Sorry it’s a long one. This is not about my dog’s behaviour but background for context..
We rescued a puppy before lockdown and after lockdown he was very reactive to any male visitors ( he was fine with children and women) coming to the house. He is now ok with people he knows but barks at any men he doesn’t know. He is a big Labrador and can look scary. He is ok outside, in other people’s houses, hotels etc. We tried everything and at the end his psychologist diagnosed him with anxiety and prescribed Prozac.
My best friend has a boyfriend ( let’s call him Ben ) and they have been seeing each other for about 7months. He didn’t meet her children yet but we met him a few times. I mentioned our dog to Ben and I said once the dog gets to know him outside the house, we will have them over for dinner. He thought it’s ridiculous that he needs to make an effort to meet the dog. I completely understand that but that’s what all of our other friends did and it worked. Ben said this anxious behaviour should be beaten out of him. My friend’s teenage daughter is suffering with anxiety and although I know dogs and humans are not the same, beating is never the answer! Last Sunday, we were planning to go for a dog walk and my friend asked if she and Ben can come along and then we can go to the pub for lunch. On the walk Ben was making mean remarks about our dog for no reason. In the pub, our dog would usually sit under the table by my DP’s feet but it takes him maybe 10min to settle. Normally we ignore him and he is fine. Ben was constantly bothering him, growling in his face and trying to pull him close. We were all telling him to leave the dog alone but he said he is just playing. As I predicted our dog started barking at him and Ben started barking back at him. My DP is holding on to the dog and I’m telling Ben to stop provoking him. The whole pub was looking at us like we are insane. I said to Ben to leave the dog alone because he can bite him. I only said that to stop him barking at the dog like a lunatic. Our dog never bitten anyone but it’s an animal and so it’s unpredictable when provoked. Ben said ( with the smirk on his face )that if he bites him he will need to be put down. After the whole scene my DP and I left. Later I spoke to my friend and she said the reason Ben was like that because he is scared of the dogs as he was once bitten. Would you be provoking a dog if you are scared of it? I know not everyone likes dogs. But those comments make me very wary of him and makes me think he is not as kind as he portrayed himself. Or I am overthinking it? Again this is not about the dog rather about Ben’s behaviour. There is something bothering me and I can’t put my finger on it. And AIBU to tell my friend to rethink the relationship?