To think my sibling is being totally unreasonable about sleeping arrangements on this trip?

[jd206]

Posting here for traffic because I need to know if I’m being mad or if my sibling is just being ridiculous.

We (me, DH, DCs, my sibling, and their DP) are going on a family trip soon. It’s been planned for ages, all agreed and booked. We’re staying in a big Airbnb-type place with multiple bedrooms. The plan was that DH and I would have one room, DCs in another, and my sibling and their DP in the third. There’s also a small box room with a single bed, which was just going to be a spare in case anyone needed it.

Now, sibling has suddenly decided that they don’t want to share a room with their DP because “they sleep badly together” (which is apparently news to everyone, including DP!). They’ve said they’ll be taking the box room instead, which means DP will now have to share with one of my DCs (who is 6 and not thrilled at the idea of sharing with an adult they barely know that well).

I told them that’s not fair and that they need to just suck it up and share with their DP as planned. They’re now saying I’m being unreasonable and need to be more flexible, and that the sleeping arrangements aren’t set in stone. But surely you don’t just unilaterally change things like this last minute?!

DM has now waded in and is backing sibling, saying I’m being selfish and that we should “find a compromise” (but what compromise? DH and I aren’t going to split up for the sake of their random issue).

So, AIBU to think my sibling is being totally unfair and should just stick to the original plan? Or am I missing something here?

TL;DR: Sibling suddenly refusing to share with their DP on a trip, wants to take the spare room, leaving their DP to bunk with my child. I’ve said no, now I’m the bad guy. Who’s BU here?

Where is the dog sleeping?

Why do you need to keep a spare room ?

Your posts STILL don't make sense!
Why would your Sisters DP have to leave the room he was originally going to be in and share with your DC just because your sister now wants the separate box room nobody was going to be in?
You and DH bedroom one. Your DC bedroom two. Sisters DP in bedroom three (the one they would originally have shared) and sister in the single in the box room since shes the one adamant about not sharing with her own DP.

Or, is what you're trying and failing to get across, is that your sister wants her own room, but NOT the box room, so box room will continue to be "spare" and she's kicking her DP out of their shared room? In which case her DP should take box room, or DP is dropped from the trip as making your DC share with an Aunts Partner isn't on.

The gift that keeps on giving

FFS op.

Will you stop forget and explain WHY if your sibling decides to stay in the spare bedroom, that NO-ONE was sleeping it, does it mean your DC and their DP now need to bunk in?

bedroom 1 - you & your DP

bedroom 2 - your DCs

bedroom 3 - sibling & their DP

bedroom 4/boxroom - empty.

IF sibling moves into room 4, leaving their DP in Room 3, how does that impact your kids in Room 2???

THAT is what we're struggling to understand.

Why do you anticipate someone would need to find space away from their room partner? Presumably either you/ your husband or one of your children? Why is it so important that there is a spare room sat empty in case someone decides they need some space?

Because to me it sort of sounds like you were hoping to pay 50/50 for the place and then just let one of your children bag the spare bedroom so that your family is occupying 3/4 bedrooms and now you’re upset that you won’t be able to do that…

I think you are either of very low IQ or this is a wind up.

What the 6 yr old on the original booking? I think they are the real problem here!!

@jd206 - are there 4 rooms?

so who is in room 1
who is in room 2
who is in room 3
who is in room 4.

My brain is hurting now 😫

But … but… but…

WHERE HAS THE BED YOUR SISTER WAS GONNA SHARE WITH HER HUSBAND GONE?

Glad to see I'm not the only one who has no idea what the OP is on about.

If the box room was always supposed to be spare then why does this change the sleeping arrangements for anyone else at all?

BUT HOW? Dp has room that he was originally sharing with your sister

This has to be a wind up thread 😳

Op

I suggest you go back and read your own posts really really slowly.

You have made absolutely no sense whatsoever

So originally:

Room 1 - you and your DH

Room 2 - your 2 x DC

Room 3 - sibling and their partner

Room 4 - spare

Now new plan is:

Room 1 - you and your DH

Room 2 - your 2 x DC

Room 3 - siblings partner

Room 4 - sibling

I'm not sure how this results in your siblings partner having to share a room with your DC? Please can I have a diagram?

Why isn't the DP allowed to sleep in a room alone?

That is the only reason I can see that you would insist on moving one of your children in with him if he isn't sleeping the same room as his partner.

Congrats, your plan for a spare room in case someone needed it worked and the DP DOES need it to sleep in.
Well done you.

This!
In spite of all the requests for clarification op simply does not make sense.
Can't see any problem with sibling using spare room - it's spare! - others can go as originally planned.

Wtf op the room is spare, so it's going free for your sibling to use, your kids have a room to share yes? So WHY does the dp have to now share with one of your kids ?

Oh, why didn't you say? The bedroom they were supposed to be sharing with their partner has no bed. It all makes more sense now

Okay I get it.

kids need to be split up (but OP is keeping that secret, she fully intended to use three bedrooms from the beginning)
sis apparently now needs a bedroom to herself.

so

room 1: you + 1 child
room 2: DH + 1 child
room 3: BIL
room 4: SIS

The only way for you to split the kids up and still only use two bedrooms is for you and DH to have one child each, you've created this problem by lying about what bedroom requirements you need.. your needs don't trump theirs and if you are paying half each they are entitled to the use of two bedrooms.

YABU.

This is the worst laid out OP with the worst follow ups I have ever read.

I have lost the will to care where anyone sleeps-

having said that if she is changing the arrangements and wants her own space she gets the box room?
Seems obvious...

Which room doesn't have a bed and why?

They would have gotten away with it if it wasn’t for those pesky kids!

I think you solved the mystery scooby.

What are you on about? The room was spare and that's the room she has taken so how does that now mean your child is sharing with her partner? Isn't her partner staying in their original room?

Who is paying what?