Am I being a massive bloody prude or is this the hill to die on?

[Joulesdog]

We have a 4 children. 2DS aged 24 &21, DD1 who is 13 and dd2 who was a surprise is 4.

DD1 is very into Taylor Swift, Sabrina Carpinter, Charlie xcx etc. she 14 and is obsessed.
I'm happy to let her listen to whatever (within reason)

As a family we have a shared Vinyl player that is DH's pride and joy. Each child wants to buy albums for the vinyl as they like the sound of it and whoever chooses the records on a Sunday gets to have them playing through Sunday dinner etc.

Oldest DD's birthday is coming up soon and she wants as part of her presents the Charlie XCX 'brat and it's complicated' release on vinyl and I said yes but Charlie xcx has released this vinyl album with white powder inside the record that moves around on the vinyl player and it's meant
To be like a bag of cocaine.

DH thinks it's hideous and sends the wrong message coming and I'd usually disagree and say things have changed since our generation but I think this is awful

If our daughter is correct then lots of her yr 9 friends will get a vinyl copy of an album where this is white powder inside the record that moves around when it's played?

Am I out of touch? I just think this is Insane

I must have listened to some suggestive lyrics as a teen in the. 70s but I was that naive and innocent they went right over my head and I didn’t realise until later. Today’s lyrics are so much more explicit and in your face though.

I think fair enough if you don’t want her to have the fake coke record but I think it’s really great that you all share each others music. I wouldn’t listen to some of the opinions on here because people are being very dramatic!

From about the age of 13 my favourite music was hip hop/rap - some of the lyrics are dubious to put it mildly (eminems first album would send some posters on here in to cardiac arrest I think) with lots of swearing and generally offensive language especially aimed at women but I always listened at home and my family did a similar thing to yours. I have nice memories of it and it didn’t corrupt me - my mom made it absolutely clear how she felt about the misogynistic lyrics and we had many an interesting conversation. For what it’s worth I didn’t have sex until I was 19, never even drank alcohol until I was 18 and aside from the odd spliff in my 20s I’ve never touched drugs!🤣

Unfortunately for you Sabrina Carpenter and Charli XCX are pretty shit so you have my sympathies that you have to sit through their stuff OP - it’s a nice thing to do though!

Buy the regular pressing, use it to start a conversation around drugs and sex and consent and body confidence, and have a healthy open dialogue with your teenager, rather than a pearl-clutching ‘ban’ from your household.

Bans don’t work, FYI.

Or just force her to listen to the Kids’ Bop albums and brace-brace for the teenage rebellion.

Some posts on this thread are a masterclass in overreaction.

I remember the original Sticky Fingers album (with the zip) raising many eyebrows when it was released. I no idea what the title referred to, despite it being blatantly obvious to me know. If your daughter understands the significance of the white powder, banning it is irrelevant . If she doesn’t, it doesn’t matter. Its conceptual.

In the late 90s, which apparently was over 25 years ago (I refuse to accept this).

I'm finding the pearl clutching over song lyrics quite amusing, given what most of us will have been listening to in the 80s/90s. It was perhaps less overt then, but no less about sex and drugs. I honestly wouldn't have a problem with a 14 year old listening to that song. Some of it will go over her head (as songs like this did when I was that age), and if it doesn't, she's old enough to understand and talk about it. Not one for the dinner table though - start a conversation with her about appropriate music for different occasions and ask her to find something else.

I wouldn't buy the white powder vinyl, that's just tacky. Just like my mum wouldn't buy me a 'Junkie's Baddie Powder' t-shirt as worn by Mark Owen when I was 12 (I had no idea what it meant).

That's what I was thinking.
I' m older and was fanatically into rock music in my teens and twenties and listened to lots of lyrics which were sexual and , in retrospect, misogynistic.
But somehow today's music culture seems to have stripped back on any subtlety and is it's just predominantly so overtly about sex. And profanity.

I particularly abhor rap because it's not only misogynistic and violent but the rappers and their lifestyles disgust me.
I'd not allow rap to be played in my home and if my children actually showed interest in it there would be long conversations about it so they understood exactly what was problematic about it.

I don't care whether I'm considered a prude but I think we owe it to our children to teach them to be discerning and informed about their choices.

delightful lyrics for listening to during Sunday lunch 😂

I loved Eminem. But my parents didn't understand the lyrics so I was free to listen (they understood English fairly well but not swear words) 🤣

😳 JFC!! And to think the edgiest album I had at that age was Blue Is The Colour by the epic Beautiful South. Mainly because it featured the line "don't marry her, fuck me" rather than "have me" which they used on the radio friendly version.

@Oodlesandoodlesofnoodles I remember the Eminem controversy. Wasn't he accused of being responsible for some youth suicides? But I can't remember how.

I'm sure Eminem wasn't that bad though I wouldn't want that being played in my house let alone by a young teenager, and I've just turned 40 so not too old lol.
I used to listen to Marilyn Manson and slipknot etc which people don't seem to like but at least they aren't saying stuff like that!
I'm quite laid back as well but certain things really irk me, like the local vape shop selling sweets, I refuse to let my kids buy sweets from there out of principle haha

I would be more concerned about the content of the songs on the vinyl than the vinyl itself.

Never thought I’d say that anything would make me come over all Mary Whitehouse, but that did! 🤮

Completely agree but surely you meant crap instead of rap!! 😂

Charlie XCX peaked when she wrote 'I love it' as a teenager IMO.

I can't really comment on the lyrics though as i was listening to Prince as a teen:

Get Off

I clocked the jizz from a friend of yours named Vanessa Bet (Bet)
She said you told her a fantasy that got her all wet (Wet)
Something about a little box with a mirror and a tongue inside (Yeah)
What she told me then got me so hot, I knew that we could slide (Ooh)

Gett off: (Twenty three positions in a one night stand)
Gett off: (I'll only call you after if you say I can)
Gett off: (Let a woman be a woman and a man be a man)
Gett off: (If you want to, baby, here I am) Here I am (Here I am)

Then of course there's Sexy MF:

You seem perplexed I haven't taken you yet
Can't you see I'm harder than a man can get?
I got wet dreams comin' out of my ears
I get hard if the wind blows your cologne near me
But I can take it 'cause I want the whole nine
This ain't about the body, it's about the mind

[Chorus: Prince]
Come here, baby, yeah
You sexy motherfucker
Come here, baby, yeah
You sexy motherfucker

Not really Sunday lunch listening.

If you're fine with her listening to the music then what does the album design matter? Kill two birds with one stone and use it to have the drugs talk with her.

People have been listening to songs about drugs/booze/sex ever since people started writing songs. Prudes have been telling us that it'll cause the world to end for generations, yet here we all are 🤷🏻‍♂️

I think something which is pretty much promoting drug use is on a totally different scale from FGTH (also about the same age as you for context)

I have some bad news for you about the pop canon, in that case...

In the noise break, just commenting on this part of this exchange:

NC clear discrepancy between you and SP, But you agree you are entitled to use F CR
DU Yes
NC and to undress in CR
DU In almost 30 years I understand you have to get undressed first in order to change.
NC Didn't occur to you that SP needed menstrual flood
DU N
NC didn't cross mind
DU Not in habit of thinking c colleagues menstruation. Didn't consider it at all until raised in bundle.
NC so didn't think of it a possibility why SP there.

To me this is a massive difference between him and women. The vast majority of women I know manage to get change whilst exposing the least flesh possible! There's always an occasional "free spirit" who lets it all hang out, but most of us change whilst exposing ourselves as little as possible.

How interesting that Dr Upton has always got undressed in order to change.

By the way guys (of the gals kind) thank you so much for all being here - I honestly couldn't cope with hearing all this without us all being here together sharing our thoughts.

The gaslighting is off the scale.

I don't think it would have any effect really, to have the album or not? You're not worried she'll do cocaine. You're okay with the lyrics and her listening to the album. You've had the discussion so she knows cocaine exists.

A vanishingly small no if 13 yos will have access to records or a record player - it’s a luxury item.

I’m not particularly pearl clutching about drug use, although not for me, but I think Brat is so explicitly about doing lots of coke that it’s not the vinyl cover that’s an issue, it’s that a 14 year old will be listening to “shall we do a little key, shall we do a little line?” (Not exactly subtle). My point was, if OP is worried about glamourising drug use, don’t get the album at all, a teenager isn’t the audience.

I can’t personally stand a lot of the online chat about people taking their tweens to Sabrina Carpenter concerts and then being shocked that she’s mimicking a blow job during a song. Her albums aren’t for that audience.