She wants the gifted money back

[HereForItMaybe]

I'll keep it short - DM very kindly gifted myself and my brother £50k each, 5 years ago.

She has now asked for it back. My brother has not been asked.

AIBU to say no?

When you say you used it to purchase a house so you could sell it, do you mean you you used it to buy and then sold at a profit? Could it be she sees that profit as something she had some kind of claim on?

I think the op means if she were to give the money to her mother, she would need to sell the house in order to be able to do that.

That's incredibly unreasonable of her . Is this the house you live in ? In which case it's even more unreasonable -or was it a second house bought to do up and sell etc??

How awful of her to ask, especially only one child and awful of your aunt to back her up. She could ask to borrow money but not take a gift back! But I agree this is such a difficult situation if she doesn't see how unreasonable she is being.

My mother did this to me.

Gave me £5k of her (much larger) inheritance to help me out when I was in a rough situation, then a year later out of the blue, my step-dad phoned threatening to kill me if I didn’t pay it back.

She’d told him I’d refused to give it back when she hadn’t even asked me for it. Hadn’t even mentioned it.

I took out a high-interest loan that crippled me for years.

I don’t think she can ask for it back unfortunately

How was it given. ? Fir you to buy a house on the understanding she may need it back in the future?

Is she struggling ?

ask her for the box of chocolates, theatre tickets, <<insert whatever gift>>you gave her back.

Sounds as though your DB anticipated that she might ask for it back and chose to spend it to avoid the predicament you’re in. I’d state that legally - and morally - she is not entitled to it back and that the terms and conditions of your mortgage mean you are locked in so you can’t even sell your home to give it back anyway (even if that is a blatant lie). You did all the paperwork to evidence it was a gift at the time. She will have to get over it.

Is it worth running the idea past your DB first, just in case he would cough up for £50K? I mean, I wouldn’t be able to in either of your situations and I don’t think your DM is being at all reasonable here, so I would hope he’d just laugh, but you don’t want to shoot yourself in the foot.

Nope. This isn't an emergency. She can't take the gifted money back.

If it was me, if my mum was really struggling I'd try and help her out. But this isn't struggling.

make it very clear to her that you will have to sell your home and it will costs you ££££ in fees/stamp duty to give her that money back.

"Sorry I can't, the money's in the house." And repeat if necessary. Nothing further. She seems the type that if you give an inch she'll take a mile.

But why should you have to sell your home just so she can downsize but to a nicer area , just because she "wants a change"?

DB isn't being asked to sell his home - and he had his fancy holiday that you didn't.

I can’t believe some people are suggesting you have some kind of obligation to pay her anything, it was a gift she cannot suddenly make it a loan because she feels like it- that’s not how gifts work.

Did she mean it as loan? Wouldn't expect to return a gift, but then I've never been gifted that amount of money. I would try to help out if she's struggling for money.

Gosh that’s awful, you should’ve called the police rather than getting a loan, thats criminal. I’m so sorry you went through that.

are you sure your brother and mother will tell you the truth?
they don't seem like the most trustworthy people from what you've said.
what if she says 'Well Jack has scraped together £20k to give me,' how will you know whether he has or not?

I would just say 'Sorry mum, I would have to sell my house to give you the money back. Are you saying you want me to be homeless?' Even if you managed to buy or rent somewhere else, the cost of estate agents fees, solicitors, stamp duty or equivalent, moving fees, ERP on your mortgage, etc would mean her 'gift' ended up costing you money!

Just keep repeating 'Like brother I don't have it to give. I can't afford to sell my house.' And your aunt can butt out.

No, she didn’t. It was a gift.

She also isnt struggling. She is bored and fancies a change and wants to move to a posh area she can’t afford unless she guilts her daughter into selling her home or selling her car and taking out loans to fund it for her.

Your mum would actually sit back and let you sell your house?! Bloody hell blimey

Does she seriously want you to sell your house so she can move? If so, I think this would be the end of the relationship for me.

Is she really expecting you to sell your house ? Did you say this to her?

I agree, clearly a police matter.

This is actually nuts. She gave it to you. You bought a house using the money. Does she want you to lose your home?

You're not greedy. She's off her rocker. Unreasonable in the extreme.

I agree with @GoodOnPaper. The £50k to both OP and her brother were generous gifts. OP’s mum clearly wants to downsize and move somewhere outside of her budget. OP should reach out to her brother so that there could be some way for you both to help without the pressure being solely on OP. It goes without saying OP shouldn’t sell her house and perhaps there’s a way to see how much is actually needed and then OP can work with her brother and her mother and come to an amenable solution.