To think my sibling is being totally unreasonable about sleeping arrangements on this trip?

[jd206]

Posting here for traffic because I need to know if I’m being mad or if my sibling is just being ridiculous.

We (me, DH, DCs, my sibling, and their DP) are going on a family trip soon. It’s been planned for ages, all agreed and booked. We’re staying in a big Airbnb-type place with multiple bedrooms. The plan was that DH and I would have one room, DCs in another, and my sibling and their DP in the third. There’s also a small box room with a single bed, which was just going to be a spare in case anyone needed it.

Now, sibling has suddenly decided that they don’t want to share a room with their DP because “they sleep badly together” (which is apparently news to everyone, including DP!). They’ve said they’ll be taking the box room instead, which means DP will now have to share with one of my DCs (who is 6 and not thrilled at the idea of sharing with an adult they barely know that well).

I told them that’s not fair and that they need to just suck it up and share with their DP as planned. They’re now saying I’m being unreasonable and need to be more flexible, and that the sleeping arrangements aren’t set in stone. But surely you don’t just unilaterally change things like this last minute?!

DM has now waded in and is backing sibling, saying I’m being selfish and that we should “find a compromise” (but what compromise? DH and I aren’t going to split up for the sake of their random issue).

So, AIBU to think my sibling is being totally unfair and should just stick to the original plan? Or am I missing something here?

TL;DR: Sibling suddenly refusing to share with their DP on a trip, wants to take the spare room, leaving their DP to bunk with my child. I’ve said no, now I’m the bad guy. Who’s BU here?

Why is a kitchen on Tuesday, Thursday and Sunday?

This still doesn’t make any sense. At all.
Her Dp DOES have a bed. In the third bedroom originally assigned to him??? Why can he not sleep here?????? Please explain this.
If I love my sister, and I wanted her to have a good time on holiday I can’t even begin to imagine why this arrangement would be a problem.

There's going to be a massive drip feed soon... I can feel it in my bones...

Well she said in one of her updates it was 'in case someone needed a break' so I think she wanted it for a break from her own husband and dear sister beat her to it 😂

@Goody2ShoesAndTheFilthyBeast I’m sure it’s because OP feels like they still need to have a spare room available.

I’m thinking OP only has one DC who was in room 2. If her sibling goes to the spare room it means there’s no spare bed incase of illness which is why she feels like her child needs to share.

You're hilarious 🤣 🤣

Is it that the sibling and/or the DP don’t want to sleep in the box room, meaning they want bedrooms 2 and 3 and the kids are left with the box room which only has a single bed? So one child is minus a bed and would have to share with Mum and Dad, Auntie or Auntie’s DP?
In which case tell them to get lost - they can have room 3 as planned (imagining this has wardrobes, en suite etc) keep their stuff in there and one or other can use the bed in room 4 just to sleep in.

Wrong, it was the plan to suit OP.
OP’s “need” to not change the plan doesn’t trump someone’s need for better sleep that isn’t actually causing any physical disruption for anyone.

Awaiting the drip feed the dp is from an online relationship and noone including the sibling has met them before the holiday...
Which will be to either Maui 😎🤑or the Vatican City....😱

I mean, she wanted a spare bed/room so much she would have seen her sister's partner bunking in with the kids rather than have the original room...so there would still be a spare. Is that right? Can that be so?

OP PLEASE SPEAK TO US.

I think @jd206 is rather expecting that her two DC will eventually have a room each.

No, I think the OP will just come back on to repeat that she doesn't think her six year old should have to share with the sibling's partner on repeat until the thread gets deleted.

But no-one can use the room, because as soon as anyone apparently enters the room, a bed will disappear.

Watching this to find out if the 'spare' bedroom is temporary as it exists on another plane of reality, only acessible during the day, which is why the DS can't use it at night...

As any other explanation is utterly barking.

I read the OP three times thinking I had missed key information. Should of just jumped right to the comments. Never seen all posters completely confused before on mumsnet!!

No, I think the OP will just come back on to repeat that she doesn't think her six year old should have to share with the sibling's partner on repeat until the thread gets deleted.

Not necessarily low IQ, just rubbish at communicating. My FIL is like this. Trying to hold a conversation with him is infuriating. If I ask a question in an attempt to clarify things he doesn't actually answer the question, he jumps ahead and explains his answer to the question without actually answering it. It might go like this...

Me: How many did you buy?
FIL: Well I didn't like the blue one or the red one.
Me: How many colours were there?
FIL: The green one was out of stock.
Me: So which ones did you buy?
FIL: The sales person said the yellow one was the best.

I usually give up at this stage.

@SlightlyJaded 😂😂😂

There’s also a small box room with a single bed, which was just going to be a spare in case anyone needed it.

Christ, are you always this awkward? The room is SPARE so why does anyones DP need to share with anyone???

because OP fully intended the 6 year old to be in the box room.. so the only way for sis to go in there is if those two swap places.. which means 6 year old is now in with DP.

I suspect the cost has been split 50/50 but OP had secret plans all along to use three bedrooms.. which have now been scuppered by sis.

OP is pissed off because she's been caught out, she can't admit her original plan so has come up with this batshit about 'having to leave one bedroom spare'.. no one is buying it.

You still haven’t managed to articulate what your issue is. Originally the plan was

Room 1: You and your husband
Room 2: Your children
Room 3: Your sister and her partner
Box room: Spare

It sounds like your sister wants
Room 1: You and your husband
Room 2: Your children
Room 3: Her partner
Box Room: Her

But for some reason you think the only answer is
Room 1: You and your husband
Room 2: Your children and your sister’s partner
Room 3: Sister
Box room: Spare

Is that correct? If so yes, you are batshit. Unless you can give a valid reason for why on earth you’d move her partner into Room 2 with your kids. Are you wanting the box room in case your children bicker/wind each other up and you need to separate them?

OP I don’t get how you’re not getting this.

You said there were three bedrooms PLUS a small box room.

it was going to be:
Room 1: you and your DH
Room 2: your DC
Room 3: DSis and her DP
Box room: spare

now it’s:
Room 1: you and your DH
Room 2: your DC
Room 3: your DSis’s DP
box room: DSis

Why do you think your DS and her DP now have to share?

Her DP goes into the spare room. Why does it need to be kept empty?

It makes no sense.

You are making it into an issue.

Oooh or this maybe.

OP had the hallowed 'spare' room earmarked for her lot. Possibly.

I'm glad I've only just seen this thread. Dear Lord.