To be irritated by colleagues weekly query about when I'm leaving work?

[BaMamma]

My colleague has a private meeting at 5pm and every week for the last few weeks she asks me at around 4:30 whether I'll still be in the office at 5pm and every week I say sorry, but my bus is at quarter past, and I don't want to wait in the cold, so I'll be here for a little while after 5.

It didn't bother me the first week, but it's really getting on my nerves now.

Didn't help that she took a personal call at 4:40 which mostly consisted of her saying 'I can't talk now' while walking in and out of the office.

Surely OP's colleague could book a meeting room for her weekly call? Where I worked, generally no meetings were booked before 9.00 am or after 5.00 pm so I would assume there would be meeting rooms available for her colleague to book.

But it’s been four weeks. When will she catch on?

There may not be much she can do to rearrange the time of her sessions; she's committed to that therapist now, and evening appointments are in high demand. If it's the type of counselling I think it is, it will be over in another couple of weeks. She will have missed the first few minutes of each session, which is a shame.
None of this would have happened if the two colleagues had been able to have a respectful, friendly conversation and come to some agreement.

I've said elsewhere that we work flexible hours, and that I tell her every week that my bus isn't until 5:20. She's arranged this private phone/online meeting, she can figure out where to have it. There are empty offices she could use at that time. I know her well enough to not believe she's in danger or distress, so I don't think I'm being unkind or thoughtless, just a bit irritated by the same weekly question.
Maybe next week I'll point out that there are offices she could use, maybe she doesn't know, even though she's been here longer than I have.

In that case OP, as it's not a work-related meeting or some sort of medical/counselling type appointment, I'd approach her and tell her it's starting to feel awkward (or irritating depending on how direct you want to be). Tell her that you don't leave work until 5.15pm every day, not just occasionally which seems to be the impression she has, so you'll always be in the office when her meeting starts and that she might prefer to use a meeting room if she wants privacy.

I wouldn't even wait for the usual Monday evening panto. If she chooses not to use a different room at that point then it's her problem.

That wouldn't be rude, just direct.

Is she your boss?

In either case I'd simply tell her, next time she asks, "Excuse me, but you keep asking me this every week and the answer is always going to be the same, so can you please stop?"

I don't get any of this??!! - who the hell has private meetings in their office??!!

I would just ask 🤷🏻‍♀️ Just do it with a smile ‘you ask me that every week. What happens at 5?’

Definitely ask her why it’s even a question. Make her explain herself, not you.

I wonder if it’s an online therapy appointment that she doesn’t want to do at home or others to hear. Though that is still very much her issue to schedule appropriately.

She could always move it to a time when everyone is meant to have left.

next Time she’s asks I’d say the same time as last week and the same time as next week

Just noticed others say this too and the op say she doesn’t seem to be in distress. Well not did I when I was having counselling. People hide things well.

The other colleague could always use a meeting room by the sounds of it,

She wants you gone by 5,
You say, 'she's in a new relationship with another colleague'.
Sounds like she wants the office for meeting her new partner.
I'd hide a listening device, just to satisfy my curiosity.

Does it even comply with your work policy about use of IT? Is she using her work email address for a personal meeting? She could be in trouble with HR if she is.

But, ultimately, YANBU to continue being at work in a room during your paid work time. Her, using her work space to conduct personal matters, needs, as you say, to find somewhere else if she wants to have a private conversation.

I take occasional private calls in my office, everyone does. Difference is, I work in my own office I can close the door to. Everyone else takes their calls away from the main open plan workspace and either speaks outside the office or, if it's cold/rainy, in the stairwell or server room or meeting room if it's not in use. It's not difficult.

So one person wants to use the office at 5pm for a personal phone call

Another wants to use the office at 5pm to keep warm while waiting for the bus

Neither person has a right to demand the office for their own use but surely a compromise can be reached? Is there literally nowhere else that can be used either for her phone call or where you can wait for the bus? Five years ago people were wittering on about “be kind”, it is good to know the legacy lives on. To think all the return to office mandates were so we could deal with this BS.

Put a listening bug in the office she uses for her zoom call!

I'd say "Brenda, I'll be leaving at ten past five, same as I do every Monday. You know my schedule. If your zoom call is private, why not start it a little later, go elsewhere to do it?" Obviously done with a typical Mumsnet smile 😊

Is it only me thats noticed the clear dislike of the woman and her relationship? I have a strong feeling this wouldnt be a problem if it were another staff member but who knows

Where on earth did you get that idea from? OP has only mentioned the new relationship in brief to stem the tide of posters imagining this woman was in a DV situation, and using the office for confidential counselling.

On rereading i have now picked up on that 🫢 thatll teach me to never reply after skim read. My apologies

🤷🏼‍♀️