Friend kissed my baby, feeling upset

[Lurkinmn]

A friend came to visit me and asked if she can take the baby. Baby is 16 weeks old, I gave her the baby and she did a quick peck on my baby's cheek. I was shocked that why would she kiss other people's baby. I was upset and when she left I wiped my baby's face but I am feeling quite upset about her inconsiderate behaviour putting my baby's health risk. Baby has been fussy last night and I am feeling quite worried about my baby's health. Baby has all her vaccines so far.
What should I do and what should I say to her and other visitors coming to our place to see baby?

Poor child

Yes i have kissed loads of babies, all the ones in my extended family and probably most of my friends ones.... thats what those squishy little cheeks are for. I don't know anyone in RL with this paranoia about kissing babies. Its like people who don't let kids blow out candles on a birthday cake "becoz GERMS". Life is not sterile, in fact its too much sterilising etc that contributes to allergies and asthma incidences rising in the west.

It's ok if you dont want anyone to kiss your baby but you have to tell them before hand. It's not fair to expect people to know that as it is outside of the norm. Personally, I think it's healthy for the baby to be kissed, it will help build their immune system x

The healthiest children are the ones exposed to germs. You've missed out on kissing and snuggling your babies for no reason.

If you've got cold sores so don't want to kiss your own baby, then that's all the more reason to welcome everyone else kissing them, so your wee one doesn't miss out on the world's normal affectionate response to babies!

Are you getting professional help for your anxiety because your behaviour really isn't normal. If you don't want others kissing your baby fine, but as a family not being allowed to really isn't.

I'm sure your friend doesn't have the bubonic plague....Unclench.

The biggest threat to your child is teaching them your health and germ anxiety.

Get some help.

You haven't kissed your 16 week old baby? Sorry OP but that's incredibly sad

I missed that part! Me and DH smother ours in kisses ... THOSE CHEEEEEKS 🤣

Well, I might offer that not kissing your baby at all would be worse than worry about infection. Babies are born to be loved and cuddled. If you are really worried about it, I guess you can tell people they should not kiss your child, but that seems kind of sad.

I have kissed my friends babies on the top of their head but not on their face. Not until after 1.

We told people in advance that we don’t want them kissing the our daughter.

Having said that your reaction seems a bit extreme in the aftermath.

Are you seeing anyone for your anxiety? My Daughter is 2 and I’m still struggling with depression and anxiety over her so I do completely understand how you are feeling. When my daughter was about 3 weeks old a family friends daughter (19ish I think but with severe sen difficulties) kissed her on the mouth. I felt sick all day.

This is crazy. Chill out.

I'm only talking about the strangers I did not reference the family not being allowed to kiss the baby. Obviously if a family member has a cold sore they too shouldn't but in all of my posts I was referring to visitors. I never once said the nhs says family can't kiss their own baby 🙄

A lot of people carry and transmit the herpes virus without having symptoms of it so OP is correct to be worried as it can be dangerous to babies. Nobody should be kissing someone else’s baby.

i thought kissing on the face had actual immune system health benefits? look it up

So glad when my dc were babies that it was normal to kiss babies. My babies had lots of kisses from lots of people and I’ve kissed lots of babies. Unless the person is ill or has a cold sore then a kiss on the cheek or head is fine.

People are being really harsh to you OP. I love my friends babies and would never ever kiss someone else’s baby. I find it really weird she did tbh. Not even thinking about germs I just find it seriously odd.
I only ever kiss my own children and usually the tops
of their heads or eskimo kisses. Remember some
people kiss their kids on the mouth which id never do and so different people have different standards/whats normal to them. Equating you not kissing your babies face to not holding/cuddling them is a major overreaction from other posters.

It’s literally flu season and as someone with young kids with flu right now I wouldn’t wish it on anyone. I don’t think you’re being unreasonable! My kids got flu off someone who didn’t realise they had it yet as the incubation period can be longer.

''When a mother kisses her newborn baby, she takes in any pathogens living on the baby’s skin that will soon be taken in through the mouth. These pathogens are taken into the mother’s secondary lympoid organs like the tonsils where memory B cells specific for those pathogens are re-stimulated. If the mother is breastfeeding, her breasts use those B cells to produce antibodies for those pathogens. While nursing, the baby then receives the antibodies for the pathogens in his or her body.''

You have a form of health anxiety and you should get some help, op, before you inflict these fears on your kids

You don’t kiss your own baby? That’s so sad. And unnecessary.

Yes. Lots.

I wouldn’t pick up without permission, but once that baby is in my arms it’s fair game for kisses!

@MagnoliaGirlie did you get treatment for the ppocd/did it get better?

Not losing your baby if you have the cold sore is
more than reasonable. I also think it’s weird to kiss others babies and have never done it. Just bear in mind 4m old put their mouths on their feet a lot and that may not be the wisest place to kiss if you have an active cold sore

Oh Op, its so sad you haven't kissed your own baby!

Gently, it's vital for emotional development. It releases oxytocin, and actually enhances immune function so you're doing much more harm than good here!