To be honest when I resign

[Cctviswatchingme001]

Started a new job as a Nanny 6 weeks ago. Mother is not easy to work with. I'm a 40 plus year old mature woman with three teenagers and I have been a childminder/nanny for 14 years. She micro manages everything. Checks my times on the ring doorbell and on their alarm system. Has changed days most weeks since I started and it takes three days for me to be paid after I finish my hours for the week. She is quite dismissive when I tell her I haven't been paid yet. I might add that she demands he is brought to a different play group everyday. I've no problem with this if they were local but they are usually a bus ride or tram away and she doesnt reimburse me for my travel expenses.

Today my throat was hoarse and I have a cough( caught it from her DD). I took tablets and powered on. I was hoping for a gentle day at home playing with toys etc but no she told me he needs to go out and bring him to the library 20 minutes away in the pissings of rain. She was and is not interested in the library. We went for an hour and I feel sick physically.

I know I'm leaving and I want to be honest. I don't need a reference from her as I have excellent references already. Should I be honest and let her know I'm leaving because of her basically. Little girl is a sweet little thing by the way.

My blood's boiling for you! So.. may be a stupid question but, is there any system whereby agencies get references from ex nannies/childminders who have worked with the parents? It seems ludicrous that she could damage your reputation with future employers but not the other way around?

Wow, not much generosity there?

You shouldn't have to fund nannying her child in any way. What an entitled cow.

Would love to know how many nannies they've been through. Ask the agency if they'll tell you

Bloody hell @Cctviswatchingme001 they sound awful! I know it may not feel like it but you had a lucky escape. What a shame you can’t get added to the whatsapp group and then say ‘oh I heard she left because you were tight, had to be reminded to pay and micro-managed her’.

I’m annoyed on your behalf!

Exactly what I was going to say.

Would be a shame if HMRC discovered he was claiming tax relief on a personal cost wouldn't it...

Good for you for standing up to her OP. I pity the next nanny she hires.

What the hell??!
I had very random working hours when I employed a nanny - they would be contracted for the maximum number of hours I needed them, and if I finished work early I would send them home but still pay them for their contracted hours. It’s the most basic common sense!

Some people are just twats. I worked with 'VVIP's as a governess in the ME for a few years and then arrogance and callousness of some astounds me still.
I look at shitty people and wonder sometimes how did they get by in their careers/relationships when they are so.... yuk!

If you're hired for set hours, you get paid for those hours, whether they let you go home early or not.

FFS

What a bitch

Very surprised the agency isn't taking this more seriously. Or is it the type that is more of a jobs board?

I'd reply something along these lines.

1. Contracted hours were agreed in advance and are not negotiable (hope you have a written agreement on this?).
2. You pay me for the hours as agreed in advance in the contract, no further working out is required.
3. Bank transfers are instant or same day with all UK banks. (I think? And also within the euro zone.)
4. I cannot be out of pocket for incurred work expenses. There was no mention of this in the contract (or hopefully it actually says expenses will be reimbursed). See invoice attached.
5. You must pay the agreed hours and expenses by [date]. If not, I see no other option but to report you to the agency, as you are acting against their [contract/guidelines], and to HMRC, as your payment structure is interesting.

Obviously report to the agency and HMRC regardless of whether they pay. They love a tax avoidance/dodging scheme.

If all else fails, please claim the travel expenses back through your next self-assessment.

Wow! What an absolute witch of a woman. I pity their child. She is going to be that mother when the kid goes to school.

Based on the earlier message I was going to suggest that you report her to your agency so that they can take whatever steps they deem necessary. With the later update, I can see that you have done that.

If I felt brave enough, I'd consider reporting her to other agencies (or get the word around amongst the nanny community) about this horror of a mother who doesn't pay on time, thinks that the nanny should pay for their own transport costs while they are in charge of the child, and is basically a terrible boss to work for. She'll basically become someone who no one wants to work for and in my opinion, this is perfectly acceptable for her.

I don’t think she understands your a nanny not a childminder. Your pay is for the hours arranged not for them to save money by sending you home early. They also need to provide transport/fees the same way they do food. Their child can be at home while you do other chores. You can also do indoor activities with children. So bizarre. She sounds like a complete control freak.

What he's doing is classed as money laundering and it's illegal. Tax evasion. Report him on the HMRC site.

Lesson here, they give you money in advance for travel, otherwise no travel. Surely you should just have access to petty cash. Absolutely ridiculous.
I'd start by saying the child is lovely and has been a pleasure to work with. However, ...
I would be honest, it may help them to be better employers.

Thank you to everyone. I needed the support and understanding. It means a lot.

So I still have her door key, she's hasn't asked for it. Would I be unreasonable to block her messages and not return her key. Might be a lesson not to deduct me 7.50 when changing the locks would cost more.

Brilliant 👏
If she does manage to get through and ask for them say you don't have them.

I think that’s exactly how they got on in their careers. Skulduggery and being happy to slice people up on their way to the top.

She could call the police or something. Personally I would ask for a courier to collect it.

If she does around telling people what a terrible nanny you are, then people will wonder what your side of the story is.

Say nothing about her to anyone. It will be briefly satisfying but you will be tainted by association to some shit situation. People don’t come out smelling of roses and it just casts a professional shadow over you. Learn from it, build certain new clauses into your contract and move on.

I'd send it in the post with the most ambiguous address on it (but just clear enough that it would eventually get to her). Send it to them but if they have a summer home (and I'm guessing that people like this woman have a summer home or somewhere they go on holidays regularly) that's where I'd send the key. I wouldn't mention anything or include a note or a return address. Just pop the key in a padded envelope and send it on its way.

Better yet, if you work out of an agency, put the key in an envelope, mark the envelope for the attention of X family or whatever, and give instructions to the office staff that the key is in the office and they want to ensure that it gets handed over so the mother/father/both have to attend the office to collect it! Would your agency go for something like that do you think?

Leave the key somewhere far like the agency or the library anywhere that's quite a distance and let them know she will be coming to collect them. Then send her the address and opening hours let she can pick them up at her earliest convenience and that they are expecting her.

Easy one surely - she can have the key back in exchange for the missing pay and expenses.

Yes, you can tell her that you will return the key once outstanding money owed is settled as receipt of that will then tie up the lose ends of your employment. Tell the CF it’s £7.50 and you’ll settle for a compromise with the miscellaneous expenses at £10 (or whatever).