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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To think my sibling is being totally unreasonable about sleeping arrangements on this trip?

1000 replies

jd206 · 12/02/2025 18:45

Posting here for traffic because I need to know if I’m being mad or if my sibling is just being ridiculous.

We (me, DH, DCs, my sibling, and their DP) are going on a family trip soon. It’s been planned for ages, all agreed and booked. We’re staying in a big Airbnb-type place with multiple bedrooms. The plan was that DH and I would have one room, DCs in another, and my sibling and their DP in the third. There’s also a small box room with a single bed, which was just going to be a spare in case anyone needed it.

Now, sibling has suddenly decided that they don’t want to share a room with their DP because “they sleep badly together” (which is apparently news to everyone, including DP!). They’ve said they’ll be taking the box room instead, which means DP will now have to share with one of my DCs (who is 6 and not thrilled at the idea of sharing with an adult they barely know that well).

I told them that’s not fair and that they need to just suck it up and share with their DP as planned. They’re now saying I’m being unreasonable and need to be more flexible, and that the sleeping arrangements aren’t set in stone. But surely you don’t just unilaterally change things like this last minute?!

DM has now waded in and is backing sibling, saying I’m being selfish and that we should “find a compromise” (but what compromise? DH and I aren’t going to split up for the sake of their random issue).

So, AIBU to think my sibling is being totally unfair and should just stick to the original plan? Or am I missing something here?

TL;DR: Sibling suddenly refusing to share with their DP on a trip, wants to take the spare room, leaving their DP to bunk with my child. I’ve said no, now I’m the bad guy. Who’s BU here?

OP posts:
Thread gallery
9
ShouldIRetrain · 12/02/2025 20:06

Jesus fecking Christ. It’s not rocket science and easily solved.
No child sharing a room.

ItGhoul · 12/02/2025 20:06

PandaTime · 12/02/2025 19:32

Can I just point out that the OP's posts are all annoyingly gender-neutral so we have no idea if the space-hogging sibling is a man, a woman, or a furry, nor whether their partner is a man, woman, or whatever.

Except it really doesn’t matter what gender or persuasion they are because they could just sleep in the box room on their own, a solution the OP is utterly blind to for reasons known only to herself

DalzielOrNoDalzielAndDontPascoe · 12/02/2025 20:07

Doloresparton · 12/02/2025 20:01

Have I stumbled onto a Mensa quiz without realising?

Edited

Yep, but if you want a hint, first you have to put the chicken on its own in the spare bedroom whilst you take the fox and the grain with you to the kitchen.

Also, my first is in canoe but not in semolina.

Happytrucker1982 · 12/02/2025 20:07

This thread is simultaneously hurting my head and making me laugh out loud.

parietal · 12/02/2025 20:07

SlightlyJaded · 12/02/2025 19:49

solved

Brilliant diagram. Explains it all perfectly

sandyhappypeople · 12/02/2025 20:08

Thedownstream · 12/02/2025 20:04

I’m guessing that OP is worried her kids won’t sleep well sharing or perhaps her DH snores and she was banking on that box room being free for one of those eventualities. I get it, I’m a bit of an insomniac and when I go and stay somewhere else I always book somewhere where we’re not reliant on a sleeping situation which might not work out and for which there is not a fall back option.

If OP had said in the OP. I was banking on being able to use this spare room for X eventuality and it never occurred to me that DSIS and DP would not be sharing she might have got some more sympathetic responses, and the questioning might have been more along the lines of how much of the AirBnB cost is each party shouldering. Has OP paid a cost proportionate to having use of three rooms?

OP, if you haven’t paid a larger amount of the cost of the AirBnB then DSIS and DP have to have the two rooms, and you contingency plan needs to move to be the living room sofa. There’s no way you can keep a room spare by having your 6 year old sleep with the DP.

Has OP paid a cost proportionate to having use of three rooms?

Of course she hasn't! 😂 50/50, but with a secret plan of a 75/25 room split all day long!

I really don't know who OP thinks she's kidding, her mum and sis are seeing straight through her plan.. I'd actually bet good money that her sister has demanded this spare room for shits and giggles because she knows what OP was planning all along!

I like OP's sister with her evil plan! Bwah ha ha!!!

Madamecholetsbonnet · 12/02/2025 20:08

YourFairCyanReader · 12/02/2025 20:04

I think sibling is asking for:
Rm 1 double- OP and DH
Rm 2 double - sibling
Rm 3 double - DP and DC 2 (same sex)
Rm 4 single - DC 1

The alternative is that OP and DS split up
Rm 1 DH and DC2
Rm 2 sibling
Rm 3 OP and DP (or DH and DP if DP is male)
Rm 4 DC 1

Which is what OP is refusing to do, but would mean DC2 sleeps in a parent's room.

This is all because sibling won't sleep in the single box room.

Edited

That would make sense (almost) but OP clearly states that the sibling wants to sleep in the spare room, which is the single…

thestudio · 12/02/2025 20:09

But OP - the original arrangements meant the box room was empty?

That's why everyone on the thread is so confused.

It doesn't impact your DC at all because they have their own room still?

amymel2016 · 12/02/2025 20:09

OP - there are FOUR bedrooms? Yes?

Original plans-
Bedroom 1 - you and DP
Bedroom 2 - kids
Bedroom 3 - DSis and her DP
Bedroom 4 (SPARE BOX ROOM) - empty

New Plans as proposed by a sane person -
Bedroom 1 - you and DP
Bedroom 2 - kids
Bedroom 3 - DP (sisters DP)
Bedroom 4 (SPARE BOX ROOM) - DSis

New Plans as proposed by OP -
Bedroom 1 - you and DP
Bedroom 2 - 1 kid
Bedroom 3 - DP and OPs child?!!
Bedroom 4 (SPARE BOX ROOM) - DSis

WHY does one of the kids have to share with your sisters DP when the 2nd scenario is fine?!!

I need to be up early tomorrow OP but I can’t sleep without an answer, please can you explain what this batshittery is?!

treesandsun · 12/02/2025 20:09

"The plan was that DH and I would have one room,1
DCs in another, 2
and my sibling and their DP in the third. 3
There’s also a small box room with a single bed, which was just going to be a spare in case anyone needed it."4 - and now somebody needs it.

So it is now
The plan was that DH and I would have one room,1 still the plan
DCs in another, 2 still the plan
and my sibling and their DP in the third. not now the plan just siblings dP
There’s also a small box room with a single bed, now going to be used by sibling as it was going to be unused
The change has zero impact on you - only what was going to be an empty room is now going to be used
Your DCs are not being impacted in anyway and only sharing with each other as they always were.

Barrenfieldoffucks · 12/02/2025 20:09

jd206 · 12/02/2025 19:34

I get what you’re saying, but the issue is that my sibling has decided they must have the spare room to themselves, which means their DP is the one left without a bed. The only other option is for DP to share with one of my DCs, which obviously isn’t ideal!

If sibling had flagged this earlier, we could have worked out a better arrangement, but changing it last minute just puts everyone in an awkward position. I don’t see why my DC should have to accommodate their sudden preference not to share with their own DP!

But why?

You said: Room 1: you and husband
Room 2: her and partner
Room 3: kids
Room 4/box room: spare.

Get moving into room 4 just leaves partner in room 2 surely? And kids in room 3 still? Why is everyone else moving just because she is moving into the spare room?

Princessconsuelabananahammock9 · 12/02/2025 20:09

I think you’ll just have to burn it all down.

There’s no other way.

cherrybluerazz · 12/02/2025 20:11

@jd206 PLEASE OUT US OUR OF OUR MISERY AND EXPLAIN MORE!

FartyAnimal · 12/02/2025 20:11

I'm so glad it's not just me who can't understand why sibling's DP can't stay in their allocated room and sibling herself moves into box room. It seems so simple!

Hayley1256 · 12/02/2025 20:11

Won't DP just be sleeping in the room they were going to share with your sibling? So sibling is having spare room. I don't get why anyone needs to bunk with your DC

YourFairCyanReader · 12/02/2025 20:11

Madamecholetsbonnet · 12/02/2025 20:08

That would make sense (almost) but OP clearly states that the sibling wants to sleep in the spare room, which is the single…

Show quote history

Oh yes, you're right, sorry.
No there really is no logical answer here 😃

BornSandyDevotional · 12/02/2025 20:12

I'm so confused. Isn't there a living room?

Cosyblankets · 12/02/2025 20:12

Acc0untant · 12/02/2025 18:47

Have I missed something? The plan was one room for you/DH, another for your kids, one for your sister/DP and a spare box room? So, four bedrooms?

So why can't your sister have the box room and her DP stay in the room they were originally in?

If you have then so have i

RadStag · 12/02/2025 20:12

BornSandyDevotional · 12/02/2025 20:12

I'm so confused. Isn't there a living room?

It disappeared the moment the sister claimed dibs on the spare room.

PrincessSakura · 12/02/2025 20:12

@amymel2016 it sounds like OP still wants a spare room so her new plan is:

OP and DH - room 1
DC and sibling DP - room 2
Spare bed - room 3
Sibling - box room

Hairoit · 12/02/2025 20:13

What? So your sister and DP were going to be sharing with your child and now it’s just the DP. Surely that’s better?

Madamecholetsbonnet · 12/02/2025 20:13

BornSandyDevotional · 12/02/2025 20:12

I'm so confused. Isn't there a living room?

The llamas are in there, dumb ass 😂

Peaceandquietandacuppa · 12/02/2025 20:13

I still don’t get it OP? Why isn’t it:

Room 1: you and DH
Room 2: your kids
Room 3: your sibling’s DP
Box room: your sibling

Why does the partner “have to share” with one of your kids?!?!

cerebuswannabe · 12/02/2025 20:14

What drugs have you taken tonight OP?

longtompot · 12/02/2025 20:15

BornSandyDevotional · 12/02/2025 20:12

I'm so confused. Isn't there a living room?

No, you are confusing things now. There are ONLY bedrooms in the massive air b&b, no living rooms

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