To be honest when I resign

[Cctviswatchingme001]

Started a new job as a Nanny 6 weeks ago. Mother is not easy to work with. I'm a 40 plus year old mature woman with three teenagers and I have been a childminder/nanny for 14 years. She micro manages everything. Checks my times on the ring doorbell and on their alarm system. Has changed days most weeks since I started and it takes three days for me to be paid after I finish my hours for the week. She is quite dismissive when I tell her I haven't been paid yet. I might add that she demands he is brought to a different play group everyday. I've no problem with this if they were local but they are usually a bus ride or tram away and she doesnt reimburse me for my travel expenses.

Today my throat was hoarse and I have a cough( caught it from her DD). I took tablets and powered on. I was hoping for a gentle day at home playing with toys etc but no she told me he needs to go out and bring him to the library 20 minutes away in the pissings of rain. She was and is not interested in the library. We went for an hour and I feel sick physically.

I know I'm leaving and I want to be honest. I don't need a reference from her as I have excellent references already. Should I be honest and let her know I'm leaving because of her basically. Little girl is a sweet little thing by the way.

But you ARE being unreasomable to have agreed to take the child on longer journeys at your own expense. All the other stuff is annoying shit that makes this woman unpleasant to work for, but THAT is completely unacceptable and I would have refused from day 1.

No need. Hopefully she'll figure it out after the next few nannies leave.

The micromanaging would do it for me so I'd tell her.

I would for the sake of the child, as you don't want her to have a revolving door of nannies.

Tell her it's not acceptable to have to pay for expenses yourself, and some give and take is usual if you're feeling unwell.

The pay side of things, what was agreed?

I really wouldn't be honest. There's no benefit to you, she won't take it on board anyway.

@MuggleMe I told her I required payment when I finish my shift and she agreed. I've literally had to text her every week since I started to tell her I haven't got paid yet. She replies after a day and tells me it was transferred but its lies.

Just text her what she owes you for the travel and be assertive. It’s ridiculous that she would expect you to pay for expenses. Good luck with finding a much more amenable employer I’m sure you will be in demand.

I wouldn't bother tbh. At best she will ignore your comments and at worst she'll argue with you. If she was the type to take your comments on board she wouldn't be such a micro-managing piss taker in the first place.

I think let her know your issues. As a PP says it's constructive and may help her find someone who will stay if she bucks her ideas up. Which is best for the kid. Frame it as this.

She needs to pay travel expenses if travel to activities is part of the role. She needs to pay on the agreed date. Hours and days should be agreed in advance, not chopped and changed (unless this flexibility is contractual), I suppose checking your arrival time is fair enough but worth mentioning as part of a wider pattern of micromanagement. Some consideration of valued staff's wellbeing and trust to do a good job even without going out in the rain would be appropriate too.

If she wants that much control she should be looking after her child herself. And I say that as someone who works full time!

I would tell her, but try and do it in a nice way. Compare to previous employers, say "As an experienced childminder I am used to being more independent and using my initiative than I am able to do here" rather than saying she micromanages.

Nah, she won't listen / pay attention and could badmouth you locally

Be professional and take the moral high ground

@Waterboatlass Im always on time, in fact I arrive 10 minutes early and wait for her to return from school run. She literally pushs the buggy towards me and tells me where to go that day. Sometimes the activities don't start for another 90 minutes but she just says, oh go the park before it. She checks thr ring doorbell to see how long I've been gone and to make sure I'm basically in and out all day with her DD.

Days were agreed in advance but if I don't work the days she requires I don't get paid.

Be honest say sorry you cannot basically outsource your mother duties then be so picky and sorry no expenses paid no going anywhere .if you are going to do this uour child will have a revolving door of short stay carers either be better to employees or look after your own child

Nope, I would just leave her in the shit to be honest. She sounds dreadful. You sound great with young children and very reasonable. I'm sure you will find new work soon.

Fuck that!!

Leave asap. State before you leave that you realise that she hasn't paid for travel expenses, so add that to your final invoice (payable within a week max). If she doesn't pay, send a letter before action and then go to the small claims court.

Also if you have an online account with the transport company (e.g. TfL), as she likes micromanaging so much, I'd include an itemised list of all journeys for her to enjoy 😈

She sounds a nightmare. Don’t tell her you are leaving, make sure your last payment is in your bank/hand, give her a little present for her child (who is not to blame here), THEN tell her she won’t be seeing you again. If she asks you why, tell her you are sure she will work it out! The satisfaction of her dilemma will take you sweetly into your next job!

😈🤭

God I feel you
I work with a family and am pulling my hair out
Theyre meant to be pay on a set day every week and its never that day!!
Often its ateast 5 days late and most of my texts/calls are ignored
I never see the billpayer as they are the breadwinner
Its exhausting
If you can find alternative employment leave
I cant as its a niche and fits arounf all my other commitments perfectly

Oh I'm definitely waiting until I receive my wages before I leave.

Sounds like pure hell and I would absolutely tell her. I'd also warn other local nannies if you're connected to any.

Christ that’s so tedious. To my shame I have forgotten to pay my nanny 3 times in 18 months - when she text me I’ve transferred it INSTANTLY and apologised. I felt mortified.

I bet she’s not ok if her work just don’t pay her when expected.

She should absolutely cover all travel and entrance costs etc.

It’s great if you can make your revenge work for you. Back in the 90’s, I had a work mobile phone, paid my personal calls each month identified by the bill. Cue some clever little cost saving pillock trying to make a name for himself. “Oh you don’t need that now you are based at xxxx” Gave it him back. Next question from pillock was “how do we contact you in an emergency?” 😈 “You can’t, I don’t have a landline, and my mobile is private”🤣🤣 I never had to do call outs again🥳 Get in there! 🤣🤣

She sounds horrendous.

Do you deal with the father at all?

Be honest with constructive feedback. No insults. Be factual.

she will be majorly pissed off with the upheaval of trying to find another nanny but thats her problem 🤷🏻‍♀️