To be irritated by colleagues weekly query about when I'm leaving work?

[BaMamma]

My colleague has a private meeting at 5pm and every week for the last few weeks she asks me at around 4:30 whether I'll still be in the office at 5pm and every week I say sorry, but my bus is at quarter past, and I don't want to wait in the cold, so I'll be here for a little while after 5.

It didn't bother me the first week, but it's really getting on my nerves now.

Didn't help that she took a personal call at 4:40 which mostly consisted of her saying 'I can't talk now' while walking in and out of the office.

Every week, say ‘Not sure, why?’

Again, regardless of the situation the colleague finds herself in, she shouldn't expect OP change her schedule to accommodate her needs without sitting down and talking to her about it. Perhaps if she did, OP would be more open to the idea. Even if she isn't open to the idea, then it gives OP the opportunity to suggest that she needs to organise somewhere else or a different time if she wants a private space.

I would leave just before 5, give her 2 mins to get her meeting started, then come back for something, just to p her off.

How is it obvious it is therapy? She could be having a regular language online course, watching a tv series, why is the default on here 'must have issues/be having counselling, maybe they have OCD or autism etc.' It feels like people need to find the most 'dramatic' thing and go with that

kindness could be reciprocated and the person could actually explain what they need instead of constant hints if this is what is happening

That’s not for the op to care about!

It might not be the case here, but I've known many colleagues to do speech therapy and counseling online in office spaces. It could be that, but try not to pry too much; they obviously want to keep it private.

@BlondiePortz
How is it obvious it is therapy? She could be having a regular language online course, watching a tv series, why is the default on here 'must have issues/be having counselling

The same call every week and need for privacy and things like 'i can't talk right now' that just wouldn't be an issue if it was something mundane like a education course. Nobody would watch a tv show at work, we live in the world of digital recording, online catch-ups.

Therapy seems like the only logical explanation.

Maybe Op should ask her if everything is OK.

I've worked with more people who have family overseas who use work facilities to have video-calls with their family than people who are having online therapy.

If you are contracted to work til 5 then I would just remind colleague of this. 'Sorry Sally, as you know I work til 5, but will be off home then.'

It sounds intriguing that she has a call at this time that is private but wants to make it in a public office. I would suggest she asks the manager if there is a more private area she could use or tries to change the time of her meeting to 5.15.

It very much depends when the colleague wants the OP to leave. 5 minutes early? Then I can't see the problem. 30 minutes? Probably problem. But Mumsnet is so opposed to people putting themselves out even slightly to help someone else. I'm so glad I don't find this attitude much in real life.

I always leave at ten past 5 on a Monday as my bus leaves at 5:15 so I'm not going to hang around in the cold too early. You seem to ask me every Monday so I'm not sure if you are hoping for privacy in the office. If so I'm happy to put my headphones on if that helps or you will have the office to yourself from ten past 5.

Sounds like she’s money laundering/committing fraud. Does she take her annual leave?

If someone is trying to have therapy in private then they shouldn't be doing so from their workplace.
I don't think it's obviously therapy and I actually think it's highly unlikely to be.

Sounds good.
You could also say you'll let her know if the bus timetable changes!

If she needs a private space then she should book one. Next time say, ‘I’m always going to be leaving at 5 past. Why do you keep asking me’ and laugh.

Is this time booked out in the work diary OP?

If so what is it described as?

Seriously? OMG that is so cheeky especially in the days of everyone having WhatsApp and video calls in their pocket!

What do you think it would be?

I was kind of thinking she has issues, abuse at home, and was trying to navigate her way out.

Time differences often limit when calls can be made, as does access to tech/signal on both ends of a call.

It was 1 if that you hadn't addressed yet, but fair enough, YANBU then. Just say something like "same as every week"?

No idea but that's not OP's concern. A colleague can't turf her out of the office at 5:00 on the dot. If she wants privacy then she needs to go somewhere private or change the time of the meeting.

She's hoping you'll take the hint 😂

Not saying you should but that's obviously why she keeps mentioning it.

She's obviously got something going on. I'd be kind if it's once a week. Just finish at 5, wash up my mug etc, go to loo and sit in reception scrolling for 5 mins.

Well if OP is always hanging around like a bad smell till after 5pm, she’s obviously heard what the meeting actually is. Come on OP, is it therapy or a language lesson?

Very likely. Can’t you have a proper conversation instead of both being passive aggressive? There may be another solution eg you have a cup
of tea in the kitchen until your bus comes or she finds another room for her meeting.