To think my sibling is being totally unreasonable about sleeping arrangements on this trip?

[jd206]

Posting here for traffic because I need to know if I’m being mad or if my sibling is just being ridiculous.

We (me, DH, DCs, my sibling, and their DP) are going on a family trip soon. It’s been planned for ages, all agreed and booked. We’re staying in a big Airbnb-type place with multiple bedrooms. The plan was that DH and I would have one room, DCs in another, and my sibling and their DP in the third. There’s also a small box room with a single bed, which was just going to be a spare in case anyone needed it.

Now, sibling has suddenly decided that they don’t want to share a room with their DP because “they sleep badly together” (which is apparently news to everyone, including DP!). They’ve said they’ll be taking the box room instead, which means DP will now have to share with one of my DCs (who is 6 and not thrilled at the idea of sharing with an adult they barely know that well).

I told them that’s not fair and that they need to just suck it up and share with their DP as planned. They’re now saying I’m being unreasonable and need to be more flexible, and that the sleeping arrangements aren’t set in stone. But surely you don’t just unilaterally change things like this last minute?!

DM has now waded in and is backing sibling, saying I’m being selfish and that we should “find a compromise” (but what compromise? DH and I aren’t going to split up for the sake of their random issue).

So, AIBU to think my sibling is being totally unfair and should just stick to the original plan? Or am I missing something here?

TL;DR: Sibling suddenly refusing to share with their DP on a trip, wants to take the spare room, leaving their DP to bunk with my child. I’ve said no, now I’m the bad guy. Who’s BU here?

Well if your 6 year old doesn't want to share with BIL, then maybe BIL can share with you and your DP?

The repeated use of the word 'sibling' is a bit weird here, just makes everything more confusing

Bedroom 1 - op and dp
Bedroom 2 - kids
Bedroom 3 - bil/sil/they in-law
Bedroom 4 - initially a spare room, now used by 'sibling'

Yabu op, sorry

YOU'RE NOT MAKING ANY SENSE!

there's no need for a spare room....none.

surely you're the one changing things though, your original plan leaves a bedroom free for sis to use.. but if that bedroom isn't actually free then that is because you have changed the plans, not her.

Why not just be honest with her about why it needs to be done your way, you may find her more amenable if you actually explain why it won't work for you lot.

Saying you absolutely have to leave a bedroom empty is bonkers.

Is it two kids?

I'm so confused, are you ok op because you're explaining yourself terribly?

So originally
Room 1 you and DH
Room 2 DC
Room 3 sib and dp
Room 4 spare

What the hell happens that means room 3 disappears when your sibling goes in room 4? Surely that means your sibling is in room 4 and her dp in room 3 and the DC in room 2?

Why on earth would the dp share with the DC? That leaves room 3 empty??

I'm so bloody confused

Is the spare room the new “fly space”?

What happened to the bed in the room they were originally sharing?

This thread is beautiful, I've enjoyed it so much!

I get what you’re saying, but the issue is that my sibling has decided they must have the spare room to themselves, which means their DP is the one left without a bed. The only other option is for DP to share with one of my DCs, which obviously isn’t ideal!

Op is clearly a troll

What the what now?
You are arguing with your whole family in order to keep a room completely empty?
This level of petty antagonism before you even get on holiday does not bode well for a relaxing and harmonious trip…

Just answer this please op, we don't understand and you've not replied at all to this question.

Why can't the dp have the original bed that was allocated for them and your sibling?

I guess (haven't read full thread as alson
agree this is confusing), that you wanted one of your kids in the small box room sp they didn't end up sharing? And now that the sibling is in there and their dp in the originally assigned room, then this means they'd be bunking together?

Why as everyone else has said while pulling their hair out in exasperation like me, can the DP not just stay in 3rd assigned room, your sibling have the box (arbitrarily unassigned but still a physical bedroom), and you and your husband and kids have the other two rooms originally assigned in the tablet of stone? Then there is a none issue, unless you had ideas for the box room yourself.

Did you really all agree that you must have accommodation with a spare room on the off chance that someone would be ill, needed a break etc? Or is it that the accommodation you chose just happens to have a spare room?
Either way, there is a spare room and there is no reason why it can't be used as a 'permanent bedroom'. Should someone actually become ill or need a break etc then you can discuss what should happen at the time.
It's you that's making it awkward OP. And I still don't understand why the spare room being used to sleep in, means that your sibling's partner needs to share a room with your child.

YOU are the problem here

it is a spare room!? its exactly that...spare!?

so the DP sleeps in the SPARE room, it really is that simple

kindly get a grip

We play a terribly confusing party game where you all swap seats on various sofas whilst exchanging slips of paper with fictitious names on - so you have to remember who is currently ‘Mickey Mouse’ whilst attempting to call your team mate into the space to fill up your sofa . The golden rule is at all times there must be a space if you fill the space you end the game.
It’s the only possible explanation.

Good god you're insufferable.

Ooh this. It could be the start of a beautiful relationship.

Can’t wait for the post-holiday ‘My sister is swinging with my DH’ thread.

For the love of God women. Make some sense.

your dc had own bedroom!!! Why are they sharing the box room all of the sudden?!??

1 bedroom- you and husband
2nd bedroom - sibling and dp
3rd bedroom- your dc
box room - spare

do you get why everyone is confused?!

I've read the whole thing and this is the only theory that makes any sense. OP wants BIL to vacate Bedroom 3 and go in Bedroom 2 with her kids, to create a new spare room. I think? 🤔😂

Original plan:

Bedroom 1 - @jd206 and her dp.
Bedroom 2 - @jd206‘s dc.
Bedroom3 - @jd206‘s sibling and their dp.
Boxroom - spare single bed.

I suspect @jd206 had her eye on the boxroom for one of her dc, so both her dc would have their own room, but her sibling has kiboshed that.

But the new arrangements do not mean that the siblings do has to bunk in with any of the children because:

Bedroom 1 - @jd206 and her dp.
Bedroom 2 - @jd206ks dc.
Bedroom 3 - the sibling’s do.
Boxroom - @jd206‘s sibling.

Easy peasy.

If the child had to sleep in the same room as the adult, that might be unreasonable, but that is not the case, so it is you who is being rather rigid.

What are you talking about your dp having to share with your 6 year old.

So:
Before:
Bedroom 1: you and your DH
Bedroom 2: your kids
Bedroom 3: your sibling and bf/ gf
Bedroom 4: spare

Now:
Bedroom 1: you and your DH
Bedroom 2: your kids
Bedroom 3: your sibling
Bedroom 4: sibling’s bf/gf

So what’s the problem? Everyone has somewhere to sleep. Nobody is now sharing who weren’t already. Why does your child suddenly need to share with sibling’s bf/ gf?

I get it @jd206 ignore the onions. The lightbulbs are in the second drawer down next to the goat tape and to be honest Mary can find her own way to San Jose, it’s not like it’s her first kebab. Good luck and champagne kisses. Enjoy the horizon for me.

Are you such a massive Malory Towers fan that any house/accommodation without a dedicated sanatorium just doesn't feel proper?