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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To be honest when I resign

146 replies

Cctviswatchingme001 · 11/02/2025 15:03

Started a new job as a Nanny 6 weeks ago. Mother is not easy to work with. I'm a 40 plus year old mature woman with three teenagers and I have been a childminder/nanny for 14 years. She micro manages everything. Checks my times on the ring doorbell and on their alarm system. Has changed days most weeks since I started and it takes three days for me to be paid after I finish my hours for the week. She is quite dismissive when I tell her I haven't been paid yet. I might add that she demands he is brought to a different play group everyday. I've no problem with this if they were local but they are usually a bus ride or tram away and she doesnt reimburse me for my travel expenses.

Today my throat was hoarse and I have a cough( caught it from her DD). I took tablets and powered on. I was hoping for a gentle day at home playing with toys etc but no she told me he needs to go out and bring him to the library 20 minutes away in the pissings of rain. She was and is not interested in the library. We went for an hour and I feel sick physically.

I know I'm leaving and I want to be honest. I don't need a reference from her as I have excellent references already. Should I be honest and let her know I'm leaving because of her basically. Little girl is a sweet little thing by the way.

OP posts:
mumedu · 13/02/2025 21:19

Well done for knowing your own worth, OP. The 30 minute deduction is petty, considering they didn't offer to pay for expenses. Terrible people, bad karma. Good luck, OP.

CluelessInBristol · 13/02/2025 21:25

You're not in Bristol are you, OP?! I'm desperate for a nanny for my lovely 2yo daughter and no monitoring here!

Iamallowedtodisagreewithyou · 13/02/2025 21:31

They deducted 30 minutes from your wages? Before they even knew you were resigning?

I'm not surprised you left. There are some really lovely people out there looking for nannies.

Original poster
Cctviswatchingme001 · 13/02/2025 21:31

@CluelessInBristol , sorry I'm not unfortunately.

OP posts:
Thunderpants88 · 14/02/2025 00:14

MrsMoastyToasty · 11/02/2025 16:57

I would bring words like ACAS and employment solicitor into the conversation. A contract of employment works 2 ways. It tells you when you get paid and it's her obligation to pay you.

Not if it’s under 2 years of employment.

Also, give advice based on fact not on vague knowledge

wizzywig · 14/02/2025 09:20

I gave you a fist bump when I saw you'd resigned. GOOD ON YOU!

Quitelikeit · 14/02/2025 09:27

What awful people

Original poster
Cctviswatchingme001 · 14/02/2025 14:13

Another update - she replied this morning. This is a brief synopsis of her response.

● How dare I expect to be paid for time not worked. Her husband arrived home 15 minutes early and 10 minutes early and did not need me anymore so why should I be paid.
● It takes time for bank transfers and that's why I don't get paid on the day I finish as they need to work out exactly how many hours I worked that week.
● Why would I need to be reimbursed for taking the bus, all the Childminders she knows buy their own travel cards and use them as and when needed. Am I that hard up for a couple of quid twice a week. I should see the days out on the bus a positive part of my job as I mixing with other Childminders.
● Regarding the ring doorbell. I'm paying you to look after my child and take her out, not sit on your arse at home. She needs to be brought out every morning until her nap at 12pm and then out again after nap and lunch until 4pm when husband is nearly home.
● I am a money grabbing shit nanny and she is going to tell everybody in her parents what's app groups to stay away from me.

There you go.

OP posts:
DaringlyDizzy · 14/02/2025 14:16

Cctviswatchingme001 · 14/02/2025 14:13

Another update - she replied this morning. This is a brief synopsis of her response.

● How dare I expect to be paid for time not worked. Her husband arrived home 15 minutes early and 10 minutes early and did not need me anymore so why should I be paid.
● It takes time for bank transfers and that's why I don't get paid on the day I finish as they need to work out exactly how many hours I worked that week.
● Why would I need to be reimbursed for taking the bus, all the Childminders she knows buy their own travel cards and use them as and when needed. Am I that hard up for a couple of quid twice a week. I should see the days out on the bus a positive part of my job as I mixing with other Childminders.
● Regarding the ring doorbell. I'm paying you to look after my child and take her out, not sit on your arse at home. She needs to be brought out every morning until her nap at 12pm and then out again after nap and lunch until 4pm when husband is nearly home.
● I am a money grabbing shit nanny and she is going to tell everybody in her parents what's app groups to stay away from me.

There you go.

What an awful woman!!!!!

Original poster
Cctviswatchingme001 · 14/02/2025 14:21

@DaringlyDizzy , I have never encountered any parent like her in all my years. I gave her my last five references to check. I'm still on very good terms with these families and they send me updates on their children.

I did report her to the childminding agency last night and I can see she has relisted her ad this morning. I reported her again with the message she sent me this morning.

OP posts:
SofaSpuds · 14/02/2025 14:22

Cctviswatchingme001 · 14/02/2025 14:13

Another update - she replied this morning. This is a brief synopsis of her response.

● How dare I expect to be paid for time not worked. Her husband arrived home 15 minutes early and 10 minutes early and did not need me anymore so why should I be paid.
● It takes time for bank transfers and that's why I don't get paid on the day I finish as they need to work out exactly how many hours I worked that week.
● Why would I need to be reimbursed for taking the bus, all the Childminders she knows buy their own travel cards and use them as and when needed. Am I that hard up for a couple of quid twice a week. I should see the days out on the bus a positive part of my job as I mixing with other Childminders.
● Regarding the ring doorbell. I'm paying you to look after my child and take her out, not sit on your arse at home. She needs to be brought out every morning until her nap at 12pm and then out again after nap and lunch until 4pm when husband is nearly home.
● I am a money grabbing shit nanny and she is going to tell everybody in her parents what's app groups to stay away from me.

There you go.

Fuck me!!!
Equally I hope you tell every childminder/ nanny/ babysitter you know to avoid her and her DH like the plague!!

User7288339 · 14/02/2025 14:23

I wouldn't unless she asks you

SofaSpuds · 14/02/2025 14:25

User7288339 · 14/02/2025 14:23

I wouldn't unless she asks you

You wouldn't what??

User7288339 · 14/02/2025 14:26

....have been honest about the reasons for resigning unless asked

HabitHoarder · 14/02/2025 14:27

Wow! Poor kid growing up with that 🙀

SofaSpuds · 14/02/2025 14:28

User7288339 · 14/02/2025 14:26

....have been honest about the reasons for resigning unless asked

Ah! You may want to read OP's most recent post... only 2 and 4 posts above your own.
It's a doozy!

Viviennemary · 14/02/2025 14:30

No point.Just say it's not working for me.

Viviennemary · 14/02/2025 14:34

Oh you've reigned. Good decision.

Original poster
Cctviswatchingme001 · 14/02/2025 14:39

Just to add, he is a teacher in a school but also has his own English school that brings over foreign students throughout the year. He was paying me through his company account which means he could write of a good majority of his tax owed as he would put me down as an employee, even though I'm employed by him personally and not his business. Mother has a very senior role in a primary care health clinic. Can't imagine how she speaks to colleagues and patients.

OP posts:
wizzywig · 14/02/2025 14:40

But she employed you as a nanny not a child minder. She is a cow.

Mizztikle · 14/02/2025 14:44

So basically she wanted you to be the child's mother not her nanny. I bet your kicking yourself for not leaving sooner, she's an ars£h0le!

RandomMess · 14/02/2025 14:46

I'd be tempted to report him to HMRC tbh.

WigglyVonWaggly · 14/02/2025 14:52

She’s a nasty cow and I hope her working week is spectacularly screwed up now you’ve quit. Might make her a little appreciative of what she’s missing.

It’s a lie that bank payments take days to go through. A simple bank transfer should appear almost instantaneously (unless on a very rare occasion it is flagged for money laundering / fraud etc etc, which isn’t what has happened).

Their response is disgusting; please keep it as evidence to any other prospective agency etc in case she tries to badmouth you at any later date.

WigglyVonWaggly · 14/02/2025 14:54

Also, absolutely report him to HMRC! Make that your parting tip of the hat to these CFs.

orzomushroom · 14/02/2025 14:56

Please keep this message as evidence if there are any problems.
I would reply back in a very measured,professional way answering her bullet points so you have evidence as to who is the unreasonable person .
What a horrible human being…god help her poor child!!