To think my sibling is being totally unreasonable about sleeping arrangements on this trip?

[jd206]

Posting here for traffic because I need to know if I’m being mad or if my sibling is just being ridiculous.

We (me, DH, DCs, my sibling, and their DP) are going on a family trip soon. It’s been planned for ages, all agreed and booked. We’re staying in a big Airbnb-type place with multiple bedrooms. The plan was that DH and I would have one room, DCs in another, and my sibling and their DP in the third. There’s also a small box room with a single bed, which was just going to be a spare in case anyone needed it.

Now, sibling has suddenly decided that they don’t want to share a room with their DP because “they sleep badly together” (which is apparently news to everyone, including DP!). They’ve said they’ll be taking the box room instead, which means DP will now have to share with one of my DCs (who is 6 and not thrilled at the idea of sharing with an adult they barely know that well).

I told them that’s not fair and that they need to just suck it up and share with their DP as planned. They’re now saying I’m being unreasonable and need to be more flexible, and that the sleeping arrangements aren’t set in stone. But surely you don’t just unilaterally change things like this last minute?!

DM has now waded in and is backing sibling, saying I’m being selfish and that we should “find a compromise” (but what compromise? DH and I aren’t going to split up for the sake of their random issue).

So, AIBU to think my sibling is being totally unfair and should just stick to the original plan? Or am I missing something here?

TL;DR: Sibling suddenly refusing to share with their DP on a trip, wants to take the spare room, leaving their DP to bunk with my child. I’ve said no, now I’m the bad guy. Who’s BU here?

The more I read your explanations the more confused I got. But I'm also really invested in this now.

Have I stumbled onto a Mensa quiz without realising?

This is engagement farming - deliberately nonsensical to generate lots of posts.

If sis IS forced to sleep in the same bed as her partner (the horror) in room 3, I hope they don't all leave the holiday home on the last day and forget they secretly put the 6 year old in the 'spare' box room last night..

It's almost like there could be a movie about it..

This x 1000.

Troll post? Or a politician unable to answer a question with a straight answer?

Exactly this. OP you are completely unreasonable to think the box room should be empty! Are you splitting the cost?

It's not big enough to count as a proper official portal with its own designated number - that's why the sign on the (peculiarly wobbly) door says 'Portal 00'.

No!!

Make them come back and explain.

MAKE THEM!!!

I wonder if the spare room is like the tardis and sometimes zooms off to a whole new dimension and so cannot be slept in just in case it pops off to button moon or France or something?

I don't think I've ever been so triggered by a poster on here 🙈 her dp isn't going to share with one of your DC's, they're going to have the otherwise unoccupied 'spare' room and your DC's are going to share as planned!

Most batsh1t non problem I have ever heard of.

This is the most ridiculous post I've read on here (and there has been some stiff competition!) What's the point of a 'spare' bedroom if you won't use it for the most obvious need? A bedroom on holiday is never a 'permanent' bedroom anyway. I hope the OP is serious and not just winding us all up - but if she really is serious, I'm glad I'm not going on that holiday.

With a proper diagram!

The plan was that DH and I would have one room, DCs in another, and my sibling and their DP in the third. There’s also a small box room with a single bed, which was just going to be a spare

So:
Bedroom 1: You and your husband
Bedroom 2: Your children
Bedroom 3: Your sister
Bedroom 4: Your sister's partner

Why doesn't that work? You can't insist on having a "spare room".

@HebeMumsnet but can it please go on to thread 2....when if required pretty please? (With a cherry on top!)

There’s also a small box room with a single bed, which was just going to be a spare in case anyone needed it
So your sister has decided she needs it and her dh will stay in the room they were originally going to share. None of your children will have to share with her dh.
I do feel like the rest of us are on a parallel universe to the op

I still don’t get it! Your children are meant to be sharing so why is one of them now sharing with the DP?? Where is the other child? If your DH shares with one child and you share with the other that’s the same as your children sharing and you and you DH sharing. Or did you want a room each for your children?

The logical allocation is:
room 1: you and your DH
room 2: your children
room 3: the DP
box room: your sister on a blow up mattress if there’s no bed.

problem solved!

THIS!!!

I’m guessing that OP is worried her kids won’t sleep well sharing or perhaps her DH snores and she was banking on that box room being free for one of those eventualities. I get it, I’m a bit of an insomniac and when I go and stay somewhere else I always book somewhere where we’re not reliant on a sleeping situation which might not work out and for which there is not a fall back option.

If OP had said in the OP. I was banking on being able to use this spare room for X eventuality and it never occurred to me that DSIS and DP would not be sharing she might have got some more sympathetic responses, and the questioning might have been more along the lines of how much of the AirBnB cost is each party shouldering. Has OP paid a cost proportionate to having use of three rooms?

OP, if you haven’t paid a larger amount of the cost of the AirBnB then DSIS and DP have to have the two rooms, and you contingency plan needs to move to be the living room sofa. There’s no way you can keep a room spare by having your 6 year old sleep with the DP.

I think sibling is asking for:
Rm 1 double- OP and DH
Rm 2 double - sibling
Rm 3 double - DP and DC 2 (same sex)
Rm 4 single - DC 1

The alternative is that OP and DS split up
Rm 1 DH and DC2
Rm 2 sibling
Rm 3 OP and DP (or DH and DP if DP is male)
Rm 4 DC 1

Which is what OP is refusing to do, but would mean DC2 sleeps in a parent's room.

This is all because sibling won't sleep in the single box room.

which means their DP is the one left without a bed

But won't the DP just stay in the bed he/she was in before the Sis jumped out and fucked off to the spare room?

I am not sharing with ops ds dp. YABVU TW MIL IYSWIM LMNOP.

I think pp have it and op wants the room for their dc so plan on making the dp feel weirded out by sharing a single bed with a little child...

Your sibling leaves their assigned room and takes the spare. Their partner remains in the assigned room. The end.

YABVU and completely confusing!