with the poster who suggested OP’s DH takes a travel lodge. He must be a saint to put up with this nonsense.

😂 why do you care so much that your sister wants the spare room? YA definitely BU

I've had a bad day, so I am happy to find that 80% of UK women are crying with laughter like me right now. Feels like a penis beaker moment and I miss that about MN.

Off to cancel my 2 bed AirBnB for me and DS at Easter now I know we need a spare room in case one of us is ill.

Sorry but you are nuts

4 bedrooms

1. for and dh
2. DC
3. sister
4. sister partner

and your sister and her partner decide who gets the box room

You don’t need to keep a room ‘just in case’ that’s ridiculous