No regrets, but would you have done this for your friend?

[farmlife2]

One of my closest friends and me go to a mother and baby group. Her DH had dropped her off and she didn't have any way of getting home. She asked me for a ride to the nearest bus stop - 3.5 miles from where we were meeting.

The issue is we had our children with us. She didn't have a car seat for her toddler. I said my concerns (safety and legality) and she said she'd sit the toddler in the foot area in the front so she wouldn't be seen. I told her I just wasn't comfortable with it and it would be my responsibility if anything happened (you just never know). Someone else did it for her, but I wonder if others would have done it for a friend?

I'm in the bad books right now but feel like a friend shouldn't ask for that kind of favour. I feel both like a terrible friend but like I did the right thing.

It is perfectly legal to drive a short distance without a car seat - think if taxis and the like.

If there had been an accident you would have been prosecuted. She was wrong to ask you.
Did the friend who offered a lift have a spare car seat ?
She should have called for a taxi.

OP isn't a taxi though, it wasn't an emergency and presumably there was room for a car seat.

I don't understand why OP should have offered can money. Why couldn't the friend have ordered and paid for her own cab. She isn't the OPs responsibility!

That's so kind of you.

I'm wondering why she went to the group when she knew she had no way of getting home

You have put the safety of your friend's child first. That is the responsible thing to do.

Your friend is being irresponsible by not planning ahead, assuming her child will be ok sitting in a footwell, and getting annoyed with you for pointing out the safety aspects of the situation.

I don’t know why you are trying to appease her in this way. You are 100% in the right here. She has no reason to expect lifts even without her insane suggestion.

Of course you can offers lift if it suits but why make yourself ever available to someone who clearly doesn’t value or respect you in the same way?

I wouldn’t have done it either. She’s put her child in danger and whilst statistically the risk is low, it’s a foolish risk to take for such a benign reason.

Because she's a friend - she's not the op's responsibility but for our friends we try to help them find solutions to things

how did she think she was getting home? why couldn’t her husband come back for her? she shouldn’t have put you in that position.

For a friend, of course I would if I could

You did nothing wrong, and your friend was being massively unreasonable. She was putting her child at risk of serious injury, and you could also get into a lot of trouble if you were caught with an unrestrained child traveling in your car.

My friend and her husband took that "risk" with one of their grandchildren, as it was "just around the corner" and they got into so much trouble. They received a severe reprimand from the police officer who stopped them, and I think her husband ended up with points on his license. They were only trying to help, and she was very upset at how she was spoken to by the police, but that was no excuse. We had to gently explain why it is never an option to let a child ride in a car without the appropriate restraints. They were lucky to get off with a telling off and points, if you ask me, because it could have ended in tragedy!

She was completely unreasonable to ask this of you. Its your arse on a plate if anything goes wrong. And her kid who would be injured.

YANBU

You did the right thing, don't even think otherwise.

Tbh I wouldn't have, and I'd be reconsidering anyone who asked me to.

TBH I’d have just sat her in a normal seat without a car seat for a few miles. NEVER in the foot well though FFS this is mental

What normal seat would that have been? They were all occupied.

No way would I do this. I know of a labrador that was killed in a car crash where it was sat in the footwell because of the way the air bags deploy. No way I'd be putting a child there.

Contrary cos I gave a solution for use in future? Very odd way of looking at it.

You seemed to have walked into this bar itching for a fight with me - did I inadvertently insult your family name at some point? Have I to ready the glove?

Good spot

I don't think it's over the top - OP didn't want to take a risk (where the worst case is death of child and prison for manslaughter) and her 'friend' is not seeing that?

That's not a friend. She should have never asked her, all she cared about was her own convenience - not the position she was putting her child or OP in.

Ah I missed that bit.

In that case I’d have said no and would be giving her a wide berth from now on. No post needs that weirdness in their lives

"she said she'd sit the toddler in the foot area in the front so she wouldn't be seen." What the actual fuck - as if you would agree to that.
When she got dropped off by her husband she must have had some plan for getting home and if that was it then she is a lunatic. Perhaps she assumed you would have the bigger car but if you need a lift and don't have a car seat - you check or book the taxi in advance.

Chances are risking it would be ok 99% of the time but you don't take any risks with your kid. I can't imagine anyone thinking sticking the kid in the foot well is anything other than ludicrous.

You don't need a taxi exemption, short, unexpected journeys are covered.