To think my sibling is being totally unreasonable about sleeping arrangements on this trip?

[jd206]

Posting here for traffic because I need to know if I’m being mad or if my sibling is just being ridiculous.

We (me, DH, DCs, my sibling, and their DP) are going on a family trip soon. It’s been planned for ages, all agreed and booked. We’re staying in a big Airbnb-type place with multiple bedrooms. The plan was that DH and I would have one room, DCs in another, and my sibling and their DP in the third. There’s also a small box room with a single bed, which was just going to be a spare in case anyone needed it.

Now, sibling has suddenly decided that they don’t want to share a room with their DP because “they sleep badly together” (which is apparently news to everyone, including DP!). They’ve said they’ll be taking the box room instead, which means DP will now have to share with one of my DCs (who is 6 and not thrilled at the idea of sharing with an adult they barely know that well).

I told them that’s not fair and that they need to just suck it up and share with their DP as planned. They’re now saying I’m being unreasonable and need to be more flexible, and that the sleeping arrangements aren’t set in stone. But surely you don’t just unilaterally change things like this last minute?!

DM has now waded in and is backing sibling, saying I’m being selfish and that we should “find a compromise” (but what compromise? DH and I aren’t going to split up for the sake of their random issue).

So, AIBU to think my sibling is being totally unfair and should just stick to the original plan? Or am I missing something here?

TL;DR: Sibling suddenly refusing to share with their DP on a trip, wants to take the spare room, leaving their DP to bunk with my child. I’ve said no, now I’m the bad guy. Who’s BU here?

I THINK that the BIL has to sleep with a DC because OP is insisting that one bedroom be kept spare at all times - ie the one that sister and BIL were originally going to share.

Question is why OP needs this spare room at all times???? Something fishy going on!

Maybe the real spare room was the friends we made along the way?

That's not it.

😂😂😂.

Because she's mad.

OP. I don't think the rooms are an issue. I think you are pissed off as siblings has rejigged things. Let it go.

Because the only way to split the kids up (in lieu of them having a bedroom each like OP secretly planned) was for her to be in bedroom 1 with a child and her DH to be in bedroom 2 with a child.

I think you should sleep in the bath. The two DHs sleep in the box room in a single bed. Your sister sleeps in the car and your children run from bedroom to bedroom all night, never sleeping, and singing Charlie Has a Pigeon at the top of their lungs.

Have a lovely holiday

@jd206 if you could just explain this sentence: "the issue is that my sibling has decided they must have the spare room to themselves, which means their DP is the one left without a bed." you would basically solve the internet, and we could all sleep easy.

To me it might as well be "cats are obligate carnivores, so grapes are green". A few extra steps to get from A to B would be really helpful.

The kids were never going to be split up it's been solved. A while ago.

By meeeeeee 😁😁😁😁

So, the boxroom is spare in case someone needs to use it?

Well, someone needs to use it, so let them, @jd206 . The point of a spare anything is for it to be used when needed.

I think mnhq are deleting OP but just leaving this thread up for us to play with

This thread is so funny.
I feel like the op hasn’t read it back so is confused as to why we are all baffled.
I really want to know what it is op is planning to disappear into the box room and do! There must be something surely if she is so adamant it must remain empty.

I'm still waiting to find out who is going to change the loo roll...

Ok. I skipped straight the OP's last post, hoping she might have clarified things a bit before I bothered to post and I see we are all still none the wiser.

Deep breath:

OP listen. It's simple. The box room was spare in case someone needed it. Someone does need it. Your sibling.

Your sibling's partner still has the room they were planning on sharing with your sibling, who is now going to sleep alone in the box room.

You and your DP still have the room you were planning on sharing.

Your DC still have the room they were planning on sharing.

I can't for the life of me see how either your DP or your children have been inconvenienced by your sibling's partner wanting to use the box room, which was never allocated to anyone to start with.

Unless you were secretly hoping to kick your own DP out of bed and wanted that room kept spare for him, I have absolutely no idea what your issue is.

Maybe they should all stay at home, that way there's 4 spare rooms in the holiday home 😜

No OPs (secret) plan was this:

bedroom 1: her and DH
bedroom 2: child 1
bedroom 2: sis & DP
box room: child 2 (6 year old)

It's as plain as day, but because they are obviously paying 50/50 for this holiday she was going to pretend that she didn't want to monopolise 3 bedrooms, but her intention was to insist the box room was left empty so she could conveniently put the 6 year old in there.

The sister obviously cottoned on to the plan and decided to ruin it for OP by insisting SHE wanted the box room herself.

But then there's no spare room, and the OP can't handle that thought, so wants to make BIL share a bed with a child. (Instead of the "more reasonable" asking Sister to share with the children, she have one bed and the kids share one bed, thus leaving box room spare)

Obviously there's absolutely no need to insist on a spare room, especially at the cost of two people sharing a single bed.

Oh my god. I came on to MN for a little light end of evening fun and now I'm caught up in this madness. There are enough rooms!

This is the best thread I've seen in a while.

I think OP should pitch a tent in the yard.

OP may have wanted dibs on the spare room, but she's mad, because she's insisting on there being a spare room and making two people share a single bed.

Would be funny when her child is moved into double room after all that ha ha

Plus maybe an extra tent as a spare ?

I agree with this and in all honesty I'm team sister 🤣

The only other option is for DP to share with one of my DCs, which obviously isn’t ideal!

No it is not. Hell would freeze over before I allowed a virtual stranger to sleep in the same room as my child.

But apart from this where is the bed that was in the room originally allocated to DSis and her DP?

You are not making sense at all.

I’m sorry that you are getting a hard time but you did bring it on yourself. You have left everyone either confused 🫤 or in stitches