To be honest when I resign

[Cctviswatchingme001]

Started a new job as a Nanny 6 weeks ago. Mother is not easy to work with. I'm a 40 plus year old mature woman with three teenagers and I have been a childminder/nanny for 14 years. She micro manages everything. Checks my times on the ring doorbell and on their alarm system. Has changed days most weeks since I started and it takes three days for me to be paid after I finish my hours for the week. She is quite dismissive when I tell her I haven't been paid yet. I might add that she demands he is brought to a different play group everyday. I've no problem with this if they were local but they are usually a bus ride or tram away and she doesnt reimburse me for my travel expenses.

Today my throat was hoarse and I have a cough( caught it from her DD). I took tablets and powered on. I was hoping for a gentle day at home playing with toys etc but no she told me he needs to go out and bring him to the library 20 minutes away in the pissings of rain. She was and is not interested in the library. We went for an hour and I feel sick physically.

I know I'm leaving and I want to be honest. I don't need a reference from her as I have excellent references already. Should I be honest and let her know I'm leaving because of her basically. Little girl is a sweet little thing by the way.

This is good.

Don't be an enabler , which is what we do when we don't call out bad behaviour.

Sometimes it takes one person standing up to someone for change to happen.

She will then be aware of her behaviour and it will hopefully save the next nanny from her antics.

This!

I would tell her.

It won't make a difference to her but I still would anyway.

Some people have to learn things the hard way.

When she's on nanny 24, the penny might finally drop but she'll never admit it to anyone.

This. Please don’t be honest with her. She doesn’t deserve it and she could be vindictive, given her previous behaviour.

Yes she is being nice to you now as there is a vested interest to be nice.

She needs to be nice now so you can help her. This is probably as nice as she gets. She doesn’t need to be nice next week, when you tell her she is a crap person to work with. And she won’t bother. She will be as nasty as they come. She will shoot the messenger and bad mouth you all over town.

I would go with being honest but stay professional and say something like "I am used to working with more autonomy and trust - I'm also uncomfortable having to regularly ask for my wages when they aren't paid as agreed".

If it won’t harm you, tell her. And disconnect the doorbell before you leave. 😃

I’m sorry your experience with this mother has been so poor, but I would absolutely tell her why you are resigning, though perhaps in writing once you’ve finished. A but like an exit interview/report. If only to make myself feel better and in the hope it might take seed before hiring the next nanny.

Make sure you are paid and uptodate before doing so, though!

To be honest I’d expect everything except the short notice changes (yes some times it happens but not weekly) and the non reimbursement of travel. That should be included.

the library one is totally on you. If you’re not well enough to work you shouldn’t be at work. A 20 min walk whether raining or not is not going to kill you. Nor does it matter if the child is interested or not, it’s about socialising and exposure.

I wouldn’t want you as my nanny personally based on your comments and negativity towards doing anything with the child.

again in regards to wages is this a cash in hand agreement? Otherwise I’d expect a 3 day TAT for payment is reasonably (though personally I’d expect it to be in my contract to be paid at specific time, ideally in advance)

Honestly op, she doesn't know she's born with you! But it seems she also has utter disdain for you.

I would definitely say that you need reimbursement for the travel. Please don't let her get away with that. Also, insist on payment on the correct day. Always..

Presumably you are leaving after a fairly short time. I just wouldn't say anything, just put your notice in. If she asks just be very factual about non reimbursement and late payment. At least that might make it better for future nannies.

I couldn’t cope with the micromanaging either. Nor would I expect anyone to be out of pocket for travelling with my child/children. YANBU.
I have a child minder occasionally, I am very much ‘bedtime is usually x time give or take 30 mins, at your own discretion’ and a general run down of what food is there for meals/snacks. Taking them out? Fab. Let me know if it adds extra expense and I’ll pay it upfront. I couldn’t really care if they were plotting about the garden or had made their way to the zoo. Priority is my child’s needs are taken care of and at some point or another they had some outdoor time (weather depending). I don’t expect the childminder to do anything I wouldn’t. The pay thing would piss me off too, why should you wait to be paid when it was discussed upfront?

My grandmother told me to never piss off one's nanny, cleaner, mother in law and solicitor.

Also always have ice, lemon, chilled champagne in the fridge and clean drawers in your handbag

She a absolutely needs, nay deserves, you to be brutally honest with her about her behaviour, in an ideal world it would help the next poor sod who takes on the job, but unfortunately she will probably put it all down to you moaning and groaning to excuse your leaving....

How old is this woman?

I think you should be honest with her

She sounds hideous . You are a professional with many years experience...she should trust you to make sensible, informed and suitable decisions

You deserve better

☂️ LTB

It’s fairly obvious that she knows you’re being treated unfairly and that’s why she pays you late - because that way you will end up working for nothing. You’ve only been there for 6 weeks, so check your contract for notice period requirements, and stick to them. Keep communication in writing, so you can evidence it. Be prepared to go to small claims court for money outstanding, including expenses. If you were placed there through an agency, flag her up.

What a twat!
Why would you treat someone so badly that mind your children?

Don't tell her just leave. The world is such a small place and it's never wise to leave on a bad note. Never burn bridges is my moto

Just say to her this isn’t working out I’m sorry. if she asks why tell her the truth also tell her your meant to get paid as you agreed she would not do this in a supermarket she sounds a nightmare tbh. Use this as your probation notice.

THIS

Thank you everyone. So I just resigned with immediate effect. Payment went through two days late and they deducted me 30 minutes. My working hours are 9am to 4.30pm. Husband got home at 4.15pm and 4.20pm the two days I worked this week. I was pottering around tidying up toys and he told me I could go home. It was the final straw. I immediately messaged the mother to say I will not be returning as I have never been treated with such disrespect in all my years as a childminder and nanny. I said I didn't appreciate bring monitored on their ring doorbell and alarm system and they deducted money but expected me to pay for bus fares out of my own pocket. I have also reported her to the agency that I got the job through.

Good for you! The absolute cheek of them deducting 30 minutes 🥴😲

I hate people like her! Who the hell does she think she is? You aren't a servant, she isn't above you.. She either leaves you alone to do your job, or do it herself(is her job after all as a mum, why have the kid?)
Def needs to be put in her place, she wouldn't have what she does, or job, if you(or who ever) wasn't looking after her child.

You help her she helps you, I can't stand this Brainwashing, people think they are better than others because of money, or position in work etc. No one can have what they have if it wasn't for others. Everyone works for each other, no one is better than anyone

Has she responded to your resignation OP?

@FoxtonFoxton , not yet. I'm probably too beneath her to reply. Message has gone through though.