To think my sibling is being totally unreasonable about sleeping arrangements on this trip?

[jd206]

Posting here for traffic because I need to know if I’m being mad or if my sibling is just being ridiculous.

We (me, DH, DCs, my sibling, and their DP) are going on a family trip soon. It’s been planned for ages, all agreed and booked. We’re staying in a big Airbnb-type place with multiple bedrooms. The plan was that DH and I would have one room, DCs in another, and my sibling and their DP in the third. There’s also a small box room with a single bed, which was just going to be a spare in case anyone needed it.

Now, sibling has suddenly decided that they don’t want to share a room with their DP because “they sleep badly together” (which is apparently news to everyone, including DP!). They’ve said they’ll be taking the box room instead, which means DP will now have to share with one of my DCs (who is 6 and not thrilled at the idea of sharing with an adult they barely know that well).

I told them that’s not fair and that they need to just suck it up and share with their DP as planned. They’re now saying I’m being unreasonable and need to be more flexible, and that the sleeping arrangements aren’t set in stone. But surely you don’t just unilaterally change things like this last minute?!

DM has now waded in and is backing sibling, saying I’m being selfish and that we should “find a compromise” (but what compromise? DH and I aren’t going to split up for the sake of their random issue).

So, AIBU to think my sibling is being totally unfair and should just stick to the original plan? Or am I missing something here?

TL;DR: Sibling suddenly refusing to share with their DP on a trip, wants to take the spare room, leaving their DP to bunk with my child. I’ve said no, now I’m the bad guy. Who’s BU here?

17 pages and almost 2 hours since OP last posted. Perhaps they have come to their senses?

Honestly there’s 4 rooms and 6 people… plenty of ways to make it work without OP’s kid sharing with the sister’s partner…!

OP & H
Kids
Sis
Partner

OP & H
Kid 1 & Sis
Kid 2
Partner

OP & Sis
Kids
DH
Partner

OP & Partner
Sis & OP’s husband
Kid 1
Kid 2

OP & Kid 1
DH & Kid 2
Sis
Partner

Don't be ridiculous. The man across the road who has just moved in!

OP has decided to liven up our Wednesday with an implicit spare room mystery conundrum.

Cryogenically freeze the kids and then all adults can have their own room. You'll still need the tent in the garden as a 'spare' so remember to bring an airbed.

Aaaah. Well spotted Sherlock. You might be onto something there.

I think you did - but so did a couple of other PPs on page 13...😜 (I wasn't one of them).

Sorry but you are still not making any sense at all. There are 4 bedrooms. 1 for you & DH, 1 for DC, 1 small single for sibling, 1 for sibling DP. So why all the drama? You do not need a spare bedroom for a short holiday stay FFS.

Is there 4 rooms but only 3 beds ?
I think it’s weird and concerning that you immediately went to your child sharing with this unrelated man instead of your husband sharing with the man.

OP, hon, have you promised the spare room to the Mexican Holiday Thief?

You missed out
OP and DC1
DH and partner
DC2
Sister

I think you might be on to something. I can imagine Sheldon Cooper being this annoying to the whole group on a trip and insisting on a spare room in case someone needs to isolate etc,all coming from his viewpoint he would plan all these scenario with HIM needing the spare room.I can almost see him sending Leonard to sleep with Howard's kids as Penny asked to sleep in spare room due to one of their fallouts. The episode will be called the Schrodinger's Bed conundrum

Why can’t the child share with relative instead of relatives unknown partner?

Maybe that doesn’t make sense either, I have a headache from trying to figure out why the simplest answer isn’t going to work…

You are being petty and pathetic. The box room is spare so your sibling can stay in there, the partner in the room they were originally staying in, your child can still stay in the room they were supposed to, there's no reason for them to share just to have a room sitting empty.

You wanty calm down hen, it's no string theory

Or OP sharing with the sister's DP..... ooohhh! Fun times 😁

I’m also so confused! Why on earth does anyone need a spare room on a holiday? Bonkers

I reckon the sister suspects her partner is having an affair which is why she doesn’t want to sleep in the same bed as him. Only, what she doesn’t realise is that OP is the one who is having the affair with him and that’s why OP wanted the box room as a ‘spare’ - so they could go screw in the middle of the night as the spare room is away from all the other rooms.

Only now, with the sister in the spare room, this can’t happen, and she can’t risk sneaking into the partner’s room, so OP is trying to make out that it is SUPER IMPORTANT there is a spare room at all times (for the shagging) because she’s already put SO much emphasis on how good it is having a spare room, and so therefore quickly made up that sister’s partner must sleep in the same room as the child to enable the spare room to happen still, cleverly thinking that the sister absolutely wouldn’t agree to the partner having to share with the child (and said partner would kick up a fuss) and therefore comply and sleep with her own partner again.

Only it’s just making OP look unhinged.

Eastenders credits music

<blinks stupidly at 800 posts>

Wait, what?

So why don't the kids share a room instead of going on about her DC sharing a room with the sis DH in his original room? Makes no sense

And also why didn't she claim the room from the start of she wanted one of her kids to use it? Even in her story she keeps saying it's a spare room but I wanted one of my kids to use it.

It really doesn’t change things!? No one needs a spare room on holiday.

OP feels stupid that nobody agrees with her, but the consensus is that she is a CF trying to get her DCs a room each using the 'non permanent bedroom' ruse as she slips a 6-year-old there each night (for free).

I suspect one DC is very much against having to share a room with a 6-year-old and has been promised they don't have to

... a smart sibling now ruins OP's perfectly laid plans.

It must be an AI. Or a really dedicated troll. Why does the bed get taken out the bedroom when your BiL goes to the spare room? I think it's chatGPT or something. Sounds "right" (the Mumsnet tone is spot on) but doesn't make any sense 😬

I don't understand the issue if there are 4 bedrooms? Why would her partner need to share a room if there are 2 for you and your kids and one for each of them? I get it's not what's planned originally but surely you'd want to support you sibling who may be going through a difficult time but trying to hide it and also it's a non issue as there is enough bedrooms?

Seriously wtf. Your sister goes in the emergency box room and everyone else stays put.