Am I being a massive bloody prude or is this the hill to die on?

[Joulesdog]

We have a 4 children. 2DS aged 24 &21, DD1 who is 13 and dd2 who was a surprise is 4.

DD1 is very into Taylor Swift, Sabrina Carpinter, Charlie xcx etc. she 14 and is obsessed.
I'm happy to let her listen to whatever (within reason)

As a family we have a shared Vinyl player that is DH's pride and joy. Each child wants to buy albums for the vinyl as they like the sound of it and whoever chooses the records on a Sunday gets to have them playing through Sunday dinner etc.

Oldest DD's birthday is coming up soon and she wants as part of her presents the Charlie XCX 'brat and it's complicated' release on vinyl and I said yes but Charlie xcx has released this vinyl album with white powder inside the record that moves around on the vinyl player and it's meant
To be like a bag of cocaine.

DH thinks it's hideous and sends the wrong message coming and I'd usually disagree and say things have changed since our generation but I think this is awful

If our daughter is correct then lots of her yr 9 friends will get a vinyl copy of an album where this is white powder inside the record that moves around when it's played?

Am I out of touch? I just think this is Insane

The journalist who writes the parliamentary sketch for the guardian quotes from heroin sometimes

The one who also writes about his decades-long addiction to heroin?

I know each generation gets introduced to less censorship as they grow from teens into adults and I can remember my mother telling me to stop playing an LP of mine so loud because it had the word F##k in it. Lyrics that described drug use have been around since the 60's when I was 14 and none of it made me into a junkie. I think you will be that way regardless of what you hear in songs. I would be far more concerned about the lyrics projecting women as sex objects for men's pleasure and normalizing that. There is no talk of consent here. Bitch may not mean the same now as it did in my day but I would still call it a derogatory term. If my granddaughter was called " my bitch" by her BF I would be having a stern word with him. I must say I am not a fan of rap and hip hop language as it does portray a misogynist tone that women are there to please men. I am a man by the way. Teenage girls need to be taught they are no ones "bitch" and they decide what they do and don't do in their life and relationships.

I wouldn’t want that in my house and I don’t think it’s anything to do with being prudish. The normalising of drugs is not normal. I’m with you.

I definitely would not buy it. The lyrics alone are not suitable, and with the white powder, forget it. She won’t like it but explain to her you have seen some of the lyrics and you don’t feel it is suitable for her. Be prepared to stand your ground even if it spoils her birthday. It’s the thin end of the wedge to give in. You’re her parent not her friend. Good luck!

I wouldn’t be too worried about this tbh. Although the lyrics seem far worse to me than the fake coke! Will your daughter even be aware of what it’s all about.

Perhaps everything was more innocent in the early 2000s as we weren’t as internetty. But I remember getting the libertines album where Pete and Carl are shooting heroin on the cover and I don’t think I had a clue what they were doing. I certainly didn’t go on to become a heroin addict.

making a big deal out of it might make it worse. I’d maybe let her know that you are not comfortable with what the lyrics promote so you’ll not be buying it but she can save and buy it herself if she wants.

Irrelevant but just to say, I love how engaged your kids are with music! What a cool set up (choosing the music for Sunday dinner) if I get to be a mother I'm so going to steal this format :)

I have three teen nieces but none of them seem to hold much passion for albums/artists (their mum listens to a lot of show tunes). I'm quite conscious of listening to albums as they were curated rather than only Apple Music playlists that we've made which can tend towards passive listening/sonic wallpaper.

In regards to the cocaine record, if I were a mother I'd probably not choose it. I'd find it kinda crass even as an adult who's taken drugs. Like.. the message that drugs are cool is kinda lame. The effort to shock is also kinda lame?

As a teen in the 60's my parents had no knowledge of what music I listened to outside the home, or the fact that me and my then 14-year-old boyfriend who both went to school in Manchester we knew loads of places where drugs changed hands and were used. It served to make me street-wise and I never even smoked a joint.

I'm afraid that as an amateur musician/singer I would have known all the words of every song I ever heard and wasn't fazed by some of the vile language (maybe not to the extent of this one but pretty rough even in the 60s). And that was despite being a "good catholic girl"!

You can't molly-coddle your kids once they are teenagers, they will do it all behind your back anyway so you won't know. Far better to have a mature conversation (if appropriate) about the vile words and implications in this record (but I guess she will find that embarassing - she probably only wants this record cos all her friends have got it.

I'd suggest you listen to it. Make some positive comments about the tune (if there is one) and say you don't think the words are appropriate for a family dinner time.

Sorry about that.

I forget I'm in my 40s not my 20s anymore. 60 years ago isn't nearly as far back as what I meant!

I rather meant those that think that people living in care homes still love wartime music despite being of the rock n roll/punk age! My mum is older than you and she was a punk. Or so she says lol.

Just NO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
a) the powder is promoting cocaine usage, but not the part where the centre of the nose collapses, or that lovely feeling of insects crawling all over the skin, and they scratch the outer layers off.
b) will it not damage the surface of the LP (you guessed it, I am THAT old)?
c) will it not damage the needle?
d) do you want your daughter to listen to lyrics like that??
I am going, like a few others, to say that you should be the grown up, and tell your daughter that the words are full of hateful speech and she should not follow the crowd and listen to lyrics that denegrate women and then explain what cock sucking is and what drugs can do to young girls.
If she still resists, get her to read the transcript of the Grooming Gang trials in the Midlands and what happened to young women who were given "hits"
Yes, we did have Frankie Goes to Hollywood, and Punk, but this Gangsta Rap is something else re violence, drug usage and misogany .

I think I am in the minority here but I would buy it and don't have any issues with it. I think not getting it makes it even more attractive. My recently 15 daughter had a drugs talk at school from a former addict and has declared she will never touch drugs ever. I talked her down from her declaration of abstinence saying that if at some point in the future she does experiment then ended up in a difficult situation then she must know to always phone me and I will help her - no judgement. I don't want her to ever be in such a position that she thinks I am so vehemently anti drugs that I would not help her if she fell off the wagon.

I didn't know such a thing existed but now want one for myself as I have bought vinyl since the 80s and LOVE a special edition - everything from picture disks to runout grooves with messages to coloured vinyl.

Problem solved - I went to buy this special edition record and it was only available to buy for two hours. It can no longer be pre-ordered. I am very disappointed.

It is.

One of my favourite Bowie songs - that I first heard and learned by heart when I was fourteen - begins...

"It's safe in the city to love in a doorway,
To wrangle some screams from the dawn...."

and climaxes with...

"We'll buy some drugs and watch a band,
Jump in the river holding hands."

Loved that song, and still do. And though I watched bands from that age to now, I didn't do any of the other things.

Oh, hang on - might have to admit to a doorway incident in my twenties.

I don't think tales of sleaze are too worrying. Rock music lyrics are about fifty-percent sleaze. But I think the casual violence towards women - in fact anyone - is unacceptable, not because I think it's going to turn any of my kids into violent misogynists - more because it's an unpleasant attitude to express as a normalised way of being. And a bit artless, to be honest.

Also, yeah, it's not really going go well with trifle.

Totally agree, it's naff! I really enjoy the album, but like...we get it 😂

I don't think women who are famous are responsible for curating themselves to be a good influence - she's making music for clubbing age people. The fact that younger teens will want to listen isn't her problem, and is up to their parents to manage/contextualise for them.

Gosh!

I’d get her the normal one and I’d also check the lyric content. Even the most mainstream artists feel they need to chuck in a few fucks and worse around.

Ah I see this has been covered by pp.

Seriously we've all grown up listening to music about sex and drugs.
Ebenezer good literally had the lyrics "E's are good, E's are good'
Spice girls sang a song about losing your virginity and getting your boyfriend to put a condom on - 2become1 "put it on because tonight is the night when 2 become 1"

Personally if the vinyl has something moving about inside it I wouldn't get it - it won't be good for the turntable.

My children are fully grown now but I wouldn’t buy anything for them I didn’t agree with/feel comfortable about. This would range from certain brands I wouldn’t use for ethical reasons to things I felt age inappropriate or didn’t align with my values. Usually the rule was I wouldn’t ban it (as other OPs have pointed out makes it more desirable) - but they could buy it themselves. There might also be caveats eg like can’t wear for school if clothes. I would also explain why and encourage them to really think about it. This approach encouraged their own critical thinking and often raised interesting conversations/counter arguments.

In your situation I would refuse to buy this particular vinyl and explain why. I’d tell her if she felt comfortable promoting drugs in this way she can buy it with her own money - but you would also not like to listen it during family time. Especially because of the influence on your youngest child - who is not capable of critical thinking yet and (probably) looks up to her big sister as a role model.

edited to add:

I agree with other OPs that all popular music over the decades has been about sex/drugs and other subjects that are taboo. Many now considered very acceptable classics and helped break down barriers. They have their place but you do not have to sacrifice your values - just don’t go as far as censorship and use it as an opportunity for open honest discussion.

I don't think seeing something that looks like drugs is going to entice kids to take drugs... just like hearing songs about sex isn't going to make them desperate to have sex. But I already think Sabrina Carpenter and Charlie XCX are verging on inappropriate for a 14 year old (can't imagine listening to either over Sunday lunch with children) so no I wouldn't buy something that looked like cocaine for my young teenage daughter. We all listened to songs with dodgy lyrics that we didn't fully understand as kids, but this is taking drug references a bit far. And it's just really a bit naff... surely the only people who think this looks cool are people who make getting wasted their whole personality

It's horrible and i absolutely wouldn't get it. And I wouldn't get a normal one either as I would refuse to contribute towards the wealth of anyone who promotes or normalises drug taking.

The branding is consistent with the types of song lyrics, so I think they assume that people who dislike the packaging would really hate the content.

I would bet 14 years olds know more about drugs than us lot... why not use it as a conversation point.
What do you know about drugs?
Do you think this is cool?
etc...

Do not get anything that promotes drug usage, YANBU.

Back in the day I bought the 45 Je t’aime moi non plus..very orgasmic. My dad banned it from the house. I’d do the same with the record your daughter wants.

Music is not censored in this country. There is no one to “report” it to.

Nobody's talking about that but I'm pretty sure that promoting merchandise in a way that actively promotes drug use is.......