Friend kissed my baby, feeling upset

[Lurkinmn]

A friend came to visit me and asked if she can take the baby. Baby is 16 weeks old, I gave her the baby and she did a quick peck on my baby's cheek. I was shocked that why would she kiss other people's baby. I was upset and when she left I wiped my baby's face but I am feeling quite upset about her inconsiderate behaviour putting my baby's health risk. Baby has been fussy last night and I am feeling quite worried about my baby's health. Baby has all her vaccines so far.
What should I do and what should I say to her and other visitors coming to our place to see baby?

YANBU OP. Kissing is a very intimate thing, and as new parents most of us are pretty on top of wanting to protect our baby from any kind of harm. Personally I would have found it really odd for someone else other than us as the baby's parents to kiss them. It feels very personal and then there's the concern about germs, colds, potential cold sores etc.

It's totally fine others are more chilled about it and wouldn't bat an eyelid, and it's totally fine for this to have upset you. Moving forward I think it's a good idea to say to people before handing the baby to them 'they haven't had all their vaccines yet so no kisses' or however you want to say it. I understand on this occasion it didn't enter your mind this friend would even think to do it so you had no reason to say anything. I'd have been really surprised too.

Be kind to yourself.

I would be worried the baby is missing out from not being kissed. Those early weeks and months are formative.

How you want people to handle your baby is entirely up to you. You don't have to explain to anyone. Perhaps you could even send people a text before they get to your home that you don't like people to kiss the baby. People might find it strange, but so what?

I remember being outraged when a friend would have us all wash our hands before holding her baby. That was many decades before COVID. Nowadays I would wash my hands anyway before holding a vulnerable baby and, no, I would not kiss my friend's baby - although it is always tempting to do so because babies are designed to inspire feelings of love and care.

I hope you don't get too much flack for this, OP.

That’s so sad you haven’t kissed your baby 😔 Poor baby.

You need to get therapy for your anxiety sorry OP. It’s good for babies to be exposed to germs, it builds up their immune systems.

You've not kissed your own baby? Wtf.... You are very unreasonable....

Would you know to feel upset if you hadn't read about it previously on MN?

Absolutely I have 🤣

Christ on a bike 🙄

Gosh that makes me really sad. Stay away from Instagram and listen to your instincts. Your friend instinctually kissed the baby, it's built into us to do so. To actively avoid that is worrying.

If you've got a older one they're going to bringing germs back. Unless you wrap that one in cotton wool too. Can't keep them germ free forever.

I don't think I have any friends who haven't kissed one or all of my kids as babies. We certainly don't ask permission to pick each others kids up, just do it. If one of them cries, whoever is closest just scoops them up and comforts them.

This level of paranoia is insane.

I find it really hard to believe no one has kissed your baby before on the face, it is instinctive to do so as parents especially. As for this post I really think you need to relax, I understand not wanting kisses on the mouth but what harm can come to the cheek?

This is insane. Your baby is not a newborn and you are overreacting!

I think I kissed both my babies’ faces approximately 50 times a day since the moment they were born! And they’re a very healthy 5 and 1 currently 😂

You’re allowing your phobia to ruin your experience of your baby!

You haven't either??

Yes I have.

And on the cheek too

This is really sad .

Get some therapy.
You sound massively over anxious.
In the kindest way, you need help lovely.

Did you tell her not to?

If you didn't then you are being very unreasonable.

Not everyone knows about risks of kissing babies, and at 16 weeks your baby is no longer a newborn anyway.

It's very different from a friend kissing your baby on the lips. I wouldn't be remotely bothered if it was just a kiss on the cheek. I understand health anxiety. My twins were micro preemies. Nobody was allowed to kiss, or really hold, them initially but when they were about 6 months (so around 3 months old size wise/developmentally) even we wouldn't have been bothered by friends or family giving a peck on the cheek.

I have 4 children. One is almost the same age as your little one. His 3 older siblings have kissed him countless times. I'm pretty sure my 2 year old licked his face the other day. And we must kiss him every single time we hold him.

You are being way overprotective and your children will grow up catching everything under the sun because you are wrapping them in cotton wool. Their immune system will be terrible

As long as it wasn't on the mouth or hands it's fine as you wiped after. Also it'd better to let them know in the moment.

I get that you're anxious as I was like that too but you should kiss your own baby. They are not a newborn anymore.

It’s a mumsnet poll id take that with a pinch of salt! Most of the posters on here are completely missing the point… as usual jumping on the op, calling her names being nasty instead of giving sound advice to a clearly worried mum.

This is either a joke or she’s serious and needs to know it’s not normal. It’s incredibly odd and screams “I get all my health info from TikTok”. If it’s genuine, she DOES need help and health care professionals will be empathetic and she certainly won’t be on her own with this issue.

she already carries the herpes virus which makes it less dangerous for baby.

Genuine question (about to have my first) - I thought it was just the first 8 weeks pre vaccinations to avoid kissing newborns on the face, apart from parents?