In not making child do homework

[Qwerty21]

My child is given spellings to do 4 nights a week, a homework sheet per week and a school reading book. In year 3. I used to battle with them most nights to do that spellings and get the homework sheet done. We occasionally read the school book but that was another fight too. I've got to the point now where I've said enough is enough and I'm not forcing it anymore. Our evenings have drastically improved, there's far less moodiness and raised voices. But I'm wondering if I'm doing them an injustice but not enforcing it. They aren't falling behind at school, in fact in most areas they are ahead. And we read every night before bed, just not the school book.
I'll be honest in saying I found fitting in the homework a pain around my work, and my child's after school activities, there's only one evening a week we're actually free from after school pick up til bedtime. But if the general consensus is that doing the homework is more beneficial than the stress it causes us both then I'll reconsider my decision.

I didn't agree with homework in primary years. For me, proper family dinner, conversation, bath if needed and 7pm settle down to sleep after stories were more important, and there's only so much time, especially as most families need two salaries to manage.

Secondary is fine as bedtime is later

I don't "make" mine do it either! Yr5 and Yr6 although the latter chooses to go to homework club but refuses at home... but ynbu

Hangman a good shout. Used to play that with mine for hours. Still do Wordle with my 16 year old when we’re out.

And same with piano! Effing hated it. Remember eventually sitting there and the teacher (who I didn’t relate to and didn’t teach me any music I knew or liked), asked me if she wanted me to tell my mum I didn’t want to do it. I said yes. Never forget my mum bounding up the path to pick me up and her crest-fallen face when the teacher said I’d admitted I didn’t want to come any more. I felt bloody terrible but didn’t even have a piano at home to practice on lol.

Turned me off for years. If I had my own place, I’d buy an old piano now and teach myself, as I love music and would love to have sings songs when my mates come over for a few jars.

It's absolutely not lazy parenting. At primary age the best that you can do with kids is get them to read to you or you read them a bedtime story whilst they follow along. If they really struggle with spellings, then maybe help them practice those, but i wouldn't be doing any more than that.

My dc were so much happier when they felt like they weren't struggling and getting good marks so I helped them with spellings, timetables and extra maths as well as reading every day.
The extra stuff was about 20 mins 3 times a week and made a big difference.

There’s no benefit to homework in primary school, especially if the child is getting good grades. I didn’t force mine either.

Schools really do need to get up to speed. There’s quite a lot of research evidence to show that giving kids loads of homework has more detrimental than beneficial effects. If your child is doing well then I would carry on what you’re doing.

I asked the question 'do you have children?' because I thought you either must not have any or your children were much older because you would know that these days most of their learning is online, so how would you do their spelling 'walking to school' as you suggested - unless they're walking with their head in a tablet?

I just read the article you posted and one of its arguments is (pasting directly in):

“Homework may also increase inequalities between pupils. High achievers from economically privileged backgrounds may have greater parental support for homework, including more educated assistance, higher expectations and better settings and resources.”

The fact they argue that homework increases inequality signals to me that the study is at least in part ideologically motivated (i.e., homework is bad because it disproportionately benefits privileged children).

I’m not sold on the argument. Think any child benefits from a routine and some discipline, as long as they’re old enough to focus, and as long as you can enforce that without creating counterproductive stress. (Yes those are two massive caveats! One of my children is ND and we also had to make adjustments around homework to avoid making them hate school!)

YANBU. My parents refused to make me do homework until I was in secondary school. I was still one of the top of my year all through primary, and I won the school leavers' prize as well.

My DCs are Yr4 & Yr2. As a family, we encourage them reading a book of their choice at bedtime in their own rooms quietly as a calm down time. (DC2 is currently reading the first Harry Potter) We do spellings and what I refer to as mental maths (they call it something different) on the walk to/from school/shops (not every day but when they're dragging their heels as it's a great distraction). Homework tasks are completed over the weekend & once completed they're allowed device time which is a great incentive 🤣
Don't get me wrong, getting them to do a single A4 page can be immensely frustrating, but it's important to build good habits for when they go to secondary.

I would disagree where my DD is concerned. She is not currently happy with high school, many reasons, the main one being inconsistent treatment of children, problem children being rewarded for a few days good behaviour ( saw plenty of this in primary too) and shit substitute teachers who hand out unfair punishments. There is also lack of sympathy for theft, DD has had a few items taken, but as they are what the school would consider unnecessary in school they have little sympathy, as we have, though we don’t agree with the theft we also think she’s silly for risking taking into school, but at the same time understand she’s doing what tween/teens do. An example being her expensive Tower 28 hand sanitizer a relative bought her from the states was nicked the first day she took it into school. As you’d expect no sympathy from teachers leads to an already upset childbeing even more upset. It was after school but because she was so upset she called me while still technically on school grounds. My dd got punished but no interest in finding the thief even though almost every child present willing emptied their bags to show my dd it wasn’t them, except 1, the teacher just left as it was home time leaving my 12 yo bawling her eyes out because she lost a gift. It wouldn’t have upset her as much if she had paid for it.

Dd has had food and rocks thrown at her by a child in the same year who has been rewarded for good behaviour. These are her issues. Doing homework which is expected of her and which we warned her about for years, is not one of them.

Personally, I would do as the school says. The homework is there to benefit your child, not the school. It isn’t the teacher’s problem if you don’t support your child to do it. A little bit of learning with your 1:1 attention every night will make a difference. I’d bribe your dc to do it.

Of course it’s for the school, they are the ones who get tested on a child’s performance, not the parents.

My DDs school were raving last year about the best ever SATs results, we are amazing especially under the new HT and yes the school looks amazing! What’s not taken into consideration is that 9 out of the 15 children to take SATs had external turtors because of worries the parents had, especially with the new HT.

You’re not answering a very important question for anyone to give you an accurate answer, how old?

RTFT!

My child is given spellings to do 4 nights a week, a homework sheet per week and a school reading book. In year 3. I used to battle with them most nights to do that spellings and get the homework sheet done.

Not every country uses the same class/age system and the site has contributors from all over. I don't know what age corresponds with year 2, 3 and so on.

All the evidence points to primary school homework being useless at best and damaging at worst. There is absolutely no case for it in terms of educational achievement or engagement in learning.

Reading is what matters. If you're reading together, the rest is irrelevant.

I’m so sorry, I missed the important part of your thread. The child’s age. I’m sorry again

We got a letter home from DC’s school this year saying they’ve scrapped spelling tests as there’s no evidence to show it actually works for retaining information longer term.

I did not make my kids do any homework at all. A full day at school is sufficient. I did however fully encourage pleasure reading & they became book worms. One for a first class in classics from St Andrews and the other acing it at Glasgow university.
Reading is the best thing you can make them love.

There is no benefit to homework in primary school. At that age play based learning, as in just playing, is how children learn. Ask the teacher for the research evidence of how homework helps. There isn’t any.

Whether you do all of the homework or not I think the important things are that you are familiar with what your child is learning, you don't express negativity about homework and you don't encourage your child to think they are special or different enough to not have to do the home work when every other kid does it.
Positivity in the work, support and respect for their teacher - reinforcing that what they are learning is important.
My kids completed most homework on time, or apologised and had a valid excuse.
They had a reader and 10 weekly spelling words.
You can do spelling in a car, if need be.

I'd assume you were complaining about this is was reception or year 1. It sounds readable for a year 3 child. Don't be so lazy

Don’t do that. It will be a school policy , set by the leadership team. The teacher may well not agree with homework either but it’s probably not their choice. Challenge the head if you want , but the poor teacher doesn’t need that.